Creepin' Me Out

Who's got the biggest noggin' in Rock n' Roll? If you answered John Mayer -- you'd be right. Holy shit -- look at that thing? It's like an orange on a toothpick.

American Slut

If American Idol were a contest to determine the sluttiest newcomer Antonella Barba would be a shoe-in. Looks like the screeners at Idol haven't heard of a little thing called a Google search... Had they run a check on Antonella, they might have found out she's quite possibly the worst role-model for teens and certainly anything but an "American Idol."

She made it through the first round of cuts on Thursday's Idol, but Point Pleasant, N.J., native Antonella Barba has another hurdle to overcome. Scandalous photos of the 20-year-old have been leaked on the Web...FOX declined to comment on the matter (reported earlier this week by Access Hollywood), and Idol producer Nigel Lythgoe tells EW.com he was unaware of the photographs...Meanwhile, TMZ.com reports that Barba's name was more popular than Britney Spears on AOL Search on Thursday. [people]

If you wanna take a look for yourself, click here.

Now, I ain't saying you have to be a squeaky clean mama's angel to be American Idol -- but for chrissakes people -- if you do tacky shit, and on camera no less -- know this: IT WILL GET OUT. And ultimately, it will make you look ridiculous.

Some Observations on Tuesday Night's Idol

Uncanny... ain't it?

It's nice to see the cast of
Doogie Howser found work again...

Lenny Kravitz + Jon Bon Jovi = Yum

Why Phil Stacey should always wear a hat...

J&M's Idol 2007 Picks for Top 12

We're getting our picks in early, folks... and letting time tell us just how right we were... So, now, without further ado:

(Cast offs are X'd out. ;)

J&M bring on the hate

Well, the American Idol competition is finally underway and J&M have found the target of their venomous hatred. Sundance Head. So annoying, we just wanna punch him in the face. More hatin' comin' soon. (Melissa)


Dear Lord, what is all the fuss about with this bag of hot air? He looks like the singer of that dopey band I can never remember the name of (for good reason) that had that obnoxious song: "Hey now, you're a rockstar, Get your game on..." Ugh... Maybe that's why I can't stand him. But Meat Loaf better get booted Thursday night... or I'm gonna be bustin some Fox ass. (Joan)

Cah-reepy!

These are some of the creepiest things I've ever seen. Some are better than others but they all deserve a look. Here are some of the best:

Baby Daddy Census

One baby, so many baby daddies...

Contestant #1: Howard K. Stern.
Anna's lawyer and legal partner (in the Bahamas only).
No one believes they had sex.
Therefore the likelihood that he's the baby daddy is slim to none.
Some people even believe that he had a hand in her son Daniel's death.


Contestant #2: Larry Birkhead.
Photographer.
Anna Nicole's last public relationship prior to
'marrying' Howard K. Stern. Birkhead has continuously
demanded a paternity test from day one.
He's the likeliest candidate for Dannilyn's baby daddy.

Contestant #3: Frederic von Anhalt.
Zsa Zsa Gabor's current umpteenth husband.
Claims he had a 10-year relationship with Anna Nicole and even
petitioned to legally adopt her (which, in case you haven't already
come to this conclusion amounts to GROSS).

Contestant #4: Alexander Denk.
Most recent baby daddy.
Anna Nicole's bodyguard claims that he and Anna
had a sexual relationship around the time
Anna would have conceived Dannilyn.

Contestant #5: Daniel Smith.
Anna Nicole's son. Some people think that Daniel may have killed
himself because he thought or knew he was Dannilyn's father.
People are also surmising that Anna Nicole killed herself
for the same reason. Although interesting, and even grosser
than contestant numbers 1 and 3), quite unlikely.

General Consensus Reports: Stern is a Pussy

When Howard Stern got divorced, he said he'd never marry again. Even though he entered into a commited relationship just one year after his divorce was finalized, he still maintained marriage wasn't for him. And he kept to it, for several years... until he eventually became a huge pussy and caved:

Howard Stern has made the most out of Valentine's Day: The shock jock is engaged to his longtime girlfriend, model Beth Ostrosky, he announced on his Sirius Satellite radio show Wednesday. Stern, 53, said that he proposed to Ostrosky, 34, Tuesday night and that she said, "Yes." "Do you want your Valentine's Day gift now?" MTV.com reports Stern said on the air Wednesday, re-enacting his proposal for his listeners. When Ostrosky said she wanted it, Stern says he ordered her to strip down – despite her protests that she was too "fat" to do that....Once naked, Ostrosky was given a 5.2 carat diamond ring. "I love you. You're everything to me," Stern said he told her. "This is so gay. ... I'm asking you to spend the rest of your life with me." Stern also told his radio listeners that the engagement will be a long one, because actually getting married is something that he and Ostrosky can't think about right now. [people]

aww, now there's a story to pass down to the kids. So classy.

