Joan and Melissa

Live Blogging the 2012 SAG Award Red Carpet

2012-01-29T18:11:00.012-05:00

We're in the swing of award season tonite with the 2012 SAG Awards. The actors are starting to make their appearance on the red carpet, so let's get on with it, shall we?

Gotta say, I'm really loving this look on Kelly Osbourne. White is perhaps the only color that could compliment that weird shade of grey hair she's been sporting.

Glenn Close, looking fab in this black dress. The tule on the arms are a bit mummy-rific, but doesn't ruin the whole look.

Diane Lane. This is slightly bridesmaid-y, but really pretty nonetheless. And the cobalt blue is such a great color with her red hair. She's rarely a red carpet miss.

Jayma Mays. Better from the back. Would have preferred a color to compliment her complexion and hair color.

Caley Cuocco. This is so very retro and feminine. Love the braided updo. People may think this is old fashioned or too mature for her -- I say shove it. She look gorg!

Julianna Margolies. Well, it's improvement from the mess she wore at the Golden Globes. But it's ill-fitted at the top, a problem she has time and time again. But, two thumbs up for improvement.

Octavia Spencer in Tadashi Shoji -- another hit! Proving plus-sized women can look just as good on the red carpet as those stick thin broads!

OK, Lea Michele. Simmer down now. You're officially becoming the most annoying person on the red carpet. Hands down. Congrats.

Julie Bowen. It's got that 30s drop-waist retro feel. I'm not hating it. I actually like the color, too. I just can't put my finger on what's missing here...

Ashlee Simpson. Why is she here? Annnnnyway. She happens to look great. Love the dress and the hair is perfection.

Kristen Wiig. Oh, well. She tries. She's funny as hell, but can't dress worth a damn. Someone needs to sway her away from these muted, pale fabrics and get her into something daring and colorful!

Michelle Williams in Valentino. Gotta say, this is matronly for Valentino. Hate it. Hate the hemline, hate the neckline. Hate it.

Regina King. God, this color rocks. It may be a tad too frilly, but she looks fab!

Rose Byrne in what easily is the Worst Dressed for the night. Ladies -- while a jumpsuit may seem like a good idea (though when, I've no idea), it never, ever is. No matter how much you flash it up with frills, sequins and other do-dads, a jumpsuit is NEVER a good idea.

Kyra Sedgewick. I dunno, it just seems cheap, doesn't it? I know cut-outs are the big thing, but ick.

Sofia Vergara -- It's hard for her to eff it all up, isn't it? When I come back in my next life -- I call dibs on this body. Damn, bitch.

Viola Davis in a very Grecian number. Loving the metallic gold detail on the bust. Lovely.

Emma Stone in Alexander McQueen. AMAZING. She hit it out of the park!!!

Golden Globes 2012: Best Dressed

2012-01-17T20:50:00.000-05:00

...and now, to counter the worst of the worst, we give you the BEST of the BEST -- in no particular order. Oh, and one very honorable mention for Most Improved.

JULIE BOWEN in Reem Acra. Bowen is clearly channeling Grace Kelly in her Golden Globes gown, and it works on every single level. She pulled it off perfectly. From the styling, to the retro cut of the dress. She might as well be walking right off the set of To Catch a Thief. GOR-G-EOUS.

CHARLIZE THERON in Dior. What an improvement from the Critic's Choice Awards. Soft, ethereal, almost Greek goddess. Sure, the slit and vee-plunge is a little revealing, but Theron can pull it off without making it look slutty.

DIANE LANE in Reem Acra. Perfection. From the Veronica Lake-esque waves in her hair to the cap sleeve and intricate beading -- it's all working. This is how someone should look on the red carpet.

JESSICA ALBA. She just had a baby, didn't she? Unreal. These actresses are not human. This feminine column dress with a free-floating wispy train at the back is just incredible.

TILDA SWINTON. And the award for Most Improved goes to... Holy crap. I totally had to eat my words when I saw this. Sure, the hair is a bit much -- but that gown is to die for. And it really works with Swinton's pale complexion. She needs to hang on to her new stylist for dear life!

EVAN RACHEL WOOD. Amazing from all angles. This iridescent beaded and feathered gown, which shouldn't be elegant logically, achieves just that: Old Hollywood Glamor. Well done on all level.s

Golden Globes 2012: Worst Dressed

2012-01-17T20:40:00.000-05:00

Better late than never. It's that time. Time to investigate just WTF some H-wood starlets were thinking when they got dressed for the 2012 Golden Globes. This year's WORST DRESSED, in no particular order, are:

ANGELINA JOLIE in Versace. I do not, I repeat, do not care who put her on their Best Dressed list -- because they're obviously smoking the ganga. Like I said the night of, it looks like someone let Jolie get into Julia Sugarbaker's closet. The stark white against the red is just so damn 80s -- and not in a fun, ironic way. The severely pulled back up do and the red, red lips -- just tooooooo much. Dial it down, killer!

JULIANNA MARGOLIES. Here's another one who ended up on the Best Dressed list. Pardon? She looks like a big purple mummy. It's horrible. Just horrible.

PIPER PARABO. Oh, boy. Someone's stylist is out of work now and might need to switch careers after this giant, cream puff of a fiasco. And, rightly so.

SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR in Monique Lhullier. Yes, you read that right. Monique Lhullier, usually associated with the cream of the award show gown crop, is responsible for this hot mess. This is obviously from Monique's Blue Period. And, I hope she gets over those blues STAT!

ZOOEY DESCHANEL. The main problem here? She listened to the clang of people telling her she needs to portray a more glamorous side and ditch her playful quirkiness. WRONG. The reason she's not pulling off this dress is simply because it's not Zooey. Hope she goes back to who she is and what she does best.

Live Blogging the 2012 Golden Globes Red Carpet

2012-01-15T18:11:00.012-05:00

A lot's riding on this red carpet. Let's hope H-wood brings it, unlike the last few nights of award show red carpets. And, now -- since George Clooney's super early and got things rolling to a fast start, let's get this party started:

Kelly Osbourne. I...kinda...like...this. I'm still deciding. It's a great color (though nothing goes w/that odd shade of grey she's dyed her hair). The lines on the sleeves may make it a bit unbalanced, but overall, pretty good.

Piper Parabo. Um, that's a whole lotta dress right there.

Julianna Margolies. She needs to shake things up. I'm getting bored of this sleek, pulled back look.

Claire Danes. Front and back, since this dress is dramatically different from one side to the other. The back is much, much better. She should back into the auditorium.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but Nicole Richie looks great. Something about this beaded silver number and her hairstyle is just working. Go figure.

Jessica Chastain. This reads much prettier on camera, but falls flat in stills. If you look closely, it has a really lovely pearlwork design. Not crazy about the high neck, though.

Octavia Spencer. One of my favorites so far. Really lovely muted lavender. The silhouette is perfect for her and the draping is really flattering.

Melissa McCarthy. Again, a really good silhouette. Great neckline, but I'd love if this were a different color. Maybe a jewel tone. Something rich. This color is just drab.

Sarah Michelle Gellar -- oh, this is rich. You'll love this. Her 2-year-old daughter helped her pick out this dress -- and it shows! She said she didn't try on many dresses for the event, and clearly she should have. This is a hot mess and contender for Worst Dressed. It's only 6:46pm. Ooof. I don't think Buffy would even fight her way off the Worst Dressed list this year.

Sarah Hyland in vintage Dolce and Gabbana. This is adorable. Nuff said. Love the lace. Love the sash. Love it.

Gotta say, Stacy Kiebler's got some plain taste. But, I guess when you got George Clooney on your arm, that's the only accessory you need.

Sofia Vegara. I seriously don't know how she's walking down the carpet in this Morticia Adams getup. Holy crap, her knees much be chafing something fierce.

Diane Lane in Reem Acra. GOR-G-E-OUS. So feminine, so glittery, lovely lines and detail. Her hair, so Veronica Lake-retro. Just really well done. Definitely a Best Dressed contender.

Shailine Woodley. You can't see it in the image, but when that overskirt is lifted or floats away from the underskirt, the beadwork on the shift beneath is outstanding. The dress sits a little too low on her frame, but the detail at the neckline is just exquisite.

Zooey Deschanel in a one-of-a-kind Prada that's a one-of-a-kind disaster. Not.a.fan.

Viola Davis working that high-cut slit. Great color. Great lines.

Charlize Theron in Dior. Incredible. The image doesn't do it justice. It's perfection on camera. From the jeweled headband to the flourishing bow at the waist. Gorg.

Selma Hayek. Again, another dress that doesn't photograph well. The detail is amazing. The plaits of gold in the bustier and the vertical beading in the skirt, just amazing.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Yes, I'm glad she's not wearing black. But this dress feels so 80s, like she stole it from Julia Sugarbaker's rack on the Designing Women set. I dunno. Love the midsection detail, but otherwise, it's skeezing me out.

Evan Rachel Wood. Now, this is just the opposite. Looks like shit on camera and gorg in photographs. I'm not a big fan of feathers but the iridescence is just so dreamy.

Holy shit, I'm about the eat my words. Tilda Swinton is rocking the red carpet! I cannot believe my eyes! She ditched the pant suit for a feminine silhouette in a color that totally compliments her skin tone. I'm stunned.

I think this might be one of my worst dressed. --Melissa

Golden Globes 2012 Nominees: Our Picks

2012-01-15T11:10:00.000-05:00

Best film, drama: The Descendants, The Help, Hugo, The Ides of March, Moneyball, War Horse.

Best film, comedy or musical: 50/50, The Artist, Bridesmaids, Carnage, Midnight in Paris, My Week With Marilyn.

Best actor, drama: George Clooney in The Descendants, Brad Pitt in Moneyball, Ryan Gosling in The Ides of March, Michael Fassbender in Shame, Leonardo DiCaprio in J. Edgar.

Best actress, drama: Glenn Close in Albert Nobbs, Viola Davis in The Help, Rooney Mara in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Meryl Streep in The Iron Lady, Tilda Swinton in We Need to Talk About Kevin.

Best director: Woody Allen for Midnight in Paris, George Clooney for The Ides of March, Michael Hazavicius for The Artist, Alexander Payne for The Descendants, Martin Scorsese for Hugo.

Best actor, comedy or musical: Jean Dujardin in The Artist, Brendan Gleeson in The Guard, Joseph Gordon-Levitt in 50/50, Ryan Gosling in Crazy, Stupid, Love, Owen Wilson in Midnight in Paris.

Best actress, comedy or musical: Jodie Foster in Carnage, Charlize Theron in Young Adult, Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids, Michelle Williams in My Week with Marilyn, Kate Winslet in Carnage.

Best supporting actress: Berenice Bejo in The Artist, Jessica Chastain in The Help, Janet McTeer in Albert Nobbs, Octavia Spencer in The Help, Shailene Woodley in The Descendants.

Best supporting actor: Kenneth Branagh in My Week With Marilyn, Albert Brooks in Drive, Jonah Hill in Moneyball, Viggo Mortensen in A Dangerous Method, Christopher Plummer in Beginners.

Best animated feature: The Adventures of Tintin, Arthur Christmas, Cars 2, Puss 'n Boots, Rango.

Critic's Choice Awards 2012: Red Carpet Showdown

2012-01-14T19:49:00.001-05:00

By comparison, The People's Choice Awards and The Critic's Choice Awards (and the upcoming Independent Spirit Awards) are far more casual affairs than the Golden Globes and Oscars. That being said, it doesn't mean it's OK for stars to show up as if they've just rolled out of bed. The trend for 2012 red carpet fashion seems to be: I don't give a shit.

Case in point:

Oh, Diane Kruger. I love how you consistently get it drastically wrong all.the.damn.time. This whole "taking chances for high fashion" thing really has to stop. Everything from the messy up do to the strangled bust line to the positively vom-inducing color combination is pure disgusting perfection. Well done, as always.

OK. First things first. Tilda Swinton should NEVER stand next to Charlize Theron. Tilda "my body rejects anything but a pant suit" Swinton is a hard sell. I've seen her look good once, and even that is a hazy memory, on the red carpet. As for Charlize, this dress is weird. The choppy details and brash edging make it look tough and not soft. Not sold.

What's not to love about Emma Stone? This dress, for one. It's a little too South Beach poolside for me. I think it ages her, too. Maybe if it were shorter? I dunno. It's just a miss and not a hit, which she's usually quite capable of mastering.

Stacy Kiebler -- I like the neckline. Apparently George likes the climb. She's a tall one. And as far as his arm candy, he really needs to start dating in his age range. Would it kill him to date a 40 year old?

Michelle Williams always takes risks. Given. But simply removing that swathe of black at the bottom would have made this dress an A+. Instead, it makes it an F.

