Mmm Mmm Good

Look, I loves me some George Clooney -- probably more so than the average gal. (The restraining order expires at the end of next month.) But there ain't no way I'd be chomping into some George Clooney-flavored ToFu. Just not happening.

Bosses at animal rights group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals are sweating over a new idea to turn George Clooney's perspiration into a tofu flavor. PETA president Ingrid E. Newkirk has written to the movie star asking him for his permission to market CloFu. The wacky idea came about after Newkirk was offered a vial of handsome George's sweat, apparently taken from a gym towel he used during a recent trip to Washington, D.C....In her letter to Clooney, the president writes, "The technology actually exists to take your perspiration and make it into George Clooney-flavored tofu. We could do that and give the tofu away. "Of course, your fans would swoon at the idea of eating CloFu...And taste expert Dr. Harry Lawless of Cornell University insists the idea is not as far-fetched as it sounds: "It is no different than making artificial chicken flavor for instant gravy."...But Clooney's initial response isn't all that encouraging. In a statement through his representative, the movie star says, "As a mammal, I'm offended." [sfgate]

Delightful...

Ya gotta love this...

Mily "Why aren't my 15 minutes up yet?" Cyrus wanted to get in to Radiohead's dressing room to meet the band the night of the Grammy's. But Radiohead wasn't having it. They didn't want to entertain her hicks and giggles. And ya gotta love them for it. Well, just like the class act her papa raised -- Miley ragged Radiohead out about it. Wah Wah Wah...

Miley...blasted the group on a syndicated radio show as “Stinkin’ Radiohead!” and said, “I’m gonna ruin them, I’m gonna tell everyone.” But the band aren’t taking the insult lying down. A spokesperson for the band responds on their behalf, “When Miley grows up, she’ll learn not to have a sense of entitlement.” [us weekly]

Oh, for frig's sake...

Really? No, really? I mean, after all that's been revealed, you're gonna sing a duet together? This is some crazy-ass crap.

Brown, 19, who is charged with two felonies in the alleged beating of Rihanna, recently recorded a duet with her, the song's producer, Polow Da Don, tells PEOPLE. "My heart goes out to both Chris and Rihanna for what has happened in the past," says Polow. "They are both great artists to work with, and I wish them well." To the shock of friends and family, the pair reconciled days before Brown's court appearance and have now spent time together recording a song that, a source tells PEOPLE, is "sweet and sentimental" and "expresses the challenges of a love relationship." [people]

Just what the hell am I looking at?

Pamela Anderson in Vivienne Westwood = Wrong.

Maybe 3's their lucky number?

I hope so, because they should be together... :(

Despite a reconciliation that gave them both cause for laughs, late-night talk-show host Jimmy Kimmel, 41, and comedian Sarah Silverman, 38, have split, a source confirms to PEOPLE. No reason was revealed for their second breakup. [people]

Disgusting...

It took Chris Brown nine days to apologize to girlfriend Rihanna for allegedly beating and biting her. That stunning account comes from the LAPD officer's notes about what happened between the two pop stars on the night of February 8th. According to the report released on Thursday, Rihanna’s assistant received a text message from Brown on February 17th apologizing for what he’d done and saying he was going to "get help." What either one of them did for the interceding nine days is unknown. But the report of what the police feel happened on February 8th is clear. If the charges are true, not only should Rihanna not be with Brown, but he needs more than "help." He needs punishment. [fox]

Agreed. What he did do, in detail, is now common knowledge. It's too horrific for us to include here. If you want to read the account, do so here.

Like the majority of domestically abused women, the ability to remove herself from her situation is a difficult one. There are so many factors involved it's hard to cast judgment on her. "She should just leave," is easier said than done. What's most important now is that she maintains contact with positive people in her life who can help her get to the place she needs to be. Ultimately, the courage to make the final break has to be something she's comfortable with and it may take a long time before she's there. It's so unfortunate she has to go through this process in the very public eye.

This, at least, is some good news:

Rihanna's lawyer Donald Etra tells Us Weekly that the 21-year-old singer will testify against her boyfriend Chris Brown, if need be. "She is planning to do everything that the law requires her to do," Etra tells Us. "If she is required to testify, she will do so."
[usa today]

Seriously Funny Stuff

Man... Vanity Fair rocks my world.
Is this the funniest thing you've ever seen?

