Joan Rivers: One Tough Broad. 1933-2014. RIP.

Nicole, aka, Joan: It's been over two years since our last post on Joan & Melissa...and I know I also speak for Nuray (aka Melissa) when I say that I wish it were under far different circumstances. It is with terrible sadness that we pay our last respects to the one...and the only...Joan Rivers, who passed away unexpectedly and untimely on Thursday. 

What's so hard to reconcile is how full of life Joan was at the age of 81, and showing no signs of slowing down. In fact, she was working more in her golden years than any other period in her life. Full of vim and vigor, Joan had every intention to keep her Fashion Police commitments post procedure, gearing up for two shows from NYC Fashion Week. Just a week prior she was sharp as a tack while hosting the snarky celebrity gossip show on E! And, I think that's why the news of her passing is just so surreal. 

What I loved about Joan was her unapologetic brand of humor, both self deprecating and bitingly acerbic, which she consistently evolved throughout her career. I loved that she just plain didn't give a shit what anyone thought about her comedic talents and that the older she got the brassier and ballsier she became. She was one tough broad...one we will surely never see the likes of again. Every female comic, famous or obscure, has Joan to thank for influencing them in some way and paving their road ahead. For myself, I thank Joan for all the laughs throughout the years and proving that despite career and personal setbacks, one can triumph through any adversity. I will miss her always. 

Nuray's comments to follow shortly...

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Take a look at these mugs. Stop reproducing and Take. A. Nap.

Live Blogging the 2012 Oscars Red Carpet

You know the drill. Let's get right to it:

Berenice Bejo. I'm on the fence. Like the hue, like the detail -- but something about the cut at the top is offputting

George Clooney and Stacy Kiebler. Every single time I write her last name I want a goddamn cookie. Pretty dress. I like the color and the swishy flower-like draping. And him -- well, he's a God. I think he wakes and sleeps in a tux. 

Jessica Chastain. In Alexander McQueen (who else?). It overwhelms her. On another person, this dress would be outrageously fab.

Melissa McCarthy. Not loving this, mainly because of the color. It washes her out. Good cut and fit though.

Shailene Wooley. Love this. It may be a bit old for her, but I love the retro cut.

Michelle Williams in Louis Vuitton. I'm kinda sick of her looking like this. This color w/the bold red lip. Enough. Do something else.

 

Rooney Mara in Givenchy. OK, it's something other than black. But it's HORRIBLE.

Viola Davis in Vera Wang. Not a fan of the color. Not a fan of the hair/styling. But her body is rockin' in this daring dress.

Emma Stone in Giambattista Valli. Easily my fave so far. Gorgeous. She can't do wrong. Even when she does, it's not a total fuckup like some people.

Gwyneth Paltrow. I had to say this, but I LOVE THIS. It's totally dramatic and not tacky at all -- so unlike fishsticks.

Natalie Portman. Black and red polka dots. Hmm. Nope. Not ok. Nope.

Penelope Cruz.  Love the color. She's not on trend for silhouette tonight. But, it's lovely nonetheless.

 Sandra Bullock. WTF is going at the waist?

2012 Grammy's Red Carpet Arrivals

The freaks come out at night! But, thankfully, some of these musicians are dressed "normally." Here's a sneak peek at the Grammy Red Carpet so far:

Val Kilmer or Vince Neil. Your choice. There's no difference anymore. 

Adele -- looking fab, as usual. Who says curvy girls ain't got style?

Carrie Underwood in her typical shiny column dress. Yawn. Change it up, girl!

Corinne Bailey Rae -- in Christian Siriano. So far, my fave. Fabulous, feminine, whimsical with just the right amount of edge.

Fergie -- um. I just can't. I can't deal. Where do I start? The granny panties or the day-glo HAZMAT orange? She s/b cleaning up garbage on the side of the parkway in this schmattah. 

Katy Perry. Surprisingly gorg, minus the hair. The hair is effing ridiculous. But the dress is fab! 

Nikki Minaj and...the Pope. I cannot wait to see what the Catholic League says about this. Right about now, their collars are in a bunch.

2012 BAFTA Red Carpet

The British equivalent of our Oscars took place today, in a far classier way -- you can rest assured. Shit, it's held in an Opera House -- not a theatre that's part of a mall. (Yeah, I'm talking about you Nokia Theatre.) Annnnyway: Here's some of the best and most questionable looks of the evening:

Helena Hotmess Bonham Carter. I'm sure this is her go-to designer Vivian Westwood. I can't completely bash Westwood. Eh, I give this broad credit for going out of the house looking like a doll that's been left in the attic for over 50 years. 

Kristen Wiig: Hurrah! What an improvement! She got the friggin' memo, finally!

Meryl Streep: Hurrah again! Another improvement! The jacket may be a bit heavy-handed, but she looks fab nonetheless. Well done. 

Michelle Williams. Now this is color-blocking I can get behind. Really lovely and pulled together. Totally beats the crap Valentino she wore to the SAGs. 

Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer. Man, Octavia just can't do wrong. She's really finding just the right looks to compliment her shape. And, Viola has hit on a look that always works for her -- and she's not afraid of color either, which is awesome. I'm so tired of pale, black and whites on the red carpet. Brava!