Oh, the humanity! For Fanning's sake, that is one seriously bad dress. It's like everything bad about the 70s got drunk and threw up all over her. And by great Olson's beard -- that dress is a PucciPity! And whoever the genius was to have these two pose together needs to be put down. I need to unsee this immediately.

Jessica Chastain, by a very small margin, is -- well, I can't say Best Dressed -- of the evening. I'll say OK Dressed. The dress lacks balance and her hair is too severe. But, this is head and shoulders above the rest. And, that's not saying much.

Pray the Fashion Gods are called in to work over time for tomorrow's Golden Globes, cause I cannot handle another piss poor red carpet display. WORK IT, PEOPLE!

People's Choice Awards 2012: Red Carpet Roundup

2012-01-12T18:31:00.000-05:00

I have one word for last night's People's Choice red carpet: tacky. It was like an S&M convention pounced itself on the Nokia Theatre, trampled on the red carpet and beat all onlookers into submission. There was one shining exception, thank goodness, to claim the title of Best Dressed. So, let's tear these starlets apart, shall we?

Ashley Green donning the subtle S&M look, short form. It's all too harsh. While the cut and design of this dress may be flattering, the stark black makes and sheen of the skirt fabric makes it look cheap, like a $2 whore. Next!

Jennifer Lawrence, who's obviously been caught in a net. Maybe she's up for the Best Cameo on Deadliest Catch? No excuse is good enough for sporting this atrocity.

Juilianne Hough. Much like the ever-classy mullet, this dress was all business in the front and a party in the back -- if that party is at Scores on a Saturday night.

Lea Michelle who apparently didn't have anything to wear and at the very last minute decided to rip off every last tassel from her drapes and lamp shades and fashion it into a makeshift dress. This isn't a Project Runway challenge, sweetie.

I don't even know who this broad is. She's probably DemiVanessaSelena LovatoHudgensLohan for all I care. What I do care about is this God awful schmatte. She's not wearing that dress, that dress is wearing her...in all the wrong ways.

Vanessa Hudgens as Kiss of the Spiderwoman. Really? A web motif? Is it Halloween? No, dumbass. It's award show season. If you honestly expect not to get reamed for this, you're dumber than you look.


Ginnifer Goodwin, THANK GOD FOR YOU! You were the only one who dared to do something different, something bold and something with a classy retro feel with a modern edge. If not for you there would be no Best Dressed this evening.

With a name like that...

2012-01-10T18:12:00.001-05:00

Beyonce and Jay-Z are proud parents. Interesting choice of name:

Blue Ivy Carter went home from the hospital with mom and dad Beyonce and Jay-Z early Tuesday, Lenox Hill Hospital officials confirmed to the Daily News and E! News. [yahoo/omg]

Blue Ivy Carter. Well, she's either gonna end up a stripper or write crap romance novels. Either way, great job on the name picking. Two thumbs up!

Looks like my casting job is done

2011-11-04T13:20:00.002-04:00

Wanted: three uber annoying douchebags to play the three douches in The Three Douches.

Quick, someone wind her up

2011-11-04T13:15:00.001-04:00

PoshBot looks like she's winding down. Good thing Eva Longwhoria was right there to catch Baby Harper before she fell from PoshBot's arms. Someone bring the charger around back and let's bring this robot back to life!

I dunno know who the crazy lunatic is here

2011-11-04T01:35:00.001-04:00

But one of these two is a sick fuck. Maybe both -- that's the only reason I can find for why SJP would subject herself to looking like a complete asshole in these Phillip Treacy "hats".

Is that what they're calling it these days?

2011-11-03T18:05:00.002-04:00

"Partner" yoga = not something I'd sign up for....

Wonderin'

2011-11-02T17:18:00.003-04:00

I'm wondering if the reason why Christain Louboutin creates such high-heeled shoes is cause he secretly wants to carry the broads that wear them and cannot walk. I reckon he's got a lift-and-carry fetish. If you don't know what that is, Google it for christssake.

Just sayin'

2011-11-02T12:53:00.001-04:00

Dia Frampton's cover of Heartless is the most sublime thing I've heard in a longggg time.

PAN AM On Location 10/28/11

2011-10-28T17:41:00.000-04:00

They're filming PAN AM in my neck of the woods this week. Sneaked behind the gates to snap these exteriors. Word around town is there are cast members on set, but no one could tell me exactly who. Ah, well. Fun to see the shooting nonetheless. Not to mention how weird it is to see the PAN AM plane sitting there on the runway. It's like traveling back in time.

Meth Teef

2011-10-14T01:42:00.000-04:00

If this isn't a walking anti-drug PSA, then I dunno what is? All's I gotta say is: The More You Know.

So going to hell for thinking what I'm thinking while looking at this picture

2011-10-13T12:37:00.001-04:00

RIP Steve

2011-10-06T16:43:00.002-04:00

Truly one of the brightest minds of this generation. The Edison and DaVinci of our time.

Emmys 2011: Red Carpet Live!

2011-09-18T17:54:00.013-04:00

OK, let's get this party started.

Kelly Osbourne, looking pretty good. Love the color on this gown, but it's fitted poorly at the top. Still, she looks great considering her father's the Prince of Darkness.

Emmanuelle Chriqui in a red stunner from Donna Karan, but the bottom looks like a bunch of cocktail napkins tacked there with a hasty stitch or two.

Julia Stiles. Love this very feminine silohuette. Lots of pretty draping on the bodice.

Cobie Smulders in a gorgeous teal-y, robin's egg blue chiffon gown with flowing train. So far, my favorite look for the evening.

Jayma Mays in a well... in something I'm pretty sure one of my 1980s Barbies wore. Ooof, this is a hot mess. It's a near antebellum-catastrophe, all that's missing is the hoop.

Jennifer Carpenter channeling Jennifer Lopez, but without the curves and the entourage. It's a little Vegas-y for my taste. I'm not averse to bling, but I dunno. I'm on the fence here.

Christine Baranski. I kinda love this. She looks fab in this daring plunging neckline. The sleeves are constructed in an unexpected way and the collar is a nice touch. It's not your average LBD. Well done.

Joel McHale, who's obviously put getting on the worst dressed list on his agenda for this evening.

Lea Michele, looking fabulous as usual. The back is a draped plunger. The sleeves are origami-esque. Fits like a glove. Exact same color as the red carpet. Lovely.

Christina Hendricks, who should be playing Marilyn Monroe in the upcoming biopic -- not Michelle Williams, but I digress. This color washes her out and I'm not crazy about the fit on top, but with a top like that -- it's always hard to get the fit right.

Cat Deely in Monique Lhullier. Eh. Terrible bag. Beach hair. She looks like she rolled out of bed.

Michelle Forbes. Some might find this boring, but the detail is to die for. The bust line is really flattering, as are the soft rosettes on the skirt. Really lovely.

Juliana Margolies. And we have a contender for WORST DRESSED. On film, this dress is a complete disaster. Trust me when I say a still photo does not do this catastrophe justice. Those jeweled embellishments on the bodice look like the giant teardrops of a sad hobo clown.

Kaley Cuoco. This is a terrible photo of a really adorable dress, which is even cuter from the back. Some might chastise her for doing the red bag and shoes, but I think this is adorably retro -- sue me.

Claire Danes. Ick. That is all.

Jane Krakowski in a silvery ivory number. She always looks fab. Rarely ever gets it wrong.

Naya Rivera in a gorgeously retro formfitting gown. From the hair to the silhouette, she got it right.

Kerry Washington. Great up top, falls apart by the bottom. Did they run out of lining?

Elizabeth Moss in Marchesa, which might actually be one of my favorite dresses of the evening.

Gwyneth Paltrow in Pucci. Yet another contender for WORST DRESSED. WTF is with the midriff? Really? So tacky.

Heidi Klum in Christian Siriano. I had to slam Siriano, but I gotta do it. I just gotta. The effing ruffles on this schmattah look like wilted broccoli. If this walked down the Project Runway, Heidi would tear it a new asshole.

Sofia Vergara in Vera Wang. Gor-ge-ous. Nuff said.

Katie Holmes, who obviously stopped by the Emmy red carpet just after working out at her gym.

Evan Rachel Wood and Kate Winslet. Yawn. They bore me.

The 2011 Emmy Nominees

2011-09-18T17:39:00.001-04:00

The competition is fierce this year.
Here's our two cents, with our picks in pink.

DRAMA

Outstanding Drama Series
Boardwalk Empire
Dexter
Friday Night Lights
Game of Thrones
The Good Wife
Mad Men

Outstanding Actress in a Drama
Kathy Bates, Harry's Law
Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights
Mireille Enos, The Killing
Mariska Hargitay, Law and Order: SVU
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men

Outstanding Supporting Actress in A Drama
Kelly Macdonald, Boardwalk Empire
Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife
Christine Baranski, The Good Wife
Margo Martindale, Justified
Michelle Forbes, The Killing
Christina Hendricks, Mad Men

Outstanding Actor in a Drama
Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
John Hamm, Mad Men
Hugh Laurie, House
Timothy Olyphant, Justified

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama
Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones
Josh Charles, The Good Wife
Alan Cumming, The Good Wife
Walton Goggins, Justified
John Slattery, Mad Men
Andrew Braugher, Men of a Certain Age

COMEDY

Outstanding Comedy Series
Big Bang Theory
Glee
Modern Family
The Office
Parks and Recreation
30 Rock

Outstanding Actress in a Comedy
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Laura Linney, The Big C
Melissa McCarthy, Mike & Molly
Martha Plimpton, Raising Hope
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy
Jane Lynch, Glee
Betty White, Hot In Cleveland
Julie Bowen, Modern Family
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family
Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live
Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock

Outstanding Actor in a Comedy
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Louis C.K., Louie
Steve Carrell, The Office
Johnny Galecki, The Big Bang Theory
Matt LeBlanc, Episodes
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy
Chris Colfer, Glee
Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family
Ed O'Neill, Modern Family
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family
Ty Burrell, Modern Family
Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men

REALITY

Outstanding Reality Show
The Amazing Race
American Idol
Dancing With the Stars
Project Runway
So You Think You Can Dance
Top Chef

Best Host for a Reality Series
Phil Keoghan, Host- The Amazing Race
Ryan Seacrest, Host- American Idol
Tom Bergeron, Host- Dancing with the Stars
Cat Deeley, Host- So You Think You Can Dance
Jeff Probst, Host- Survivor

VARIETY

Outstanding Variety, Comedy Or Musical Series
The Colbert Report
Conan
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
Real Time With Bill Maher
Saturday Night Live

Outstanding Guest Actor In A Comedy
Idris Elba, The Big C
Nathan Lane, Modern Family
Zach Galifianakis, Saturday Night Live
Justin Timberlake, Saturday Night Live
Matt Damon, 30 Rock
Will Arnett, 30 Rock

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Comedy
Kristin Chenoweth, Glee
Dot-Marie Jones, Glee
Gwyneth Paltrow, Glee
Cloris Leachman, Raising Hope
Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live
Elizabeth Banks, 30 Rock

Live Blogging the 2011 EMMY Red Carpet

2011-09-18T17:31:00.000-04:00

Beginning 6pm tonite, J&M will be Live Blogging the Emmy Award Red Carpet. Stay tuned (and keep refreshing)!

The EPIC FAIL of Bad Ideas

2011-08-19T19:41:00.000-04:00

Here's something that shouldn't be happening: Charlie Sheen and ex Brooke Mueller are patching things up -- proving that misery does indeed love company. God help the city of Los Angeles, nay -- the world!

Charlie Sheen's newest goddess? His ex-wife Brooke Mueller! The divorced duo was spotted in L.A. Friday hopping aboard a private jet, and a source tells Us Weekly Sheen, 45, and Mueller, 34, are "thinking of getting back together."... A source tells Us the parents have been "getting counseling and therapy [with] the boys" and Mueller, who has struggled with substance addiction, is "actually responding to treatment." [us]

Run and tell that.

Like buttah...like a big stick of buttah.

2011-08-19T19:35:00.000-04:00

God, I love a cat fight. I'm not proud of it, but I do like a good, juicy morsel of hot gossip now and then. But you knew that already, didn't you?

Well, then you should know this tidbit made my effing day. Anthony Bourdain, acid-tongued chef-turned-author/TV personality and Paula Deen, the self-imposed Queen of Down Home Cooking are having at it tooth and nail as we speak. And let me tell you -- this volley is worth every single sinfully delicious calorie:

Sniped Bourdain to TV Guide: "(She is) the worst, most dangerous person to America. She revels in unholy connections with evil corporations, and she's proud of the fact that her food is f---ing bad for you. I would think twice before telling an already obese nation that it is OK to eat food that is killing us. Plus, her food sucks."

