Cest la vie...

Kinda bummed to hear this, but not really surprised. Let's face it: It cannot be a picnic living with Rosie O.

On her Sirius Satellite radio show, O'Donnell suddenly admitted Carpenter had moved out of their home two years ago. The reason for the big reveal? A pressing psychic and a long-haired chihuahua. "Where did you get her from Rosie? Because she says she came from somewhere. And she said she’s happier with you," pet psychic Sonya Fitzpatrick said of O'Donnell's dog Misty. "She's so spoiled and she loves to burrow." O'Donnell confirmed: "She does! She burrows in the bed right next to me." And, when asked who "sometimes looks after her," O'Donnell explained her four children all fight over caring for the pup, which she got three days after Carpenter left. "What happened [was] when Kelli moved out two years ago, I got the dog. Because I wanted another child or something to love. And I got the dog." [people]

What gives?

Someone please tell me what's with Kristen Stewart? I mean, for a chick who's living a charmed friggin' life right about now, you'd never know it. She walks around like she's in a friggin' funk. Lighten up! Oh, and call a stylist -- cause you have no clue how to dress yourself. Unless the house was on fire when you put this together, there's no real excuse for looking like this at a event where people will be photographing you. Nuff said.

There's no accounting for taste...

Here's proof that no amount of money can buy you taste. Tacky is as tacky does. InStyle magazine gives us a peek into the "humble abode" of Christina Aguilera. Do not adjust your screens -- this is the real deal.


I don't know where to look first here. Between the mirrored ceilings, the pink pool table, the Vegas-style arcade games flanking the fireplace and the Edvard Munch-esque carpeting, my eyes are now permanently crossed.



I'm pretty sure she went to a tag sale at Liberace's house and just said: "Wrap it all up - it's coming home with me!" Is that shag carpeting on the platform bed riser? (I'm pretty sure that sentence has never been written.)



Wow. Gotta say, I would totally be constipated in this bathroom. There's too much going on. I wouldn't be able to concentrate long enough to get my business done.



Look, every gal loves a big closet. But, this is riggodamndiculous. You'd think with all the money she laid out on that tacky-ass joint, she'd put aside some dough to finish dressing her kid.

Loose Lips

So, you all heard about the Josh Douchemel HookerGate deal. Apparently that stripper/hooker has a heart of gold and is apologizing to Fergie for sexing up her hubby. Also -- surprise -- she's not real smart like.

The woman who claims she had a short-lived affair with Josh Duhamel has exactly two words for his wife, Fergie: "I'm sorry." "I thought, 'Nobody's gonna find out. It's not gonna hurt anybody,' " exotic dancer Nicole Forrester, 34, tells Extra in an interview set to air Thursday night. "I'm sorry that I didn't think of it like I think of it now." ..."She's standing by her man, so obviously I'm not wrecking the home too bad, huh?" she says. In fact, the media attention given to her claims have hurt her family, if anyone's. She has two young children. "My son, he went to a football game last Saturday and he was like, 'Mom, you're disgusting. I didn't know you had sex with him,' " she says. [people]

Eh, Strippy Strippington, don't feel too bad. Because Fergie's not too clear on what's cheating and what isn't cheating anyway:

Prior to tabloid reports that her husband Josh Duhamel had an affair with an Atlanta stripper, Black Eyed Peas singer Fergie told the Advocate magazine that she has some strict rules about cheating in her marriage. That interview now appears in the December-January issue of the Advocate. Fergie told the magazine that her rules for cheating also apply for same-sex relationships. “I've had a lot of fun with women, and I'm not ashamed of it," she told the magazine. "But just because I enjoy women doesn't mean I'm allowed to have affairs in my relationship." ... “"I learned through talking with my therapist that it is still cheating even if it's with girls, so there is a rule there." [cnn]

Hmm. If I used Fergie logic, then I can make up my own rules: So, basically, it's not cheating if it's with George Clooney...and frankly, I'm ok with that.

What the what?

Please, for the love of God, someone tell me how this guy manages to snag the tail he snags? Is it the Woody Allen Syndrome? Because I'm not buying that ol' excuse. Na-uh.

