L. Ron's got nothin' on Gerber...

As if everything we've come to know about Scientology over the past year hasn't been creepy enough, get ready for the recommended childcare practices that Tom and Katie will be expected to dole out on poor, unwitting Suri:

"Hubbard and his medical followers suggest feeding the baby a formula of barley water mixed with homogenized milk and corn syrup or honey in the place of mother's breast milk or store bought formulas." [Post Chronicle]

Perhaps this is one of the reasons baby Suri and mom Katie were rushed back to the Cruise compound just 12 short hours after Katie had been admitted to the Los Angeles hospital. No attending physician would allow an infant to be fed honey. Here's why: Honey may contain certain spores that, while harmless to adults, can cause botulism in babies. [KidsHealth.org]. For more detail, click here.

The Scientology perscription for infant nutrition is controversial, to say the very least. It turns out that investigations were conducted and legal action has been taken in some cases. For a partial list of some very eerie personal accounts, click here.

The Post Chronicle elaborates on other Scientology childcare practices (now would be a god time to sit down and brace yourself):

Children are expected to attend Scientology classes several hours a day...and contact with non-Scientologists who could inadvertently talk to the children and "invalidate them" is avoided. Lessons also include teaching caregivers how to do "contact assists." For example, when a child gets hurt, parents will "gently recreate the incident until the child smiles." ...

"Children are spiritual beings, and as such they need to exchange with those around them in order to thrive and live productive, happy lives. Most children raised in good Scientology homes are above average in ability, and quickly begin to understand how and why people act as they do. Life thus becomes a lot happier and safer for them."

Hubbard's advice for kids not interested in learning about Scientology, or auditing? "If the child is even faintly unwilling to be audited, you can coax the child into short sessions, and then, as time goes on, lengthen them gradually," he wrote. No pressure there. ("Ability" Number 110, 1960)