Deen's not going down without a fight. The mayonnaise-loving, down-home cooking Georgia peach responded with an angry statement to Page Six, telling the column: "Anthony Bourdain needs to get a life. You don't have to like my food.... But it's another thing to attack our character. I wake up every morning happy for where I am in life. It's not all about the cooking, but the fact that I can contribute using my influence to help people all over the country. In the last two years, my partners and I have fed more than 10 million hungry people by bringing meat to food banks." She adds, "I have no idea what Anthony has done to contribute besides being irritable."

Humbled but unapologetic, Bourdain tweets: "Resolved: Next time I'm asked (for the millionth time) who the worst cooks on Food Network are, I'll just shut up. Who cares?" [yahoo/omg]

Someone hand me a Mint Julip already, 'cause goodness gracious, I've got the vapors.

Too much Tiger's Blood will do that to a person

2011-08-06T20:15:00.000-04:00

Gotta hand it to CBS and the producers of Two and a Half Men. When scripting Charlie Sheen's big exit from the show, they wanted to make completely certain he couldn't -- ever -- come back. Now, the only way to possibly make that happen (should Charlie ever regain his senses) would be getting the cast to pile into a big ol' time machine or having him return to haunt Jon Cryer as the Ghost of Christmas Past.

Here are some of the gory details of Charlie's funeral:

Charlie Sheen's character on Two And A Half Men will exit the series in a bloody bang. Earlier this week, pictures were released showing a funeral scene, complete with flower arrangements, church pews and one of the iconic bowling shirts worn by Charlie Harper throughout the show. Now new details have emerged revealing Charlie will die a violent death when he is mowed down by a subway trained. Chuck Lorre the show creator reportedly considered several scenarios, including having Charlie drive off a cliff, but he settled on a bloody subway accident. [dailymailuk]

Sorry 'bout that. We effed up.

2011-07-24T22:27:00.001-04:00

In a complete about face to their former statements, Glee producers are now admitting to a PR eff up of epic proportions:

Lea Michele, Cory Monteith and Chris Colfer are not leaving "Glee" after season 3. Contrary to Ryan Murphy's statement that the three regulars are "not going to be back at all" for season 4, executive producer Brad Falchuk said at the Comic Con panel on Sunday, July 24 that "they are not done with the show after this season." [ace showbiz]

Those must have been some very busy agents during the last couple of weeks. And, I'm sure this cost Fox a whole lotta cash they weren't planning on spending. Oh, well. That kinda thing will happen when someone gets diarrhea of the mouth.

Saw it coming, but it doesn't sting any less...

2011-07-23T17:05:00.003-04:00

Amy Winehouse, dead at 27.

Amy Winehouse has been found dead at her home in London. The Back To Black singer was found at the property by emergency services at 3.54pm, and it's believed Winehouse's death was due to a suspected drug overdose. Winehouse was apparently 'beyond help' when paramedics arrived, according to Sky sources. Sources have also claimed Winehouse's death was due to a drug overdose. [daily mail/uk]

No, it's not a surprise, of course. Just a damn shame. More proof, as if we needed any, why drugs suck. For such a young artist, she had a remarkable skill. Taking today's language and topics and blending them with a wall-of-sound '60s vibe -- creating a throwback feel that was truly modern. No one sounded like Amy; no one will.

For all her faults, and we know them well, it cannot be overstated what an amazing talent she was -- and what a terrible loss her untimely death is.

Interesting, and chilling, photo retrospective of artists who all died at 27.

SVU gets up in Arnold's grill

2011-07-20T18:14:00.000-04:00

Oh, this is going to be one very tense hour of TV for Ah-nold. Well, he had it coming. You can't write stories like his. Instead, you gotta "rip them from the headlines." And, that's exactly what Law and Order: SVU plans on doing.

NBC's Special Victims Unit series will air an episode loosely based on the scandal surrounding the disgraced former California governor, including his secret son and the fallout from his extra-marital affair, TVLine.com reports. For the fictional TV take, a charming 50-something philanthropist named Andrew Raines has an affair with a woman close to his family's inner circle -- just like Schwarzenegger did with he and Maria Shriver's former housekeeper, Mildred Barnea. SVU's storyline will also involve the child produced as a result of the affair. When reached by TVLine.com, NBC declined to comment, other than to say that "SVU is fiction." [us weekly]

Set your DVRs now! ;)

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Does WEtv have money to burn?

2011-07-20T18:00:00.000-04:00

Does anyone care if Shannen Doherty gets married -- again? More importantly, is anyone interested in watching a reality show about the planning of said marriage? (Those are rhetorical questions, btw.)

Doherty, 40, will star in her own WEtv reality series about her life with her fiancé, celebrity photographer Kurt Iswarienko, Entertainment Weekly reports. The unscripted show will go behind-the-scenes as the actress plans her big day – from wedding planners to her wedding dress – and renovates her Malibu home. [people]

OMG, I couldn't give less of a shit. There really was nothing better on WE's programming roster than this? I'd rather watch Luke Perry give lifeless readings from Leaves of Grass than sit through this shit. For real.

And, who are we kidding anyway? If she actually makes it to the alter, it will be a miracle. OK, for argument's sake, say she does make it to the alter -- I give this marriage 6 months, tops.

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Will the REAL Kim Kardashian please stand up?

2011-07-20T17:44:00.000-04:00

Normally, this blog has a strict No Kardashian policy. However, there are times when that policy is impossible to enforce. This is one of those times.

Kim Kardashian is suing Old Navy because they aired a commercial with a woman who bears a striking resemblance to the big-butted, no-talent famewhore herself.

Let me repeat that -- not cause it's complicated, but because it's EFFING STUPID: Kim Kardashian is suing Old Navy because an actress who appeared in one of their spots looks like her.

Kim Kardashian is reportedly quite upset over an advertisement for Old Navy (watch below) that she believes intentionally features a look-alike. The socialite and reality TV star, who would probably prefer walking around in the nude to wearing bargain-basement clothing, has filed a lawsuit against the retail chain for unspecified damages. "I’ve worked hard to support the products I’m personally involved with and that I believe in,” Kardashian says in a statement obtained by The Hollywood Reporter. “Kim Kardashian is immediately recognizable, and is known for her look and style. Her identity and persona are valuable. When her intellectual property rights are violated, she intends to enforce them,” adds her intellectual property attorney Gary Hecker. [hollywood reporter]

So, what? Am I to believe that KK owns the copyright, patent and trademark to her look? This poor actress -- who's obviously just trying to make a living by the way -- has the unfortunate albatross of looking like some dopey starfucker hanging around her neck. Now she's gotta be embroiled in this dumb, frivolous lawsuit. Though, it will probably bring her some exposure, so I guess that's a good thing. And, it keeps KK's name in the press, which we know is her main objective above all things.

So, the debate here is whether Old Navy purposefully picked this actress for their commercial to fool people into thinking it was KK. I've seen the commercial. I admit, the resemblance is uncanny. Did I think it was KK? No. Because KK isn't shy about making endorsements and Old Navy probably could have gotten KK for less than they paid the gal in the actual ad. (Bitch loves her face time.)

Here's a side-by-side for comparison:

Eh, what are you gonna do? She is a lawyer's daughter, after all.

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No one messes with the Divine Miss M -- Not even Lady GaGa

2011-07-19T20:46:00.000-04:00

As a performer (especially one like Lady Gaga, who's into shock and awe), you'd have to be living under a rock to not know Bette Midler created the "mermaid in the wheelchair" bit. So, let's assume that when Lady GaGa pulled out her version during a recent performance, she was staging an homage to Queen Bette. Otherwise, if it was a rip-off -- she's got bigger balls than I thought.

Bette Midler was less than impressed when Lady Gaga rolled onto stage in a wheelchair and dressed as a mermaid in a show last week in Australia. "I've been doing singing mermaid in a wheelchair since 1980--You can keep the meat dress and the firecracker t--s," Midler tells Gaga in one of several Tweets. "Mermaid's mine." [people]

You be the judge:

Stuff we could give two shits about...

2011-07-19T20:33:00.002-04:00

To be honest, not even one shit. I'd say approximately half-a-shit.

You can't have just one...

2011-07-19T20:24:00.000-04:00

Right now, I'm struggling between the obvious nutritional drawbacks that exist in a bag of Doritos and eating one cricket, much less handfuls of them. In the Jolie-Pitt household, this is apparently not an issue:

"My boys love to eat crickets. It's their favorite thing," the 36-year-old actress says..."When I first gave it to them . . . I wanted them not to be turned off by something that was of their culture. They ate them like Doritos, and they wouldn't stop," Jolie says of Maddox and Pax, 7. "They brought to-go boxes home and I had to actually ban the cricket eating at a certain point because I was afraid they were going to get sick from too many." Jolie herself has even indulged in the Southeast Asian countries delicacies. "They're good. They're like a potato chip." [us weekly]

Who am I to judge? One man's Cheeto is another man's Gryllus assimilis.

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She's putting on her Louboutins -- and he's just gonna hafta deal with it!

2011-07-19T20:10:00.002-04:00

Details are emerging regarding the split heard 'round the world. For those of you who thought JLo had the upper hand in the relationship, apparently that wasn't the case. According to some reports, Mark Anthony was a big ol' control freak -- even when it came to what JLo was wearing.

Ever since the couple tied the knot seven years ago, the Latin crooner strove to curtail his wife's famous style choices. "He would make her feel terrible about herself if she wanted to wear something sexy," says another source. "He likes her to dress in a demure, 'wife' style. He hated the fact that she was a sex symbol." [us weekly]

Well, one thing for sure -- he had good taste. His being a dbag aside, I do think JLo's wardrobe was far nicer during her marriage. I guess her choice of attire to meet the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge on their American tour was her way of bringing tacky back and a huge FU to her soon-to-be ex hubby:

Will I be watching?

2011-07-18T20:30:00.000-04:00

That's a big FAT yes.

Yes! Ricky Gervais, the creator of The Office and Extras is teaming up with former Dexter showrunner, Clyde Phillips, for a new show called Afterlife, about an atheist who dies and goes to heaven. [ew]

Love him or hate him, who better than Gervais, a self-described atheist, to pen such a plot? This is sure to be equal parts thought-provoking and hilarious. Cannot wait for it to materialize.

#he'sback @thethingthatwon'tgoaway

2011-07-18T20:19:00.003-04:00

Just when you thought Charlie Sheen's latest 15 minutes of fame were up and it was safe to come out of hiding -- BAM! He's baaaaaaack. He's producing his own sitcom and found a distributor. Guess misery really does love company. I think it's pretty safe to say this will be a #hugefriggindisaster.

Charlie Sheen is developing a pilot for the small screen: Anger Management, a sitcom based on the 2003 movie starring Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler. "I chose Anger Management because, while it might be a big stretch for me to play a guy with serious anger management issues, I think it is a great concept," Sheen said in a statement...."It also provides me with real ownership in the series, a certain amount of creative control and the chance to be back in business with one of my favorite movie producers of all time, Joe Roth," Sheen says....Lionsgate's Debmar-Mercury will distribute the new series. [USA TODAY]

Splitsville

2011-07-15T23:35:00.001-04:00

Gotta admit, didn't see this one coming. Especially when as far as anyone could tell they seemed like an inseparable power couple. Always showing up at each other's events, supportive of each other's careers, close-knit family... Now comes this news:

After seven years of marriage, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have split, their rep tells Us Weekly." We have decided to end our marriage. This was a very difficult decision. We have come to an amicable conclusion on all matters," they said in a statement. "It is a painful time for all involved, and we appreciate the respect of our privacy at this time." [us weekly]

Oh well.

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ahhh, what a breath of fresh air.

2011-07-15T09:03:00.001-04:00

Finally, the tide is turning.

She's been around for years, but if you saw Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids, then you know she stole the show -- which is no easy task considering how phenomenal Kristen Wiig is in everything she does.

...the voters at the Television Academy of Arts and Sciences who spread the love in their Primetime Emmy Award nominations on Thursday to a slew of actors who smash the stereotype of wafer-thin blondes and tall, dark handsome men. Few nominees were more surprised than plus-sized actress Melissa McCarthy, who scored her first Emmy nod for her lead role in "Mike & Molly" -- a romantic comedy about two people who meet at an Overeaters Anonymous group. "Yikes", gulped McCarthy, 40, who was announcing the nominees live on U.S. television when her own name came up. "Ok. Keep it together! Wow!" she added. The Emmy nod is icing on the Hollywood cake for McCarthy, whose show was initially criticized for making fun of fat people but went on to become one of the most popular new comedies on U.S. television. McCarthy, who has labored for years in bit parts, is also a scene-stealer in the raunchy summer hit movie "Bridesmaids". [reuters]

Congrats to Melissa! Let's hope this trend continues...

Melissa McCarthy learns she's just been nominated for an Emmy.