For Emmy Rossum, her relationship with Counting Crows singer Adam Duritz began with a Tweet. ...Their relationship came to light this fall after they'd been spotted together multiple times. Rossum, 23, split from husband Justin Siegel in August – though her marriage was not widely known about. [people]

Ivanka Trump Gets Hitched

The first pics of Ivanka Trump's lavish wedding are surfacing. Here's a glimpse, quite lovely...

Smart Choice: Cubby Little Loser

This year's Golden Globes will be quite entertaining, we hope. Well, at least there's a good chance considering the choice of hosts: Ricky Gervais.

British comedian Rick Gervais will host this January's Golden Globe Awards, long called Hollywood's biggest party for its more casual atmosphere compared to other honors like the Oscars....Gervais, who has become a Hollywood darling with his impromptu appearances as a presenter at recent awards shows, said Golden Globes offer was one he couldn't refuse....broadcast the January 17 ceremony, said Gervais, who is also a stand-up comic, "has provided some of the most hilarious and memorable awards show moments in recent history."Nominations for the 67th annual Golden Globes will be announced on December 15 and handed out in Beverly Hills on January 17 in a ceremony seen in more than 160 nations, organizers said. [reuters]

Scientology Exposed: The Paul Haggis Chapter

Wow. Just wow. We fell asleep at the wheel for a minute and look what happens. Several ex-Scientologists have been blowing the whistle to the media, much to leader David Miscavige's chagrin. But, that's not all. Award-winning director and 35-year Scientologist Paul Haggis has quit the religion, revealing some interesting insider knowledge in the process.

Recently, a bigwig Scientologist went on TV to defend the religion against the former Scientologists who are coming out of the woodwork to expose its leader and the religion itself. Typically, the Scientology way of dealing with betrayers is to use the information taken from them during "confessionals" and "audits" and using it to publicly embarrass them. True to form, this bigwig pulled out his folder of personal information and let them have it. Haggis cites this as one of his three major reasons for leaving the religion.

The other two reasons are also pretty telling. It's long been assumed that Scientology is anti-gay. This was alluded to in Christopher Andersen's biography on Tom Cruise. But, it would appear that the Church of Scientology aligned itself for the Church of Latter Day Saints in its quest to have Proposition 8 passed in California, to much success. Haggis found this extremely counter to the church's standing on acceptance. His other reason for leaving the church was its "disconnection" rule, under which participants in the religion are not permitted to see certain family members and friends if they are deemed problematic to the church and its mission. Haggis' wife was subjected to this rule -- even though it's been publicly denied on several occasions.

It's always been clear that the Church of Scientology is shady, at best. As more stories like Haggis' come to light, I have a feeling shady isn't going to begin to cover it.

Here's some of the more enlightening quotes from Haggis' letter of resignation, the Nightline transcript in which several ex-members discuss internal processes and a representative defends the church, and a link to the lengthy St. Petersburg Times Magazine expose on Scientology. Prepare to be astounded.

"As you know, for ten months now I have been writing to ask you to make a public statement denouncing the actions of the Church of Scientology of San Diego. Their public sponsorship of Proposition 8, a hate-filled legislation that succeeded in taking away the civil rights of gay and lesbian citizens of California – rights that were granted them by the Supreme Court of our state – shames us....The church’s refusal to denounce the actions of these bigots, hypocrites and homophobes is cowardly. I can think of no other word. Silence is consent, Tommy. I refuse to consent." [Haggis' letter of termination]

"I saw you deny the church’s policy of disconnection. You said straight-out there was no such policy, that it did not exist. I was shocked. We all know this policy exists. I didn’t have to search for verification – I didn’t have to look any further than my own home. You might recall that my wife was ordered to disconnect from her parents because of something absolutely trivial they supposedly did twenty-five years ago when they resigned from the church. This is a lovely retired couple, never said a negative word about Scientology to me or anyone else I know – hardly raving maniacs or enemies of the church. In fact it was they who introduced my wife to Scientology." [Haggis' letter of termination]