JONAH HILL, PAUL RUDD, SETH ROGEN, and JASON SEGEL, The Pretty Young Things After appearing in Knocked Up and/or The 40-Year-Old Virgin, this quartet can now be considered summa cum laude graduates of the Judd Apatow school of comedy. Unlike so many comedy stars of the last two decades, they—and the other funny people depicted on the following pages—seem at their best when they work not as soloists but as part of a tightly knit ensemble. Say good-bye to the laughter of alienation and hello to a brand of comedy that fosters a feeling of community. Rather than dominate a crowd, they conspire with the people in the audience. Their strength lies in their charm. Even Rogen. Photographed by Annie Leibovitz (in tribute to her own March 2006 cover shot) on Stage 28 at Paramount Pictures Studio Lot, Los Angeles.

Joan's Best Dressed Picks
Oscar's 2009



Taraji P. Henson. My favorite look of the night --
from hair, to jewels (Fred Leighton) to that gorgeous
Roberto Cavalli strapless deconstructed teired gown.
Reminiscent of the Victorian era with a dash of modernism.
Just too gorgeous for words.



Anne Hathaway in Armani Prive.
Just fabulous beading and shimmer.



Alicia Keys in my favorite color this year.
This free-floating Armani Prive gown is perfectly draped
and just so feminine. Lovely.



Artistry and fashion combine in this magnificent
origami-esque Versace Ateilier gown. It's a masterpiece to behold.



Penelope Cruz's vintage turn in a 60-year-old
Pierre Balmain gown. Just gorg.



Evan Rachel Wood in a gorgeously pleated and
draped Elie Saab couture gown.

"Thanks for not being here."

That's what Letterman said to Joaquin during his recent appearance on the the Late Show. That train wreck of an appearance had everyone wondering: Is Joaquin pulling a prank or has he gone batshit insane? My bets are hedged with the former. (Apparently he and friend Casey Affleck are in the process of filming a mockumentary about a hip/hop singer quasi-celeb. So, this may be art imitating life.) That's why it's a little early for reports like these:

A rep for Joaquin Phoenix is slamming a Chicago-based psychiatrist for suggesting that the actor-turned-rapper, 34, is mentally ill. Paul Dobransky — a relationships expert and author of The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love — told the Los Angeles Times that Phoenix may be schizophrenic, pointing to his "socially inappropriate behavior," including a new rap career, bushy beard and a bizarre Late Show appearance. But Phoenix's rep tells MTV News: "How absolutely inappropriate for a doctor who has no personal interaction or relationship with someone to diagnose them.""And to do so in a public forum," the rep adds. "Hope they spelled his name right. Another 15-minute 'expert' is born!" [us weekly]

Is anyone buying this?

Not literally speaking -- is anyone buying she wrote this? Can she string a single sentence together? Come on.

The MTV reality star's name tops the cover of her first novel, L.A. Candy, which hits shelves June 16. Conrad's publishing debut is a fictional story about a 19-year-old girl named Jane Roberts who has not-so-subtle similarities to the author....In the novel, the two main characters are approached by a producer who wants them to be on a reality version of Sexy and the City. The book is about "what it's like to come of age in Hollywood while starring in a reality TV show, written by a girl who has experienced it all firsthand," the synopsis says. [us weekly]

I feel sick. You'll be better off reading this.

L.O.L.

Sometimes, the gossip world releases little gems, such as this:

"It" happens when you get divorced. Apparently, a lot of it. The gossip hounds at Page Six point out that Guy Ritchie has been derisively referring to Madonna as an "it" since before they were divorced. Ritchie reportedly often told English tabloids things like "Oh, It's in a bad mood today," and "We can't make It angry." Of course, it is a two-way street. When asked about Guy's comments, Madonna's rep Liz Rosenberg told Page Six: "It hasn't been in a bad mood since the divorce was finalized." And so it goes. [e!]

Priceless. Friggin' priceless. Thanks, Jen ;)