Ouch, that's gotta hurt: Part Deux

2011-07-15T07:56:00.002-04:00

Whoa. I repeat: WHOA! Looks like Chris Colfer and Cory Monteith have more in common than just being stars of the hit TV show Glee. They both found out they were canned, not by their bosses -- no, cause that would be the usual way of doing things -- but in another way altogether.

In Colfer's case, his bomb was dropped on Twitter. (What's the hashtag for that? Must have looked something like this: @ChrisColfer Don't bother coming 2 wrk on Mon. Nice knowin' ya! #you'recanned.)

For Monteith, it seems the deed was done via Hollywood Reporter:

Only the most sadistic manager would ever look forward to telling an employee that he is about to be out of a job, but virtually all managers recognize that, uncomfortable though it is, they have to deliver the news to the redundant staffer face-to-face. However, "Glee" creator Ryan Murphy went a different way with series star Cory Monteith: The readers of The Hollywood Reporter found out that Monteith wouldn't be back for "Glee" Season 4 before Monteith himself did...."Murphy acknowledged that while he hasn't discussed graduation plans with Monteith yet, he presumes he's aware that Finn will be among those graduating." ...Murphy on Monteith: "He knows he was a sophomore when the show started." [yahoo]

So, now all that's left to figure out is how Lea Michele was notified. (I'm thinking she probably heard it from Guilliana Rancic who heard it from Ryan Seacrest who heard it from Joel McHale.) Methinks morale on the set this season is gonna be awfully low.

Way to go Fox and producers of Glee. You're both class acts, 100%. Fabulous way to treat the stars who made your TV show a hit. No, no. Keep raking in the cash and enjoying the ratings. Don't let a little thing like being total douchebags bother you none. *pats on the back* Sleep well tonight knowing you have no idea how to handle matters such as this in a professional, humane manner. Well done! *thumbs up* #assholes

Ouch, that's gotta hurt.

2011-07-14T19:42:00.001-04:00

Getting the old pink slip is never easy. But, of all the ways to be laid off, finding out via Twitter has to take the cake.

Chris Colfer "says he learned of Kurt Hummel's fate – Glee's co-creator Ryan Murphy announced several principal actors would be "graduating" – only recently via Twitter. "I didn't necessarily know that it was going to be our last season next year," he tells Access Hollywood. "I knew something like that was coming up eventually. I mean, we can't be there forever." [people]

Dang. Well, at least he won the Golden Globe.

This again?

2011-07-13T21:57:00.000-04:00

Must be a slow news week, 'cause Us Weekly's pulling out the Wed Card again. If Brangelina (anyone still calling them that?) do actually get married, I'll eat my words. But this ain't happenin' people. Nope. Yes, yes... there have been little tidbits hinted at here and there ("the kids want them to get married"), but I still don't buy it. Do you? [Sound off in the poll to the right.]

Us Weekly has reported this news, which naturally is shared in much more detail in print since it’s the magazine’s cover story this week. The report says that three sources — none of them named, of course — have confirmed that the couple plans to marry either later this summer or in September, and may do so at their chateau in France. Reps for Pitt and Jolie have not commented on all this; I reached out to one myself and have not received a response yet. [wp]

Awwwwwkward.

2011-07-13T21:36:00.000-04:00

So, Miranda Kerr (aka Mrs. Orlando Bloom) admits to having named her child after her late ex-boyfriend. Now, THAT had to be one uncomfortable conversation. She says Orlando's cool with it. Maybe so, but you know one day it's just gonna hit him and he's gonna be like: Wait, whoa...That was kinda effed up!

...there’s another special man who Flynn — full name: Flynn Christopher Blanchard Copeland Bloom — takes after: Kerr’s high school sweetheart, Christopher Middlebrook, who died in a car accident when he was a teenager. “Chris and I had been dating for two years,” she says. “After he died, I wrote him a letter that said I hoped to name my first child after him in some way. I told Orlando, and he was the one who said he’d be happy to do that. Orlando’s a good guy.” [People]

...and together they will take over the world.

2011-07-13T21:30:00.000-04:00

If they breed, God help us all. Why? Well, have you seen a more gorgeous gene pool in all of your life? I don't think it exists, frankly. And, it's just not fair to humanity. It's too much pressure to contend with. We average-looking, just-passing-muster people can't compete with that.

A source tells the new issue of Us Weekly (out Wednesday) that the Green Lantern star [Ryan Reynolds], 34, and Charlize Theron, 35, "have been dating -- for months! They're exclusive, and it's very hush-hush." While the two haven't been photographed together, a witness noticed Reynolds' motorcycle at Theron's home all morning on June 5, then saw the actor exit her house around 3 p.m. -- and she left just minutes later.

BAFTA Brits to Watch Gala

2011-07-11T15:38:00.000-04:00

So, let me get this straight -- the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge make their very first trip to America and this is the best JLo and Dana Delaney could manage to pull out of their closets? Hmm? I know two stylists who will be fired faster than you can say: Cheerio!

In case you've forgotten how to show up looking glam at a Hollywood event, this is how you do it:


Princess Catherine in Alexander McQueen

Seven Costanza

2011-07-11T15:23:00.003-04:00

David and Victoria Beckham named their new child "Harper Seven." Why? Well, supposedly:

Harper is an old English name that Victoria has always loved, PEOPLE has learned, and seven is considered a very lucky spiritual number.

And now, proving there is a Seinfeld reference for EVERYTHING in life, I give you: Seven Costanza.

By George!

2011-06-22T18:28:00.000-04:00

Today started like any other day... until Melissa sent word:

George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis Splitsville!

Like music to my ears. A sweet serenade to the tune of schadenfreude. I imagined her packing her bags, tears in her eyes and waving a sad ciao to George, then speeding away on her vespa -- after which he breathed a deep sigh of relief.

Gotta hand it to her -- two whole years. Not a bad run. But, this chippy put a nail in her coffin when she spilled it to an Italian magazine that she knew one day she'd be married. EPIC FAIL. Everyone -- and I mean EV-ER-Y-ONE knows you do NOT mention the M word around George "I Invented the Term Bachelor" Clooney. This is the kiss of death for any Clooney bedfellow. You can be sure as shit if that was me, I'd exclude all M words from my vocabulary on the off chance I might accidentally slip and say the actual M word and blow it. Shit...I know a good thing when I see it. I'm no dummy.

Now, where did I leave my passport... I have a flight to book. Lake Como's lovely in summer.

Can you Cannes Cannes? Fashion Report

2011-05-21T18:15:00.000-04:00

The celebs are flooding Cannes -- hocking their latest projects and flaunting their latest looks. And some of those looks, shall we say, are hard to look at. Case in point:

Brooke Shield in Roberto Cavalli: That's one super-expensive muumuu.

Gwen Stefani in Giorgio Armani: Not one bow, but two -- and that awkward cut-out just makes for a cheapened look.

Penelope Cruz in Marchesa. This gown is having an identity crisis. Am I shear? Am I beaded? Amy I sexy? Am I tacky? Obviously this is from Marchesa's "Sybil" line.

Kirsten Dunst in Haute Couture Chanel. Dreadful. And you know if cost an arm and a leg.

Milla Jovavich in Prada. Now this is just stupid. I can see where they're going -- with the 20s/flapper inspiration -- but this all amounts to an EPIC FAIL.

Paz Vega in Azzaro. Nothing is dumber than a jumpsuit than a jumpsuit that cinches at the ankles. If you wanna look like an asshole, here's all the instruction you'll ever need.

Selma Hayek in Gucci. Is that plastic? No really -- is that plastic? Not OK.

Sarah Jessica Parker in Elie Saab. OK, who slipped Elie Saab a ruffie and stole his sketch pad to craft this fashion disaster? I want names.

Angelina Jolie in Versace. This is clearly not a fashion disaster, I'm just so surprised she's not wearing something boring or black. FINALLY.

Zoe Saldana in Vionnet. Boy, muumuu's are big on the red carpet this season. Better tell mom she's en vogue!

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The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Gala 2011

2011-05-03T21:51:00.000-04:00

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Gala went off last night like a hot mess. Some background:

"The theme for Monday night's event was "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" to coincide with an elaborate new museum exhibition that highlights the work of the late designer, who committed suicide in February 2010 at age 40."

OK, to be honest, most of the gown were to die for. However, some of the gowns were deliciously dreadful -- and that's where we come in. Feast your eyes on these crimes of fashion.

Beyonce in Pucci
Can she move? No, seriously. She's trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey. I think her circulation is cut off. It's safe to assume the only blood moving in her body is in her ankles and wrists. But, thank God, she was wise enough to give her breasts some breathing room. Priorities, you know.

Frieda Pinto in Chanel (Haute Couture)
I love Haute Couture. It's French for "Sucker." So, was she coming to the gala straight from her board meeting and neglected to remove the tie while hoofing it down 5th Avenue? Is that what happened? Cause that's the only excuse.

Jennifer Hudson in Vera Wang
Jen, Jen, Jen. You're covering up the Weight Watchers' endorsement here. Poorly done! Not to mention this dress is clearly from Vera Wang's Bridesmaid-On-the-Prairie collection. Really? This was the dress to choose? Out of all the available dresses? This? Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

Jennifer Lopez in Gucci
Now, did she get caught in a rose bush? Or is that a shrug of some kind? Who knows, maybe she stopped off at Michael's or A.C. Moore on the way -- saw it and just hadda have it! In any case: FAIL. Ditch that shawl-castrophe, and you got a gorgeous dress.

Miranda Kerr in Marchesa
Oh, honey, you're not a fucking ballerina and stop trying pull this off. Dress your age, not your shoe size, mama. And speaking of shoes, are those sneaker heels? Cause that's not OK. Stop it.

MaryKate Olson in Givenchy
It's not a MET Gala without this batshit insane broad. This time, she's raided Mrs. Roeper's closet and is heading to the Regal Beagle post-event. No doubt, she's gonna hook up with Larry -- then drunk dial Jack after, crying in her beer.

Naomi Campbell in Alexander McQueen
Naomi, dear, we're trying to "honor" his memory -- not remind everyone of his terrible mistakes. I should probably hold my tongue. She probably has a cell phone in that bag and is more than likely to beat me with it.

Rihanna in Stella McCartney
Excepting the fact that the dress has some obvious structural issues and could be at any moment subject to a wardrobe malfunction, it's not the worst thing I've seen Rihanna in. That being said, I hope she gets the part in the live-action adaptation of Pippi Longstocking. I'm really rooting for her.

Taylor Swift in Mendel
Why the long face, honey? Could it be because the bottom of your dress got caught up in your roto-tiller? That's OK, Jake will kiss and make it bett--oh, wait. Never mind.

Christina Ricci in Zac Posen
Gotta love Posen. He's the most accessible designer who's allowed to go batwing-balls insane and everyone just accepts it. This is NOT a dress. This is a CONTRAPTION meant to ensnare the wearer. Sometimes, I picture Zac, hovering over his design board cackling like an evil genius. Cause he knows, whatever shit he cooks up -- they're wearin' it. Case closed.

One last observation of the night...
Nice try Seacrest, but standing on the top step isn't fooling anyone.

Until next year... Fashion wisely, people.

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Hats Off! The Royal Wedding Headgear Breakdown.

2011-05-01T13:04:00.002-04:00

Let's talk, shall we, about the glorious English tradition of millinery -- or, more commonly referred to as: crazy-ass hat making. The Royal Wedding brought out some of the best-of-the-best (and the worst-of-the-worst) in "fashionable" fascinators.

(Click to enlarge.)

Where to begin? Oh, yes -- with Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice (aka the ugly stepsisters -- yeah, i said it). Holy effing crap: is Philip Treacy on crack? That thing on Beatrice's head looks like something from the set of Aliens about to attack every royal in the abbey. OK, I get it, you want to make a statement. Fine. But, statement aside, when you have to crouch over in the car the entire way to your destination, something's gone seriously wrong with your fashion sense. (Listen up Lady GaGa.) I think I said it best when I said (and I did, me, I said it): "She is so desperate to get married but she is wearing an I.U.D. on her head. The hat is like she's trying to make funnel cakes." --Joan Rivers

(Click to enlarge.)

Who's next? Oh, yes. Posh. Ms. Victoria Beckham: wearing a self-designed schmatta to cover her baby bump, yet still sporting 9-inch heels ('cause that's safe). Posh sported a frontal headpiece with two long shards of stiffened reeds threatening to poke out any onlookers' eyes. Overall, the outfit should have been condemned for reasons of public safety.

(Click to enlarge.)

Oh, you have to love a socialite with an alleged drug problem. The rumor here being that Tara Parker Tomlinson needs a nose job because of her coke problem, hence the attempt to draw attention STRAIGHT TO HER NOSE with a truly and utterly ridiculous hat. Or, maybe she did a line or two the morning of and forgot that hats are supposed to rest on the scalp and not the forehead. Who knows?