"And though it may seem small by comparison, I was truly disturbed to see you provide private details from confessionals to the press in an attempt to embarrass and discredit the executives who spoke out....You even felt free to publish secrets from the confessional in Freedom Magazine – you just stopped short of labeling them as such, probably because you knew Scientologists would be horrified, knowing you so easily broke a sacred vow of trust with your parishioners." [Haggis' letter of termination]

But these former senior Scientologists say as Miscavige's leadership progressed, he became increasingly eccentric. "He got his beagle and he literally had somebody tailor a blue vest sweater for his beagle dog and made up epaulets, these Sea Org ranks in the Sea Organization," said Rathbun, referring to the religious order within the Church. "And he had four stripes put on, captain, for the dog. And he would bring the dog in. And if those guys didn't salute the dog, he would just viciously berate them and invalidate them." Amy Scobee gave her account. "[Miscavige] comes with his dog, with a sweater, with commander stripes. And, the dog let out a little bark when she saw me. And, uh, David Miscavige said, you know ... 'You've got somethin' goin' on. Because sh ... she is detecting out ethics. And you have something going on.' I think what the dog was really saying is, you know, 'You look like the only halfway sane person to me. Help me outta this outfit.'" [nightline]

"Bruce Hines said he himself was physically struck by Miscavige....Why didn't Hines react by hitting back? "So say I did that. He hits me and I just go bam. And, you know, sock him in the jaw or something. That would mean, um, I had just forfeited my hope for eternity," said Hines. "... Because it's drilled in over and over and over again, that Scientology has the only route to freedom." So Miscavige has the power over eternity? "Yes." [nightline]

FULL EXPOSE: http://www.tampabay.com/specials/2009/reports/project/

Obama's face? Does. Not. Change.

He's all for change, and we love the man. But his face does not change. Here are 130 photos taken with visiting foreign dignitaries Wednesday during the U.N. meeting. The video shows all the pics sequentially in 20 seconds. His smile is immobile and identical in each one. It is creepy.

Barack Obama's amazingly consistent smile from Eric Spiegelman on Vimeo.

Emmy Observations...

• So, it looks like Patricia Arquette is back with "The Punisher." Guess she's not as dumb as I thought.
• At first, the Neil Patrick Harris musical number that opened the show worried me a bit, but he pulled it out and now I just wanna clone and marry him. (Which I sure he'd have issue with.) Moving on...
• Amy Poehler is a friggin' genius. She got all the nominees of the Best Supporting Actress/Comedy to don some kind of eyewear. Kristin Wiig in a monocle and pipe, Amy in a pirate patch, what's her face from Weeds in goggles. Really clever and unexpected. Course, what I'm looking fwd to most is the little taped intros before the Late Night writers' category. Always a treat.
• Wow. I gotta say... WHO THE F IS RESPONSIBLE FOR COUNTING THE VOTES? Supporting Actor/Comedy... out of all the stiff competition -- JON CRYER wins???? Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Sure. OK. BOGUS. Let's give it to the least talented in the whole group. Nutso. Look, let's face it Jon Cryer peaked in Pretty in Pink. Nuff said.

Red Carpet Arrivals: 2009 Emmys

The Red Carpet is full of some lovely frocks and some red-hot messes. Let us begin...


OK. Look, I love the man, too... but this is a little rigoddamndiculous....



It's not a party until Tracy arrives...



...and Kathy.


Clearly, she's the host of Top Chef, because she knows absolutely nothing about fashion. That awful floral adornment looks like a growth. Hideous.


Lovely, Sandra Oh, very well done.



Oh No. Angela from the Office in what appears to be red tin foil.


Jenna Fischer, looking lovely in this black strapless number.


Oh, really? Ugh. This star of House should fire her stylist.



Allyson Hannigan, really lovely.


A very pregant Heidi Klum.


Christina Applegate. I like the lines. Not sure I like what's going on in the middle.

Live Blogging the Emmy Red Carpet...

Scoot on over here tonight beginning at 6pm for live Red Carpet blogging Emmy style. Till then, whet your award-show appetite with the nominees list...

