People's Choice Awards 2012: Red Carpet Roundup

I have one word for last night's People's Choice red carpet: tacky. It was like an S&M convention pounced itself on the Nokia Theatre, trampled on the red carpet and beat all onlookers into submission. There was one shining exception, thank goodness, to claim the title of Best Dressed. So, let's tear these starlets apart, shall we?

Ashley Green donning the subtle S&M look, short form. It's all too harsh. While the cut and design of this dress may be flattering, the stark black makes and sheen of the skirt fabric makes it look cheap, like a $2 whore. Next!

Jennifer Lawrence, who's obviously been caught in a net. Maybe she's up for the Best Cameo on Deadliest Catch? No excuse is good enough for sporting this atrocity.

Juilianne Hough. Much like the ever-classy mullet, this dress was all business in the front and a party in the back -- if that party is at Scores on a Saturday night.

Lea Michelle who apparently didn't have anything to wear and at the very last minute decided to rip off every last tassel from her drapes and lamp shades and fashion it into a makeshift dress. This isn't a Project Runway challenge, sweetie.

I don't even know who this broad is. She's probably DemiVanessaSelena LovatoHudgensLohan for all I care. What I do care about is this God awful schmatte. She's not wearing that dress, that dress is wearing her...in all the wrong ways.

Vanessa Hudgens as Kiss of the Spiderwoman. Really? A web motif? Is it Halloween? No, dumbass. It's award show season. If you honestly expect not to get reamed for this, you're dumber than you look.

Ginnifer Goodwin, THANK GOD FOR YOU! You were the only one who dared to do something different, something bold and something with a classy retro feel with a modern edge. If not for you there would be no Best Dressed this evening.