(Click to enlarge.)

This brings us to the rat's nest of a situation that is Chelsy Davy, Prince Harry's gal. First, she looks like she's doing the walk of shame. I'm sorry, does she not own a comb? And considering all the magnificent fascinators she could have chosen, there is NOTHING fascinating about this choice. Ooof, and they call her a socialite? Damn, I look better on the first day of my period than she did attending the royal wedding -- and believe me, that's saying something.

(Click to enlarge.)

But, aside from all the hats that bordered on fashion injustice -- the greatest injustice of all was NOT wearing a hat at all. GASP! Yes, the Prime Minister's wife showed up sans hat. Now, I mean this with all due respect, but -- when the invite expressly says that "ladies are to wear hats," bitch, you best be showing up in an effing hat. That is all.

Cheers to the Royal Couple

2011-04-30T18:50:00.001-04:00

From beginning to end, yesterday's Royal Wedding was pure and utter perfection. It was equal parts pomp and circumstance and demure understated elegance (well, as understated as royal weddings can be, that is).

Kate (now officially the Duchess of Cambridge) arrived at Westminster Abbey by car, as a commoner, and left by carriage with her prince, a royal. Every possible detail of yesterday's nuptials was a delight to take in -- from the tree-lined majestic aisle of the historical Abbey to the timeless elegance of the Alexander McQueen gown.

So many moments to touch on. The dress. Sigh -- what a masterpiece. What a smart choice -- because this gown will hold up over time. In 50 years, this gown will still be relevant (unlike Lady Diana's, for instance, which very much typifies 80s style). And, it's also a nice nod of respect to one of England's best designers, whom we lost so tragically.

That procession to Buckingham Palace -- a true fairytale moment. Followed by not one, but two kisses on the palace balcony. But what had to be my favorite moment of the entire day, when Wills and Kate left Buckingham Palace in his Aston Martin (all decked out thanks to brother Harry) and made their way to Clarence House for a bit of rest and a costume change before the evening's reception. Delightful.

Cheers to the happy couple!

Live Blogging the OSCARS 2011 Red Carpet

2011-02-27T18:15:00.024-05:00

It's the big night... and they're starting to arrive. Let's get to it!

Jennifer Lawrence. Yawn... in Calvin Klein. Booooorring.

Melissa Leo. Ehhhhhhhhhh. Not thrilled. And she's going to win in this. I might have chosen something else if I were her.

Hailee Steinfeld in Marchesa. Very retro. Very pretty. Such an improvement.

Mila Kunis in Elie Saab. Lookin' good in pale lavender. She is spilling out a little too much. Hope there's no wardrobe malfunction.

Anne Hathaway. That red floral bump on the side is unfortunate.

Michelle Williams in Chanel. Eh... So far, I'm not wowed. how boringggggg is michelle williams? so boring. sooooooo boring. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........

Amy Adams in L'Wren Scott. It's a great color. I wouldn't have done the necklace on top of all that bead work. Otherwise, home run!

Jennifer Hudson in a tangerine Versace gown. Really very pretty, if a little too low cut.

Javiar showed up with Penelope. who, of course, doesn't even look like she gave birf a month ago. Penelope's dress is Miss America material. or it looks like something sofia vegara (or whatever her name is from Modern Family) would wear.

same with celine dion, who pushed out twin pups like 3 months ago. WTFFFFFFFFFFFF? hey, it's celine and her grandpa. i mean, her husband.

Nicole Kidman snatched the runner off the table at the hotel and draped it around her. awful.

Scarlett looks like something the cat dragged in.

mila is my fave dressed, so far.

marisa tomei may tie nicole kidman as my worst dressed.

gwennie looks great. love that silver dress. she looks like a futuristic column.

is it weird that guiliana isn't interviewing celebs and only ryan is? you'd think with the number of celebs turning out for this thing, they would need both of them doing it.

kelly osbourne is useless.

russell brand showed up sans katy perry and with his mom. like joan told me.... perhaps the rumors of trouble in paradise are true?

halle berry is gorgeous and never ages, but i'm sooooo bored of her as well.

cate blancett looks like a space cadet who was painting the ceiling of her space ship yellow when some paint dripped on her shoulders. and that circular cutout in front of the dress is just plain odd.

natalie portman showed up. she's played this award season well -- timing her pregnancy with all of the hoopla that the movie has gotten. people don't love anything more than a knocked up hollywood darling making all the rounds and appearances with an out-to-there bump. well played, natalie. well played. good dress too.

Sandra Bullock. Missing what would have been her best accessory... Ryan Reynolds.

BAFTA Red Carpet Highlights

2011-02-14T16:40:00.000-05:00

It's the Brits' turn. The big winner at this year's BAFTAs was The Kings Speech (surprise!). Now let's look at the important stuff -- what they wore:

Jessica Alba -- looking gorg in this shade of blue. Really suits her.

Annette Benning. After her Golden Globes mishap, she turned it around and has been looking fab.

Emma Watson -- love everything, except the boy hair. GROW IT OUT!

Emma Stone. Much, much better than the SAGs. Well done.

Helena Bonham Carter. Oh, I get it. You can dress normal in your neck of the woods, but here it's a free for all.

Julianne Moore. Velvet... eh.... not loving it.

Thandie Newton. Love this. Bold color and print. Lovely lines. She always looks good.

Amy Adams. Aside from some fitting issues, the dress is lovely and she looks great.

Live Blogging the GRAMMY Awards 2011 Red Carpet

2011-02-13T18:07:00.011-05:00

OK. Let's get ready for the freak show...

...and God created GaGa. Yes, she's in there. And, has officially run out of ways to "arrive." So many jokes. Let's break this down:

Which came first? The Gaga or the Egg?
The only GRAMMY nominee to arrive by U-Haul instead of limo or Prius.
Do I smell latex? Yes, those are definitely latex hotpants I'm smelling.
"Centurians!? Do I have any openings that this man might fit?"
The working title for this Red Carpet arrival? Jurassic Fart.

OK. That's enough...

I lied... It's not enough.

Well, that's a relief. I'm glad they punched a hole in that thing so doesn't suffocate. But that's gotta be one sweaty bitch up in there.

Kelly Osbourne. LOVE THIS. Love, love, love THIS. It's so early to call it -- but this may be my Best Dressed.

RED CARPET OBSERVATION: Why? Why the fuck is the cast of Jersey Shore invited to this shit? Are they recording artists? No -- they're talentless hacks sucking the life out of the creative industry and mooching off of fame. GO AWAY.

OK -- so, the deal with GAGA is that she's in "creative incubation" and won't be released from the egg until her performance. I say, crack this bitch open and scramble it up already.

Miranda Lambert. Looking pretty darn awesome.

Nikki Minaj. Bride of Frankenstein meets Open Season.

Florence Welch. Love this. It's so very Tori Amos. If you look closely, it's two swans.

Ciara. NO! NO, NO NO NO.

Crystal Bowersox. She cleans up. Who knew?

Janelle Monae: GET A NEW LOOK! This one's had it.

Jewel. Yawn. Yeah, I know she's preggars, but she really phoned it in tonight.

Kathy Griffin. Can't believe she's 50! Wow! Rockin' it.

Matthew Morrison. Sigh. Admitted. I'm a Gleek. And, I wanna be on him.

Monica. Kelly Osbourne has competition for Best Dressed. She looks AMAZING. This dress is incredible.

Anna Nalik. Very retro, which would be lovely -- except her eye makeup is scaring the crap out of me.

Eva Longoria. Now just why the fuck is she there? Hey, Eva -- not for nothing, but it's OK to stay home from one red carpet once in a while. Especially the ones you have not a fucking thing to do with.

Jennifer Hudson. Looking great. But the dress is a little boring.

John Mayer. Look what the cat dragged in. Wah, nobody loves me. Wah, I can't find someone to love. Eh, put a sock in it.

K-Cup. Ugh. Again, why are people who have nothing to do with the industry there??? Is she a recording artist? NO. Is she a waste of space? YES.

Lenny Kravitz. Holy shit, Lenny. Are you trying out for the next installment in the Mad Max series? If so, you're a shoe-in.

Leann Rimes. Ladies, lock up your husbands! Yeah, I said it and I'll say it again.

Mya. This may not look great here, but on camera -- fab.

Natasha Beddingfield. The hair has got to go. And, wherever you take it, also bring the dress.

Ricky Martin. In liquid-silver jeggings. I think I just died inside.

Greg Giraldo Memorial Benefit: A Night of Laughs and Memories

2011-02-10T20:12:00.000-05:00

Greg Giraldo Memorial Benefit:

Beacon Theater, NYC.

2/9/11

Ten notable comics gathered last night to honor the memory of their fellow comic and friend, the late Greg Giraldo. When "Melissa" informed me of this event, I couldn't buy tickets fast enough. And I'm sure glad I did.

The memorial was hosted by The Marriage Ref host Tom Papa -- who killed while transitioning between comics with his own brand of nonchalant humor. On the bill were comics representing almost every stage of Greg's professional and personal life -- from his opening act and roast writer Jesse Joyce to the headliner and comedy legend, Jerry Seinfeld.

The lineup:

Highlights included a solid and hilarious hard-hitting set from Ted Alexandro. If you haven't seen his stuff -- you simply must check him out. And, what's an all-star comedy fest without the brand of uncomfortable and angry comedy only the likes of Jim Norton, Dave Attell and Lewis Black can bring? But the cream of the crop had to be, without a doubt, Jerry Seinfeld. His set consisted of entirely new material, proving he hasn't lost his edge for observational humor and keen standup ability -- even though he rarely tours anymore.

A great night. A great cause. All for a great comic who will sincerely be missed. RIP Greg.

Live Blogging the SAG Awards 2011 Red Carpet

2011-01-30T18:45:00.015-05:00

All right, let's not waste any time and get right down to it...

Angie Harmon. A bit too cream puffy. A bit much...

Jenna Ushkowitz. Love the dress, but the color may be too pale to appreciate the details.

Hailee Steinfeld. In Prada. OK. She's a kid, so I'm gonna give her a break. But -- if this dress were on an adult, it would be fair friggin' game, people.

Jane Krakowski. In Badgley Mischka. Lookin' good for her 3rd trimester. Would have dug a colored shoe instead of the pale ones. But, overall -- well done.

Amber Riley. Too much dress. And way too much going on at the bottom. Yet, she's workin' it.

Hot in Cleveland Cast: Valerie Bertinelli, Wendy Malik, and Jane Leeves. (Where's Betty?) All of these broads look great. Hands down.

Edie Falco. Apparently, she just saw it hanging in the window and had to have it. Ooof. I don't know whether to hang a valance on her or rest a drink on her. Bad.

Julie Bowen. In a jump suit. Ah, NO. NO NO NO NO. Just NO. OK? OK.

Mila Kunis. In Alexander McQueen. The first of a few prints showing up on the carpet. I know some people aren't going to like this look -- but she's always getting it right lately. I think it's styled really well and gutsy.

Eva Longoria. Ugh. She did so well at the Golden Globes. Probably my Best Dressed. Now -- what a couple of weeks can do. It's like she escaped the Temple of Dendur. That loose-fitting top portion is even worse from the side. Trust me. Ooof.

Sofia Vegara. Love the color. It opens in the front to a shorter skirt, which I've never been a real fan of. But, she happens to look great -- when normally, she just looks slutty.

Julianna Margolies. I know this is just a simple red dress, but it's one of my favorite looks of the night. She's just doing it so well.

Lea Michele. A bit too low cut, but still stunning. She usually hits the mark. One of my new faves to look for on the red carpet.

Claire Danes. Not liking this, even a little bit.

Winona Effing Ryder. Um... Did she think she was going to prom? And what's with the black bag? OMG. I just can't.

Kyra Sedgewick. It's nice. But I'm not jumping up and down for joy. Next!

Hilary Swank. LOVE THIS. Love the lines, love the Grecian-inspired details. I even love the color and her styling -- even though everything is muted. Much better on camera than in still photo. Believe me.

Kim Kardashian. Oh, I'm sorry -- does having a sex tape and a piss poor reality show now qualify for a SAG card? Why the fuck is she there? Seriously. Someone hose down the red carpet -- it's been skanked.

Helena Bonham Carter and Natalie Portman. Someone read Helena the riot act after the Golden Globes debacle (see previous post). And Natalie is defying the laws of baby bump physics in this satin number.

January Jones. In Carolina Hererra. I like the lace effect -- but this might have been prettier as a fuller or even a-line dress. Something's off.

Julie Stiles. Looks as if she were dipped in bleach.

Amy Adams. Looks as if she's a wrapped mummy or a Johnsonville Brat.