TV's biggest night – which CBS will broadcast live Sunday starting at 8 p.m. – is still expected to shower plenty of gold upon NBC's comedy 30 Rock and AMC's drama Mad Men, just like last year, but with How I Met Your Mother star Neil Patrick Harris as the ceremony's first-time host after his stellar turn emceeing June's Tony Awards, the evening should also benefit from some categories starring new contenders. [people]

Best Series, Drama

• 'Big Love'
  
• 'Breaking Bad'
  
• 'Damages'
  
• 'Dexter'
  
• 'House'
  
• 'Lost'
  
• 'Mad Men'
  

Best Series, Comedy

• '30 Rock'
  
• 'Entourage'
  
• 'Family Guy'
  
• 'Flight Of The Conchords'
  
• 'How I Met Your Mother'
  
• 'The Office'
  
• 'Weeds'
  

Best Actor, Drama

• Bryan Cranston
  'Breaking Bad'
• Michael C. Hall
  'Dexter'
• Hugh Laurie
  'House'
• Gabriel Byrne
  'In Treatment'
• Jon Hamm
  'Mad Men'
• Simon Baker
  'The Mentalist'
• 
  

Best Actor, Comedy

• Alec Baldwin
  '30 Rock'
• Tony Shalhoub
  'Monk'
• Jim Parsons
  'The Big Bang Theory'
• Steve Carell
  'The Office'
• Charlie Sheen
  'Two And A Half Men'
• Jemaine Clement
  'Flight Of The Conchords'
• 
  

Best Actress, Drama

• Sally Field
  'Brothers & Sisters'
• Glenn Close
  'Damages'
• Mariska Hargitay
  'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit'
• Holly Hunter
  'Saving Grace'
• Kyra Sedgwick
  'The Closer'
• Elisabeth Moss
  'Mad Men'
• 
  

Best Actress, Comedy

• Tina Fey
  '30 Rock'
• Christina Applegate
  'Samantha Who?'
• Julia Louis-Dreyfus
  'The New Adventures Of Old Christine'
• Sarah Silverman
  'The Sarah Silverman Program'
• Mary-Louise Parker
  'Weeds'
• Toni Collette
  'United States Of Tara'
• 
  

Best Supporting Actor, Drama Series

• William Shatner
  'Boston Legal'
• Christian Clemenson
  'Boston Legal'
• Aaron Paul
  'Breaking Bad'
• Michael Emerson
  'Lost'
• John Slattery
  'Mad Men'
• William Hurt
  'Damages'
• 
  

Best Supporting Actress, Drama Series

• Rose Byrne
  'Damages'
• Hope Davis
  'In Treatment'
• Chandra Wilson
  'Grey's Anatomy'
• Sandra Oh
  'Grey's Anatomy'
• Dianne Wiest
  'In Treatment'
• Cherry Jones
  '24'
• 
  

Best Supporting Actor, Comedy Series

• Kevin Dillon
  'Entourage'
• Tracy Morgan
  '30 Rock'
• Neil Patrick Harris
  'How I Met Your Mother'
• Rainn Wilson
  'The Office'
• Jon Cryer
  'Two And A Half Men'
• Jack McBrayer
  '30 Rock'
• 
  

Best Supporting Actress, Comedy Series

• Kristin Chenoweth
  'Pushing Daisies'
• Kristen Wiig
  'Saturday Night Live'
• Amy Poehler
  'Saturday Night Live'
• Jane Krakowski
  '30 Rock'
• Vanessa Williams
  'Ugly Betty'
• Elizabeth Perkins
  'Weeds'
• 
  

Best Reality-Competition Program

• 'American Idol'
  
• 'Dancing With The Stars'
  
• 'Project Runway'
  
• 'The Amazing Race'
  
• 'Top Chef'
  
• 
  
• 
  

Best Host for a Reality or Reality-Competition Program

• Ryan Seacrest
  'American Idol'
• Tom Bergeron
  'Dancing With the Stars'
• Phil Keoghan
  'The Amazing Race'
• Heidi Klum
  'Project Runway'
• Jeff Probst
  'Survivor'
• Padma Lakshmi and Tom Colicchio
  'Top Chef'
• 
  

Best Variety, Music or Comedy Series

• 'Late Show With David Letterman'
  
• 'Real Time With Bill Maher'
  
• 'Saturday Night Live'
  
• 'The Colbert Report'
  
• 'The Daily Show With Jon Stewart'
  
• 
  
  
  

Sex and the City: Sequel Spoilers...