Whitney Houston, dead at 48. *Sigh*

Another great one leaves us. Whitney Houston, dead at 48.

Singer Whitney Houston, who reigned as one of the world's top pop stars in the 1980s and '90s but suffered from recurring bouts with drugs and alcohol, was found dead in a Beverly Hills hotel room Saturday. Law enforcement sources told The Times that paramedics arrived at the Beverly Hilton hotel, where Houston was staying, and found her dead. Her cause of death was unknown, said the sources, who asked to remain anonymous because the investigation is ongoing. Houston, 48, was in the Los Angeles area for a musical tribute for music executive Clive Davis and had performed earlier this week. Houston was planning to attend Davis’ annual pre-Grammy party Saturday at the Beverly Hilton hotel, the see-and-be-seen event of the year. [LA TIMES]

There's so much being speculated now, so we won't debate the possible cause of death or discuss the ups and downs of Whitney's life. We both grew up listening to the divine Ms. Houston, worshiping that debut album -- knowing it word for word, backwards and forwards. And, right now, we just wanna remember her that way. That powerful, wonderful voice that knew no bounds.

Gone too soon. RIP Whitney.

Live Blogging the 2012 SAG Award Red Carpet

We're in the swing of award season tonite with the 2012 SAG Awards. The actors are starting to make their appearance on the red carpet, so let's get on with it, shall we?

Gotta say, I'm really loving this look on Kelly Osbourne. White is perhaps the only color that could compliment that weird shade of grey hair she's been sporting.

Glenn Close, looking fab in this black dress. The tule on the arms are a bit mummy-rific, but doesn't ruin the whole look.

Diane Lane. This is slightly bridesmaid-y, but really pretty nonetheless. And the cobalt blue is such a great color with her red hair. She's rarely a red carpet miss.

Jayma Mays. Better from the back. Would have preferred a color to compliment her complexion and hair color.

Caley Cuocco. This is so very retro and feminine. Love the braided updo. People may think this is old fashioned or too mature for her -- I say shove it. She look gorg!

Julianna Margolies. Well, it's improvement from the mess she wore at the Golden Globes. But it's ill-fitted at the top, a problem she has time and time again. But, two thumbs up for improvement.

Octavia Spencer in Tadashi Shoji -- another hit! Proving plus-sized women can look just as good on the red carpet as those stick thin broads!

OK, Lea Michele. Simmer down now. You're officially becoming the most annoying person on the red carpet. Hands down. Congrats.

Julie Bowen. It's got that 30s drop-waist retro feel. I'm not hating it. I actually like the color, too. I just can't put my finger on what's missing here...

Ashlee Simpson. Why is she here? Annnnnyway. She happens to look great. Love the dress and the hair is perfection.

Kristen Wiig. Oh, well. She tries. She's funny as hell, but can't dress worth a damn. Someone needs to sway her away from these muted, pale fabrics and get her into something daring and colorful!

Michelle Williams in Valentino. Gotta say, this is matronly for Valentino. Hate it. Hate the hemline, hate the neckline. Hate it.

Regina King. God, this color rocks. It may be a tad too frilly, but she looks fab!

Rose Byrne in what easily is the Worst Dressed for the night. Ladies -- while a jumpsuit may seem like a good idea (though when, I've no idea), it never, ever is. No matter how much you flash it up with frills, sequins and other do-dads, a jumpsuit is NEVER a good idea.

Kyra Sedgewick. I dunno, it just seems cheap, doesn't it? I know cut-outs are the big thing, but ick. 

Sofia Vergara -- It's hard for her to eff it all up, isn't it? When I come back in my next life -- I call dibs on this body. Damn, bitch.

Viola Davis in a very Grecian number. Loving the metallic gold detail on the bust. Lovely. 

Emma Stone in Alexander McQueen. AMAZING. She hit it out of the park!!! 

Golden Globes 2012: Best Dressed

...and now, to counter the worst of the worst, we give you the BEST of the BEST -- in no particular order. Oh, and one very honorable mention for Most Improved.

JULIE BOWEN in Reem Acra. Bowen is clearly channeling Grace Kelly in her Golden Globes gown, and it works on every single level. She pulled it off perfectly. From the styling, to the retro cut of the dress. She might as well be walking right off the set of To Catch a Thief. GOR-G-EOUS.

CHARLIZE THERON in Dior. What an improvement from the Critic's Choice Awards. Soft, ethereal, almost Greek goddess. Sure, the slit and vee-plunge is a little revealing, but Theron can pull it off without making it look slutty.

DIANE LANE in Reem Acra. Perfection. From the Veronica Lake-esque waves in her hair to the cap sleeve and intricate beading -- it's all working. This is how someone should look on the red carpet.

JESSICA ALBA. She just had a baby, didn't she? Unreal. These actresses are not human. This feminine column dress with a free-floating wispy train at the back is just incredible.

TILDA SWINTON. And the award for Most Improved goes to... Holy crap. I totally had to eat my words when I saw this. Sure, the hair is a bit much -- but that gown is to die for. And it really works with Swinton's pale complexion. She needs to hang on to her new stylist for dear life! 

EVAN RACHEL WOOD. Amazing from all angles. This iridescent beaded and feathered gown, which shouldn't be elegant logically, achieves just that: Old Hollywood Glamor. Well done on all level.s