Christina Hendricks. Not her usual style, but it's OK. Much prettier on camera than in stills.

Tina Fey. Yay! She got it right! I don't care what anyone else says!!! She looks awesome.

Live Blogging the Golden Globes 2011 Red Carpet

2011-01-16T18:11:00.021-05:00

You know the drill... let's jump right in:

Kelly Osbourne. I like the lines of this dress and it fits her well, but I find that streak rather distracting.

Olivia Wilde. Too much dress. Nice celestial-like details, however.

Jennifer Love Hewitt. NEEDS TO SIMMAH DOWN NOW. The hair, the color... the dress. Girl, this is the Golden Globes, not Miss America. NEXT!

Katie Lee (formerly Joel). Not even sure why she's here or warrants a run down the red carpet. But... she might have consulted a stylist instead of Mrs. Roeper. I blame Larry for this.

Julie Stiles. Yawn. The top is nice. But seriously, is she THE most boring person on the planet?

RED CARPET OBSERVATION: Darren Aronofsky really needs to lose the pornstache.

Oh, look. It's Rupert Murdoch and his nurse...er...wife.

RED CARPET OBSERVATION: Jake G. just showed up. He appears to be riding solo. AND Helena Bonham Carter is clearly on crack -- she's wearing two different shoes. I just... there ARE no words.

Julianne Hough, aka Ryan Seacrest's beard. The neckline's a bit much and the dress is a tad old for her.

Helena Bonham Carter. One can only assume the level of dementia that goes into creating an ensemble such as this one. Brava, my dear! Brava!!!!

Julie Bowen. The color may be too muted, but the details are gorg.

Eva Longhoria (formerly Parker, now removing the tattoo both literally and figuratively). Love the neckline callback to 40s screen queens and the broach on the waist.

Lea Michele. A little too cream puffy, but still pretty.

Natalie Portman. Everyone's saying how nice she looks. I think she looks like a reject from that episode of I Love Lucy. She's showing quite a bit! Apparently someone was keeping that secret well kept for a long time....

Emma Stone. Proof that Hollywood can ruin a good thing. She never should have gone blonde. And this Calvin Klein schmatta is just a drag. Boo.

January Jones. Welp, she's my contender for Worst Dressed (not counting Carter). This looks like a poor attempt at light bondage. Ooof.

Scarlett "Thank the good Lord she's freed Ryan Reynolds from her grasp" Johannsen. You can't appreciate this based on the photo -- but I assure you, she looks quite mad. The hair alone is a little Bride of Frankenstein. And the dress is too pale to appreciate the detail.

Julianne Moore. Oh for crying out loud, she should just never leave the damned house. She can't be trusted. Her dress is having a personality crisis -- and apparently her stylist is having one, too.

Nicole Kidman. Look, we know you're tall. Stop making it so obvious. Oh, and the dress...BOOORRRRRRINGGGGGG.

Mila Kunis (who's now officially Home Alone -- ha ha ha ha. Oh, that was corny). Lovely in this jewel tone emerald green... looks especially great w/her black hair.

Catherine Zeta Jones. In Monique Luhillier. Lots of green tonight. Just spied Angelina Jolie in green as well -- SHOCKING.

Jane Krakowski. Showing off her baby bump. Those are some high-ass heels for 2nd trimester, mama.

Angelina Jolie. I'm stunned. Not because it's a special dress or she looks all that special. But because she's actually wearing something other than white or black.

Sandra Bullock. Realllllly hating the bangs.

Christina Aguilerra. Hot mess. Case closed.

RIP GG

2010-09-30T15:47:00.001-04:00

Joan and Melissa's Red Carpet Rundown: Emmy’s 2010

2010-08-31T19:15:00.005-04:00

Joan: So, Melis. Another one under our belts – in this our 5th year of blogging the biz. Let’s say we waste no time and get straight to the point. BEST DRESSED! My favorite…

Anna Paquin in
Alexander McQueen

Melissa: I loved Anna Paquin’s McQueen creation. It looked like armor and she’s just bad-assy enough to carry it off. I did also like January Jones’ dress, which everyone hated, but it was interesting. I want to feel it, it looks like plastic but I want to see it up close. Those tiny pleats are intriguing. I loved Lea Michele’s navy blue gown. Totally gorgeous. And Claire Danes’ gold sequined gown was to die for.

Lea Michelle in
Oscar de la Renta

Julia Ormond

Joan: A lot of people didn’t like Anna’s dress, but out of a pretty boring red carpet and a sea of navy blue, hers stood out. I think Lea Michelle and Jane Lynch were my favorites of the night. And possibly Julia Ormond, even though her hair needed a good brushing. Now, on to WORST DRESSED…

January Jones
in Versace

Christina Hendricks
in Zac Posen

Melissa: Lauren Graham looked pretty unfortunate. Christina Hendricks has to be my worst dressed by a mile though. Horrible style, the feathers were awful, it looked very matronly. And she’s a bombshell, I mean, she can rock anything. And she ended up looking like an old lady in a bad, bad dress.

Lauren Graham

Joan: My God, the feathers… I can’t believe Zac Posen had anything to do with that awful dress. The only thing good about it was the color. That being said, I think Lauren Graham looked worse, with that bib of a dress. It was awful coming and going.

So, that about sums it up. Another day, another Emmy red carpet to snark on. Always a pleasure, Melissa, my dear.

Live Blogging the Emmy's 2010 Red Carpet

2010-08-29T18:03:00.017-04:00

Your favorite TV stars are hitting the red carpet... Let's see who's looking fabulous and who should have stayed home...

Angela Kinsey looking fab in a black lace strapless number.

Tonight's host, Jimmy Fallon, with his wife. Looks like Jimmy's into plus-sized ladies, and that's making me quite happy. Go Jimmy...

TIP IT! Our favorite redhead has arrived with her mom in tow.

The first of the LOST cast arrives, with some TRUE BLOOD.

DESMOND! How are ya, brothah? Let's hope this is a good night for LOST. It is, after all, their last chance.

Observation: I blame Ryan Seacrest for The Kardashians. I hope he's happy he's ruined E! for everyone.

Well, this is a hot mess. Lauren Graham... Just. Bad.

A contender for Worst Dressed... this chick from True Blood.

Jane Lynch looks stunning. So far, she's my Best Dressed.

Ahh, Dr. Carlisle Cullen, Mr. Peter Facinelli himself -- it's been ages darling! Looking fabulous as usual.

Ladies and gentlemen, the party has officially started: Tracy Morgan is in the house.

Julia Ormond, in what may be one of my favorite dresses tonight.

Observation: Who the frig is watching Kate Gosselin's kids?

Emily Deschenel. Love the color. Not sure about the dress....

Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt. Fab couple.

Tina Fey... I like it. Others may not. But I dig it.

Lea Michelle in Oscar de la Renta. Lovely. (But stop losing weight!!!)

Kyra Sedgwick in Monique Luhullier. Lovely. Finally, something not navy blue.

Anna Paquin in Alexander McQueen. Nice.

WTF was America thinking???

2010-03-12T13:14:00.002-05:00

So disappointing.

Now, at least another week of listening to Tim (Mophead), Aaron (Stringbean), and Paige.

J & M's Oscars Fashion Rundown

2010-03-09T15:29:00.007-05:00

Well, Melissa. Yet another Academy Awards under our belts. Last night there was a clear divide between best and worst dressed. The good, the bad and the frightfully ugly reared their heads. So, let's get to it and tear them new a-holes, shall we?

Joan and Melissa’s Best Dressed: Oscars 2010

Joan: I'm having a hard time narrowing down this category, so I'm going to cheat a little and mention my faves of the evening. In the shimmering/glimmering category, we have JLo, Amanda Seyfried, Cameron Diaz, and Sandra Bullock. (You know how hard it is for me to say Cameron Diaz looks good in anything, since she’s usually a total disaster, but last night she classed it up and proved her red carpet potential in spades. Lovely.) And I just love the detail on JLo’s and Seyfried’s gowns. I’d bet they’re the same designer, from the same line. If not – copycat, tsk tsk tsk. Last, I loved Sandra Bullock’s gown the more I looked at it last night. It was the perfect gown for her to win the Oscar in. She definitely improved since prior events, and doesn’t need to fire her stylist. Lucky him/her.

Melissa: My best dressed were Demi Moore and Maggie Gyllenhall. I loved that Maggie wore a richly colored/patterned gown instead of a lot of the paler colors we saw on the red carpet. I also liked that she didn’t wear a bell-shaped dress like a lot of the other ladies wore. I also really LOVED the color of Demi’s dress, it reminded me of a ballerina. And the layers and ruffles moved so nicely as she walked across the stage.

Joan: Oh, I just loved Demi's dress. Not a big fan of Maggie's dress –- I generally don't like prints on the red carpet. They just don't seem formal enough. I loved Anna Kendrick's gown, too. As well as Vera Farmiga’s and Queen Latifah’s. And I can’t not mention Carey Mulligan’s black pleated-sequined gown, Helen Mirren’s gorgeous silver number and Elizabeth Banks’ gorgeous gray gown. It was really a spectacular night. Loved all the ruffles and subtle details.

Melissa: I liked Carey Mulligan’s dress a lot although I felt that the mid-calf length in front was a little awkward but it wasn’t horrible. Omg, you know whose dress I didn’t like? And this person always looks spot-on? Kate Winslet. It was so boring and I felt that the draping on the bottom half of the dress was awkward. I felt like Anna Kendrick’s dress was too pale. I dunno, it got washed out into the background for me that it became almost forgettable.

Joan: I felt the same way about Kate Winslet's dress. It was like two different gowns. It just didn’t look right – but otherwise, she's gorgeous. Bitch. On to the worst dressed, shall we?

Joan and Melissa’s Worst Dressed: Oscars 2010

Joan: OK, you know I love him dearly – I’d actually like to have him cloned for my very own – but Robert Downey Jr looked like a total tool in his get up. But, I forgive him. Although, he still gets worst dressed man for me. Worst dressed woman, on the other hand is not so clear cut. There were a lot of contenders… namely, Diane Kruger. Who needs to stop wearing Chanel. I’m convinced that catastrophe was Chanel, unless I hear otherwise. It was gross on ever possible level.

Melissa: SJP. Oooooooof, that was Chanel Haute Couture and boy, oh boy, was it a big giant FAIL. There was nothing good about it. From the shapeless sack shape, to the awful color, to the weird neck strappy thing that was clearly choking her, the whole thing was a mess. I hated that bouffant on the back of her head and all the flyaways she had going on… did she ride in a convertible on her way there???

Joan: Lol. I just knew it. Karl considers her his muse. Diane Kruger almost exclusively wears Chanel! Which is probably why she couldn’t turn that dress down. Ooof. And you’re right about the hair. The only one with worse hair was…the other haute couture vintage mess: Sarah Jessica Parker. I applaud her for being a fashion horse and having the guts to wear what others wouldn’t. but, come on my dear – an ugly dress is an ugly dress – no matter how it was constructed or whose label it is. And on that note, I must bring up Charlize Theron…who wore Dior haute couture last night. The odd design on the front appeared to be two lavender hands grabbing her tits. Always classy.

Melissa: Oh my! That mess…. What was Charlize thinking??? I think a lot of these actresses were blinded by the HAUTE COUTURE labels and didn’t really think about how these gowns would look on them. Which is a shame cause they can all pull off pretty much anything and had to become victims to these frocks.

Joan: No, no they didn’t. I think they’re so honored to wear the label they forget how awful they look. But, unlike the kids’ story – this one doesn’t have a moral and keeps playing out without end. If I had to pick one worst dressed, I guess I’d go with Diane Kruger. At least the other two dresses had some redeeming qualities.

Melissa: Well, here we are at the end of another awards season. Always leave me a little misty-eyed. *sniff sniff*

Joan: Suck it up, kiddo. Before you know it, it will be time for the Emmy’s.

Live Blogging the Academy Awards 2010 Red Carpet

2010-03-07T18:21:00.017-05:00

It's officially the end of Award Show Season... Oscar! Oscar! Oscar! The stars are already arriving on the red carpet, so let's get to it.

Anna Kendrick.

This wasn't photographed properly --

but it's gorgeous on TV,

and especially against the red carpet.

Lovely draping, lovely details... well done.

Mo'nique.

I like the color on her, but it's a little too form fitting

to be flattering for her shape.

As a fellow big girl, this is not something

I'd choose to play up my curves.

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon.

Mariah brought her two friends again.

Love the color on her and the lines.

But the slit it too damn high.

Vera Farmiga.

I know what you're gonna say -- this is too much dress.

Maybe so, but I'm in love with this Marchesa gown.

Amanda Seyfried.

This is lovely and appropriate for the evening.

It's too bad you can't see the glimmer and quite grab the color.

Zoe Saldana.

Ombre, what a mess.