It's hard to keep a plotline under wraps in a city as crowded as NY. Much of the plot of the first SATC movie was revealed just from pictures taken during the filming... We all remember the shock when those 1st pictures of Carrie in her haute couture wedding gown appeared. Not to mention the images of her beating Big about the head with her bouquet. Well, it's happening again...but to a different bride. Could it be Samantha, the self-proclaimed ever-single, is getting hitched? Looks that way. And, who else could the groom possibly be? Especially when it's already been leaked that Smith is back in the script... Let these pictures do the talking:

Baby Mama Drama

Jude Law may be busy rehearsing for his upcoming Broadway stint as the brooding Danish Prince Hamlet, but he's got other fish to fry. Known for his wandering ways, Jude is involved in yet another messy situation:

LONDON - MODEL Samantha Burke has been offered $240,000 to spill the beans on her ex-lover Jude Law, reported media outlets on Thursday. Burke, who is pregnant with the British actor's child after a brief relationship in 2008, is reportedly in discussions with a number of magazines, reported entertainment website, Bang Showbiz. She is apparently expecting a daughter who will be named Sophia and the discussions about selling the first photos of the child. [straits times]

But, he's not the only one... Keanu Reeves is also embroiled in some baby mamma drama:

The Speedster has agreed to submit to DNA testing to prove he is not the father of any of 46-year-old Karen Sala's four adult children, the star's lawyer, Lorne Wolfson, confirmed to the Toronto Sun. "There will be a DNA test done within the next while," he said. Sala is asking for $150,000 per month in child support, retroactive from June 1988, as well as $3 million per month in spousal support retroactive. ...The Ontario woman seeking that pricey journey is a complete stranger to Reeves, the 45-year-old's rep, Cheryl Maisel, told the paper. [e]

RIP Patrick Swayze

Very sad. So very sad. He fought the good fight, and now is in a much better place. RIP.

Patrick Swayze lost his battle with pancreatic cancer Monday. He was 57. "Patrick Swayze passed away peacefully today with family at his side after facing the challenges of his illness for the last 20 months," his rep tells PEOPLE in a statement. A gifted dancer, a rugged outdoorsman, a romantic leading man and a loving husband, Swayze was also, as his brother Don put it, "a warrior" in his cancer fight. The actor continued working on his A&E series The Beast even as he underwent chemotherapy – and never lost hope. About his prognosis, he did admit in a Barbara Walters interview that aired in January, "There's a lot of fear here. Yeah, I'm scared. Yeah, I'm angry. Yeah, I'm [asking], 'Why me?' " A month before, Swayze had issued a statement to PEOPLE in regard to speculation about his health, saying that such questions "cast a negative shadow on the positive and good fight I'm fighting." [people]

Lady Ca Ca single-handedly keeps clothing manufacturers in business

Let it be said: Lady Ga Ga is out of her damn mind. Case in point: Last night's many VMA wardrobe changes. I've heard of changing in between acts, but who changes during a commercial break? She scares me, more than just a little.

I think it's the leg warmers that really pull this outfit together.

Finally, someone's found another use for embroidery hoops.

I really cannot begin to tell you how much that crown
scares the boo boo jeebies out of me.

There.are.no.words.

Why isn't PETA outraged by this outfit?

Hey, who let this douche nozzle get on stage?

What the what? I had to rub my eyes, blink twice and shake my head...and she was STILL there. But I shrugged the stage crasher off -- thinking it was a long show and I was hallucinating. I mean, after all, WHO DOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS? Who stage crashes, making it look like you're part of the act unless you're on crack? If I were Jay-Z or Alicia Keys, I woulda knocked her dumb ass off the damn stage.