Ryan Reynolds.

Yum.

Elizabeth Banks.

In Versace. Really pretty.

Maggie Gyllenhaal.

Um... Not loving this. At all.

Sandra Bullock.

Let's say this is a marked improvement

from her past award show ensembles.

Like the sleek hair and the shimmering gold.

Not totally in love with it, but much improved.

Diane Kruger.

And we have a candidate for worst dressed.

Carrie Mulligan.

Really pretty. I might have liked a

floor-length hem, but this has great details.

Sarah Jessica Parker.

Chanel. It's ... well... something.

Penelope Cruz.

She always gets it right.

But she actually looked better at the Globes.

Helen Mirren.

Damn. She is smokin' for her age.

Always gets it right.

Rachel McAdams.

Love the lines, hate the print.

Queen Latifah.

Love this. The color. The details. Gorg.

George Clooney.

God -- he looks older than just a few weeks ago.

This one's probably sucking the life right out of him.

Someone -- a fountain of youth -- QUICK!

Charlize Theron.

From this angle... gorg.

From the front -- it looks like

two lavender hands cupping her breasts.

See???

Meryl Streep.

Finally, well dressed.

Only the batshit insane

2010-02-27T02:32:00.004-05:00

I don't know how she travels with that thing on her head? She must get around in a party bus or something. And how much self-control must that bodyguard be practicing to take her seriously???

It didn't end well

2010-02-25T20:50:00.004-05:00

After being missing for almost 3 weeks, the body of Boner was found in a park in Vancouver. His parents gave a press conference earlier today. Truly, the WORST nightmare a parent can go through.

Actor Andrew Koenig, who had been missing since February 14, committed suicide, his father told reporters after his son's body was found Thursday in a park in Vancouver, British Columbia.

"My son took his own life," Walter Koenig said at a news conference in the park.

The body of the former "Growing Pains" star was found by several friends who conducted their own search of Stanley Park, where Andrew Koenig liked to walk, his father said.

Koenig, 41, was reported missing by his parents after he did not board a flight to Los Angeles from Vancouver last week.

Walter Koenig -- himself an actor, known for his role as Pavel Chekov in the "Star Trek" series -- flew to Vancouver with his wife, Judy, on Tuesday to help with the search.

"He was obviously in a lot of pain," Walter Koenig said.

The Koenigs said they received a letter from their son last week in which he wrote in a "despondent tone."

He had stopped taking medication for depression about a year ago, his father said.

Unknown to his parents at the time, Andrew Koenig sold or gave away many of his possessions and moved out of his apartment in Venice, California, before traveling to Canada, the family said.

Koenig fell in love with Vancouver in 1988 when he first visited to film an episode of the TV show "21 Jump Street," his father said.

Koenig appeared in 25 episodes of "Growing Pains" from 1985 to 1989, playing Richard "Boner" Stabone, according to a filmography posted on the Internet Movie Database Web site. He also appeared in episodes of several other television shows.
He was described as "a gifted and passionate multitalented young man" on his father's Web site.

He performed at The Improv and had roles in movies that included "NonSeNse," "InAlienable," "The Theory of Everything" and "Batman: Dead End." He also acted on television in "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine," "G.I. Joe," "My Two Dads," "21 Jump Street," "My Sister Sam" and "Adam-12," the Web site said, and edited, directed, produced and wrote a number of films.

Koenig was an activist interested in many causes, his father's Web site says. He was arrested at the Rose Bowl in 2008 while protesting U.S. involvement in the 2008 Summer Olympic Games in China. He opposed U.S. participation because of China's support for a repressive regime in Myanmar, also known as Burma, the Web site says. [CNN]

Watch the heart wrenching news here:

Recognize this face?

2010-02-21T21:41:00.005-05:00

You knew him as Boner, Mike Seaver's BFF on Growing Pains. The sad thing is that he's MISSING!!! WTF???

On Feb. 16, Walter Koenig received a note from his son Andrew, which caused his father to grow concerned about his whereabouts.

"He sounded despondent," says Walter, who spoke to PEOPLE from his Los Angeles home. "Nobody has seen this [note] but my wife and I."

Andrew Koenig, 41, who starred as Boner on the late 80s sitcom Growing Pains, was set to arrive in Los Angeles on Feb. 14 after a trip to Canada, according to the Vancouver Police Department.

"He went to visit some friends in Toronto and after there, he went to Vancouver," says his father. "It’s a place where he felt very comfortable. He lived there for a few years."

Andrew still hasn’t returned to his Venice, Calif., residence. His father says there wasn’t a specific situation that would’ve prompted his disappearance.

"I think it’s something that has been a part of his makeup for a long time. There’s no single trauma. There’s no episode. There’s nothing of that nature," says Walter, who added that drugs were not an issue.

The former child star, who discovered Vancouver while filming an episode of 21 Jump Street in the late 80s, returned to live there in the early 90s and would often take walks in the city’s Stanley Park, according to police.

He had recently finished shooting a trailer for a feature film that he wanted to direct, says his father. Andrew had also grown into an outspoken environmentalist and human rights activist, as well.

For now, his family continues to wait and encourages anyone with information to contact their local police department, who will in turn reach out to Vancouver authorities. [People]

BAFTA: Red Carpet Review

2010-02-21T18:04:00.001-05:00

The last major Red Carpet affair before the Oscars took place across the pond just hours ago. (To watch the ceremony, tune to BBC America tonight at 8pm EST). But, if you can't wait to see how it all went down -- well, look no further.

Anna Kendrick.

This frock looks like it 2 sizes too big on her.

Audrey Tatou in what is unmistakably Lanvin.

Lovely confection in bubble gum pink.

Carey Mulligan.

Too much dress. Too much print. Too much...blech.

Claire Danes.

She looks like she's been bandaged.

Lovely and charming and ever-so-handsome, Colin Firth.

Kate Winslet.

I'd love to see her in a color once in a while.

Kristin Stewart.

Bringing her effervescent personality with her wherever she goes.

Yawn.

Mickey Rourke.

Proof why no celeb should be allowed to style their own hair.

Robert Pattinson.

Relax ladies -- calm your tubes.

It's more than likely he's not interested in your vag-jay-jay.

Vera Farmiga.

Love this. Grecian. Flowy. Gorg.

HRH Prince William.

Ahh, lovely Wills.

Know what I love best about this photo?

That hack James Cameron ain't in it.

Let's hope this is how it goes down Oscar night.

I dunno, she might want to reconsider

2010-02-15T16:49:00.003-05:00

Posh has already revealed what her Oscar dress will be. Not sure how I feel about it. It's so muted and I personally hate washed out colors like this. But she's a brunette so it won't be as bad as when a Nicole Kidman wears a dress like this. But with Posh's skeletal frame, I feel like this is going to cling in ways that I don't want to see.

While going over details of her "daring" and "sophisticated" new collection today, Victoria Beckham hinted at what she'll be wearing on Oscars night for the Elton John AIDS Foundation's annual Academy Awards party. A model stepped out wearing a stunning off-the-shoulder silk gown and Beckham said, "It looks effortless, it looks chic and I'm going to wear this to the Oscars". She also told the intimate crowd of editors that her refined fall lineup was inspired by 1940s-era Dick Tracy comic-strips. "It's '30s and '40s-influence mixed with cutting-edge uses of fabric," Beckham said. "To me, it symbolizes a relaxed elegance. It was my personal style goal to be more relaxed, and you can see that in the collection."

How freakin' true

2010-02-15T11:51:00.002-05:00

They will photoshop everyone!

2010-02-13T02:46:00.005-05:00

Tina Fey's scar has disappeared from the cover of the new issue of Vogue that she graces.

Here are some cool tidbits from the Vogue article:

**Fey, who is half Greek, grew up in Upper Darby, Pennsylvania, a very Greek suburb of Philly. Though her mother favored comfort and natural fibers in the seventies, most of the women in the neighborhood preferred a zestier presentation: Candie's, red nail polish, dark eyeliner, maybe a tight-fitting animal print, décolletage, hair piled up. "I still kind of like all that stuff," says Fey. "It's certainly not my day-to-day thing, but it does appeal to me every now and then. Part of it is what works with your body. I don't have a WASP body. Preppy doesn't work on me at all. There's something about the Greek thing where there's only, like, two speeds. If you put me in something conservative, it looks matronly. And if you cut it down to here"—she gestures to her navel—"it looks slutty." For example, the character Fey played in Baby Mama, a film set in Philadelphia, was meant to be a WASP. "The woman who did the costumes tried to put me in these Waspy clothes, and it just didn't work. I feel like ethnicity and fashion go together. So, yeah, knockers up and tight skirts. Somehow it's better."

**"I don't weigh myself. I just go by if my clothes fit. I try not to participate too much in the incredible amount of wasted energy that women have around dealing with food. I just feel like being healthy is sort of a job requirement to be on TV, and being a writer is so much coping with fatigue and stress, and you just eat. You eat to stay awake." Since the day Fey went in front of the camera, she has kept the weight off. "I've never gone back up," she says. "Well…I have had a baby. I gained 35 pounds." She laughs. "And had a five-pound baby.

"People will say, 'Oh, fashion magazines are so bad, they're giving girls a negative message'—but we're also the fattest country in the world, so it's not like we're all looking at fashion magazines and not eating. Maybe it just starts a shame cycle: I'm never going to look like that model, so…Chicken McNuggets it is! And conversely, I don't look at models who are crazy skinny and think I want to look like that, because a lot of them are gigantic, with giant hands and feet. Also, my dad is an artist—a painter by hobby—and I constantly would see realistic nudes. Because we were raised around art and went to museums and the women I grew up around were curvy…there wasn't this value on skinny, skinny, skinny. Curvy was clearly meant to be the winner. I go up and down a few pounds with a relative amount of kindness to myself. And I have a daughter, and I don't want her to waste her time on all of that."

**Of all the crazy, pinch-me-I'm-dreaming things that have happened to Tina Fey in the last year, by far the best was the day she was interviewed for O magazine. "Oprah came to my apartment," she says. "Oprah and Gayle were in my apartment, and they stayed for hours. It's like the most amazing thing that can happen to a white woman in the twenty-first century."

**Of the cleavage-baring Prada dress on the cover? "I am a fan of the deep V. These are the things I learned from my friends who are cutter/drapers: I have an hourglass figure; I do have a waist, but I have full hips and I have decent shoulders. So that V is good for me. I have learned enough that I can go to a rack and say, 'That's not going to work. That's going to work.' So at awards shows, I wear a deep V. Because it makes the triangles go the right way. Not good on me? Spaghetti straps. It looks like when you tie up a roast before you put it in the oven."

There's more here.

And one more cool photo!

The most amazing Valentine's Day cards one can ever send

2010-02-12T13:20:00.004-05:00

Whoever created these is a friggin' genius. I love the Ben one with his crazy eyes, Hurley looks cute, I love that Jack is CRYING!, and the smirk on Sayid's face is hilarious cause he knows just how cheesy his V-day card is.

Yeesh, what an asshole

2010-02-06T12:34:00.003-05:00

Linda Hamilton, who used to be married to Avatar director James Cameron, has spilled some of the beans of their marriage. Methinks this chick needs to write a book. What a glimpse into the man who brought us Avatar and Titanic.

Here are a few of the reasons it is difficult to be married to Cameron, according to Hamilton:

- When filming 'Terminator' Hamilton asked Cameron to see her playback and he refused. She got mad and he apologized and plied her with a bottle of champagne. "Then he told the crew that he'd made me work up that rage to get a better performance from me. Bull! So the apology didn't mean a thing. I thought: 'You creep!'"

- Cameron shouts 'Take a number, take a number,' when people want to talk to him.

- He would put his own family up in a hotel when they came to visit.

- When they were fighting Cameron would repeatedly move out and back in have his assistant move his home gym with him. "It got to the stage where I said: 'Let me at least keep your gym because this is really getting expensive.'"

- "His parenting techniques: Jim would go away for three years to do a movie then come back and treat her like a one-year-old and think she was going to be stolen in the playground."

- His mantra: "He used to say to me: 'Anybody can be a father or a husband. There are only five people in the world who can do what I do, and I'm going for that.'" [TMZ]

I, for one, was never impressed with Titanic and prayed that I was able to get those 3 hours of my life back. Now Avatar doesn't interest me in the least. And after reading this, forget it.

It's just seatbelts, but boy, do I want it!

2010-02-05T12:00:00.005-05:00

Love the new Harveys seatbelt bag. Too freakin' bad it costs $234.

More info here.

LOST TONIGHT!

2010-02-02T14:07:00.006-05:00

Tonight is the beginning of the end. Season 6 starts at 8 pm with a recap show and then the premier from 9-11. Here's a good link to look at if you need a refresher of everything that's gone down so far.