Lil Mama has issued a statement to explain why she ran on stage during Jay-Z and Alicia Keys’ “Empire State of Mind” at last night’s MTV Video Music Awards. “I did not mean any disrespect towards Jay-Z or Alicia Keys,” the rapper/America’s Best Dance Crew judge says. “I admire them and look up to them as role models. ‘Empire State of Mind’ had my emotions running high. In that moment I came up on stage to celebrate my two icons singing about NY.” [ew]

Appetite Destroyer

One of our correspondents found this foodstuff in a Wal-Mart (of course). Thanks J!

Oof, this season's Project Runway pretty much blows

Joan: The new season of Project Runway (on Lifetime...yick) is about 4 episodes in now. And, frankly — the judges are out of their damn minds. I don’t know which way is up anymore. Every runway wrap-up feels like a Fellini film. I feel like any minute a miming clown is going to come down the runway and strike a pose, without anyone noticing or providing explanation. Heidi likes the badly sewn dress. Nina loves the toilet-stained frock. And where the hell is Michael Kors? Can’t he take time out of his bust QVC schedule to show up and knock some sense into these floosies?

Melissa: I just cant wrap my mind around half of the crap that's coming down that runway that the judges are praising. from mitchell's nude schmata to the awfully tailored suit that won last week, i'm convinced that heidi, nina, and whoever the guest judge is, are hitting the crack pipe before the runway show. the latest revelation is that ra'mon's neoprene dressed was dyed in the men's toilet and that the model was annoyed about wearing it. uh, NO SHIT! it was in the fucking toilet. and it won. idiots.

Joan: Something is definitely off this season. I don’t know if it’s because the whole shebang sat in a can for almost a year while the legal battle waged or what. But something is not right. I have disagreed with every top two and bottom two this season. And, for the most part, that’s never happened before. I should have known that the awful crap that went down in the ALL-STAR reunion was going to be an omen of bad things to come.

Melissa: yeah, i'm just not seeing eye-to-eye with the judges either. and OMG, epperson's dress -- they loved that shit. my first thought when it came down the runway was, damn, she look like a hooker. an expensive hooker but still a hooker. what gives?!?!

Joan: that’s precisely what I thought. It look unfinished, sloppy and slutty. This is turning out to be a train wreck of a season. Much more of this and I’ll be switching to The Fashion Show for good.

Melissa: I loved The Fashion Show. but i haven't heard of a second season. have you heard anything?

Joan: No. With our luck, it will be canceled. Well, here’s to hoping PR gets its act together — QUICK.

Beyonce classes it up by giving Taylor Swift her time to shine...

Beyonce just won for Single Ladies, and in lieu of a speech she let Taylor Swift come out and have her moment to shine. Here's why:

Is Kanye West the new “Soy Bomb”? Moments after Taylor Swift’s win for Best Female Video (”You Belong With Me”) was announced tonight at MTV’s Video Music Awards... a furious Mr. West ran onstage, grabbed a mic, and interrupted her acceptance speech to announce his belief that Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” deserved that award instead.
[ew]

How do you spell "douchebag": K-A-N-Y-E.

2009 VMAs: Lots of T and some A-hole

Gotta love the VMAs. It's good for one thing: Red Carpet Nightmares. Case in point:

Katy Perry: Dangerously close to a wardrobe malfunction.

JLo: Dress is having an identity crisis

Beyonce: Try sitting in this one.

Lady Ca Ca: Oh, suckah please.

Now, that's gotta be humiliating

What's the one thing you worried about before the prom? "God, I hope no one has the same dress as I do." Flash forward 15-20 years and you know these two were having flashbacks. Ooof. Don't these stylists find this shit out prior? Someone's getting fired.

Shakira and Pink at tonight's VMAs.

I'll be under the table, chewing on a blanket

WTF is up with that teddy's teef??? Jennie Garth looks scared shitless while the kid doesn't know any better.


Jennie Garth gets kids brushing during the Trident-sponsored Smiles Across America launch event in Los Angeles on Thursday. The actress was on hand help raise awareness for proper dental care for children.