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2010/01/31/arts/television/20100131-lost-timeline.html?hp

Oscar Noms!

2010-02-02T13:27:00.002-05:00

We can't wait for March 7th. In the meantime, ponder the Oscar nominations.

Best Motion Picture of the Year

Avatar
The Blind Side
District 9
An Education
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Precious
A Serious Man
Up
Up in the Air

Achievement in Directing

James Cameron, Avatar
Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds
Lee Daniels, Precious
Jason Reitman, Up in the Air

Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
George Clooney, Up in the Air
Colin Firth, A Single Man
Morgan Freeman, Invictus
Jeremy Renner, The Hurt Locker

Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

Matt Damon, Invictus
Woody Harrelson, The Messenger
Christopher Plummer, The Last Station
Stanley Tucci, The Lovely Bones
Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
Helen Mirren, The Last Station
Carey Mulligan, An Education
Gabourey Sidibe, Precious
Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia

Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

Penélope Cruz, Nine
Vera Farmiga, Up in the Air
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Crazy Heart
Anna Kendrick, Up in the Air
Mo'Nique, Precious

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year

Coraline
Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Princess and the Frog
The Secret of Kells
Up

Original Screenplay

The Hurt Locker, Mark Boal
Inglourious Basterds, Quentin Tarantino
The Messenger, Alessandro Camon and Oren Moverman
A Serious Man, Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
Up, Pete Docter, Tom McCarthy and Bob Peterson

Adapted Screenplay

District 9, Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell
An Education, Nick Hornby
In the Loop, Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci and Tony Roche
Precious, Geoffrey Fletcher
Up in the Air, Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year

Ajami (Israel)
El Secreto de Sus Ojos (Argentina)
The Milk of Sorrow (Peru)
Un Prophète (France)
The White Ribbon (Germany)

Original Score

James Horner, Avatar
Alexandre Desplat, Fantastic Mr. Fox
Marco Beltrami and Buck Sanders, The Hurt Locker
Hans Zimmer, Sherlock Holmes
Michael Giacchino, Up

Original Song

"Almost There," Music & Lyrics by Randy Newman (The Princess and the Frog)
"Down in New Orleans," Music & Lyrics by Randy Newman (The Princess and the Frog)
"Loin de Paname," Music by Reinhardt Wagner; Lyrics by Frank Thomas (Paris 36)
"Take It All," Music & Lyrics by Maury Yeston (Nine)
"The Weary Kind," Music & Lyrics by Ryan Bingham and T-Bone Burnett (Crazy Heart)

Achievement in Art Direction

Avatar
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Nine
Sherlock Holmes
The Young Victoria

Achievement in Cinematography

Avatar, Mauro Fiore
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Bruno Delbonnel
The Hurt Locker, Barry Ackroyd
Inglourious Basterds, Robert Richardson
The White Ribbon. Christian Berger

Achievement in Costume Design

Bright Star, Janet Patterson
Coco before Chanel, Catherine Leterrier
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, Monique Prudhomme
Nine, Colleen Atwood
The Young Victori, Sandy Powell

Best Documentary Feature

Burma VJ
The Cove
Food, Inc.
The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers
Which Way Home

Best Documentary Short Subject

China's Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province
The Last Campaign of Booth Gardner
The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant
Music by Prudence
Rabbit à la Berlin

Achievement in Film Editing

Avatar, Stephen Rivkin, John Refoua and James Cameron
District 9, Julian Clarke
The Hurt Locker, Bob Murawski and Chris Innis
Inglourious Basterds, Sally Menke
Precious, Joe Klotz

Achievement in Makeup

Il Divo
Star Trek
The Young Victoria

Best Animated Short Film

French Roast
Granny O'Grimm's Sleeping Beauty
The Lady and the Reaper (La Dama y la Muerte)
Logorama
A Matter of Loaf and Death

Best Live Action Short Film

The Door
Instead of Abracadabra
Kavi
Miracle Fish
The New Tenants

Achievement in Sound Editing

Avatar
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Star Trek
Up

Achievement in Sound Mixing

Avatar
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Star Trek
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Achievement in Visual Effects

Avatar
District 9
Star Trek

A few more things Grammy-related

2010-02-01T16:49:00.008-05:00

Melissa's Best Dressed: Taylor Swift. Her scrunch face annoys me to no end, but at 16 years old, this broad has more class in her little finger than most who have been in the bidness for way longer.

Melissa's Worst Dressed: A great example of someone who's been in the bidness for way longer and doesn't have an ounce of class: Britney.

Questionables: Ricky Martin. Is he a robot now?

And Kesha (I REFUSE TO USE THE DOLLAR SIGN IN HER NAME -- FUCK THAT). I had no idea who she was when I saw her on the TV. I thought a crack head snuck in and got up onstage somehow. And next to a little girl, no less. But it's Kesha. She needs a new stylist and a new image -- stat.

The GRAMMY Red Carpet: Live

2010-01-31T18:15:00.016-05:00

Let's get it started...

Oh, dear Lord... who let these fools in? Way to class it up.

Liberace: Model 2010.

Imogen Heap arrives with a useless umbrella

and looking as if she was caught in a bear trap.

Best quote of the the night: "For her second outfit of the night, they're just gonna spray her down with glue and run her through a Build-A-Bear Workshop." -- Stephen Colbert, re: Lady GaGa's attire.

One of my all-time faves, Mr. M-R-A-Z. ;)

Lea Michelle, looking fabulous. Three for three.

Katy Perry in Zac Posen, I think. One word: Fugly.

She should never wear this color again.

And hear she is with her fiance, Russell Brand,

who looks like he showered... a little.

Usher and Mya.

Usher usually dresses so well, but I'm not digging this.

Heidi Klum raided Pam Anderson's closet for this tacky number.

I don't know who this couple is,

but they both have issues with their footwear.

Beyonce. This gown has lovely detail,

I'm just not crazy about the shade.

Pink. I like this gown. It's interesting. Like the shades.

Carrie Underwood. Liking the neckline on this dress.

Much prettier on camera than in this photo.

Lady GaGa -- in, wait for it, Armani! I actually like this. LOL.

Maybe there's something in my nasal spray, but I think this is fun.

Granted, she's going to impale someone on whatever that thing is...

But, it's classic Lady GaGa.

Live Blogging the GRAMMY's Red Carpet Tonite at 6pm EST

2010-01-31T10:53:00.001-05:00

You know it's gonna be a train wreck of fashion mishaps. So, make sure to make Joan & Melissa your go-to spot for snarky red carpet gossip and observations galore. See you soon!

There is a God

2010-01-28T21:36:00.000-05:00

Samantha Harris is leaving Dancing with the Stars. Finally -- no more awkward segues, no more bad backstage interviews, no more live flubbing and missing cues. The only thing I'll miss was her fabulous taste in clothes.

After eight seasons in the ballroom, the “Dancing with the Stars” co-host will not return to the ABC reality series for the show’s upcoming tenth season, Access Hollywood has confirmed. “[‘Dancing with the Stars’] could not have been more of a dream job,” Harris told People. “I loved every single second of it and I’ve made lifelong friends at the show.” [access hollywood]

Ugly Betty Deemed Too Ugly to Be on TV Any Longer

2010-01-28T21:31:00.001-05:00

Was anyone still watching? I forgot it was even still on...

"Ugly Betty" has gone out of fashion. ABC has decided not to continue the show beyond its current fourth season. The cast and crew were informed of the news Wednesday morning. The series finale will air in April. With four episodes still left to produce, executive producer Silvio Horta said they will be able to send "Ugly Betty" off in style. [la times]

Lady GaGa to Join X-Factor Panel?

2010-01-28T21:29:00.000-05:00

Look, Simon -- you're enlisting one whackjob to be a judge. Do you really have room for two?

The coveted female judge slot on “X-Factor” could go to creatively attired singer Lady Gaga. Reports coming out of the U.K. claim Simon Cowell has already offered her the job. She’d certainly be good television, but if she was asked and does accept, it could be bad news for Paula Abdul, who’s also said to be a contender for the spot. “There’s not room for both Paula and Lady Gaga,” said one source close to Cowell. “It would definitely be an either-or situation.” [msnbc]

Keep the snake in its cage

2010-01-27T12:41:00.004-05:00

This morning, Joan and I had a little discussion about what possibly happens in the mind of one sex addict, David Duchovney.

Melissa: I just got back from the break room and the TV was on Regis & Kelly. David Duchovney is guest hosting with Kelly and Claire Danes is the guest. Do you think he's constantly thinking about boning both of them?

Joan: Yes, yes I do. Lol. I think he thinks about boning the mailman.

Melissa: God, I hope they don't have a dog.

OH HELL NO

2010-01-26T13:36:00.005-05:00

What will they think of next??? These are just bad, bad, bad for society. Tasteless at the very least.

OH HELL NO

2010-01-25T16:30:00.002-05:00

Like Joan said, goes to show that you can slap the word Chanel on anything and you can charge an arm and leg for it. This is disgusting. I've seen better on Etsy at 1% of the cost of these pieces of crap. From bluefly.com, in case you're interested in purchasing.

Is Justin trying to hit that?

2010-01-24T13:11:00.004-05:00

If so, hey Meryl, GO FOR IT.

I have to add that the denim shirt on Justin is awful.

An Open Letter to Rachel Zoe

2010-01-24T09:31:00.002-05:00

EAT SOMETHING!

Joan and Melissa

Live Blogging the 2012 SAG Award Red Carpet

Golden Globes 2012: Best Dressed

Golden Globes 2012: Worst Dressed

Live Blogging the 2012 Golden Globes Red Carpet

Golden Globes 2012 Nominees: Our Picks

Critic's Choice Awards 2012: Red Carpet Showdown

People's Choice Awards 2012: Red Carpet Roundup

With a name like that...

Looks like my casting job is done

Quick, someone wind her up

I dunno know who the crazy lunatic is here

Is that what they're calling it these days?

Wonderin'

Just sayin'

PAN AM On Location 10/28/11

Meth Teef

So going to hell for thinking what I'm thinking while looking at this picture

RIP Steve

Emmys 2011: Red Carpet Live!

The 2011 Emmy Nominees

Live Blogging the 2011 EMMY Red Carpet

The EPIC FAIL of Bad Ideas

Like buttah...like a big stick of buttah.

Too much Tiger's Blood will do that to a person

Sorry 'bout that. We effed up.

Saw it coming, but it doesn't sting any less...

SVU gets up in Arnold's grill

Does WEtv have money to burn?

Will the REAL Kim Kardashian please stand up?

No one messes with the Divine Miss M -- Not even Lady GaGa

Stuff we could give two shits about...

Vanessa Hudgens Feels "Like a Soccer Mom" With New Haircut

How Selena Gomez Will Spend Her 19th Birthday

Which Thigh-Grazing Mini Looks Best on Kim Kardashian?

Is Demi Lovato, 18, Hooking Up With Ryan Phillippe, 36?

"Friday" Singer Rebecca Black Releasing New Single "My Moment"

You can't have just one...

She's putting on her Louboutins -- and he's just gonna hafta deal with it!

Will I be watching?

#he'sback @thethingthatwon'tgoaway

Splitsville

ahhh, what a breath of fresh air.

Ouch, that's gotta hurt: Part Deux

Ouch, that's gotta hurt.

This again?

Awwwwwkward.

...and together they will take over the world.

BAFTA Brits to Watch Gala

Seven Costanza

David and Victoria Beckham named their new child "Harper Seven." Why? Well, supposedly:

Harper is an old English name that Victoria has always loved, PEOPLE has learned, and seven is considered a very lucky spiritual number.

And now, proving there is a Seinfeld reference for EVERYTHING in life, I give you: Seven Costanza.

By George!

Can you Cannes Cannes? Fashion Report

The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Gala 2011

Hats Off! The Royal Wedding Headgear Breakdown.

Cheers to the Royal Couple

Live Blogging the OSCARS 2011 Red Carpet

BAFTA Red Carpet Highlights

Live Blogging the GRAMMY Awards 2011 Red Carpet

Greg Giraldo Memorial Benefit: A Night of Laughs and Memories

Live Blogging the SAG Awards 2011 Red Carpet

Live Blogging the Golden Globes 2011 Red Carpet

RIP GG

Joan and Melissa's Red Carpet Rundown: Emmy’s 2010

Live Blogging the Emmy's 2010 Red Carpet

WTF was America thinking???

J & M's Oscars Fashion Rundown

Live Blogging the Academy Awards 2010 Red Carpet

Only the batshit insane

It didn't end well

Recognize this face?

BAFTA: Red Carpet Review

I dunno, she might want to reconsider

How freakin' true

They will photoshop everyone!

The most amazing Valentine's Day cards one can ever send

Yeesh, what an asshole

It's just seatbelts, but boy, do I want it!