Whaaa?

I saw him on The View yesterday... and they mentioned his gf and showed a picture of them and everything seemed just fine... so wtf is People talking about???

Hugh Grant and girlfriend Jemima Khan have ended their relationship, Grant's publicist, Robert Garlock, confirms to PEOPLE exclusively. "Hugh and Jemima have decided to split amicably," says Garlock...Grant and Khan were recently together at the London and Los Angeles premieres of his new film, Music and Lyrics...In an appearance on ABC's The View that aired Friday morning, Grant brought up Khan when talking about how he's become increasingly "fussy" about fashion: "I used to be a man who played rugby and was relatively butch, and now I watch my girlfriend about to go out for the evening and I'll say, 'The brown shoes, I think.' " When Barbara Walters noted that he'd been "domesticated" by Khan, whom she described as "pretty attractive and pretty intelligent," Grant said, "I agree with you, I think she's a cracker. She doesn't need my help anyway." Joy Behar asked, "She's a what?" Replied Grant, "She's a cracker – but that's something different in America." [people]

I don't buy it. He seemed blissfully happy.

BREAKING NEWS: BritBrit Goes Batshit Insane

OK, perhaps it's not Breaking News that Britney's batshit insane, but she certainly upped the ante this time; Britney's Bringing Crazy Back:

Britney Spears checked into a rehab facility and then abruptly checked out, a source confirms to PEOPLE. And then on Friday, she returned to Southern California – and she shaved her head completely bald. On Tuesday, her former personal assistant, Felicia Culotta, wrote in a letter to Hollywood.com's That Other Blog that Spears's friends and family were trying to get her help, but were not having much luck. "There's just so much you can do to help a person," Culotta wrote. "I cannot convince her in ANY way to love herself. ... I cannot save her from herself, nor can I commit her to any type of treatment program against her wishes and will. I am throwing my hands up and realizing that I am helpless over another." [people]

A source at the salon says, "Britney came in and said she wanted them to shave her head." According to the source, when the hairdresser refused, "Britney grabbed the hair clipper and started doing it herself."...We were there again when at about 8:30 p.m. Britney arrived at Body & Soul Tattoo in Sherman Oaks. Store employee Emily Wynne-Hughes tells Usmagazine.com that Britney arrived at the parlor agitated and, when asked why she shaved her head, replied, "I don't want anyone touching me. I'm tired of everybody touching me." Hughes adds, "She wasn't making sense at all and you could tell she's not in a good place at all, and that she is totally freaking out." Hughes tells us Britney then got a black-white-and-pink cross tattooed on her lower hip and red-and-pink lips on her wrist. The price: $80. Britney was not an ideal subject, however. "She was a nightmare to deal with," says Hughes. "She was screaming and flipping out from the pain and wiggling her body all around."
[us weekly]

So, how much time is gonna pass before dopey teens everywhere start shaving their heads?

A case of the giggles

Ann Curry lost her composure after hearing the soundbyte of Tim Hardaway saying he hates gays. After Ann breaks out into giggles, the rest of the gang follows suit. It's a case of the girlie giggles.

Extreme close-up

Hope you're not eating... Presenting Ms. Viera.

Media Whore

Howard K. Stern granted ET and The Insider an interview the day after Anna died. He supposedly got paid a million bucks for the interview. What a gross creep.

Stop the madness

Here are TC and Katie grossing everyone out at some Grammy party. Lord, why is Oprah still giving TC the time of day??? And Katie... Homegirl needs a brush, some sleep, and blemish creme. She shoulda borrowed some from Tom.

Yikes!

TMZ claims to have photos of the contents of Anna's fridge in the Bahamas. You can see Slim-Fast and Methadone and some other injections in the fridge. Next to the fridge is a box of TrimSpa. TMZ claims that it has 100% verified the authenticity of the photos. Click on image for a larger view.

Not fierce

By any means. First off, it looks like she has two spiders on her face and second, is she wearing a body stocking underneath the frock she stole from Mrs. Roper???

Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude (help·info) is a German word meaning 'pleasure taken from someone else's misfortune.' [wikipedia]

Yeah, that's the right word to describe how I felt when I saw this:

Despite Tara Reid's best efforts to revamp her image, the perennial party girl fell back into old habits over Super Bowl weekend. Literally. The "American Pie" blondie tumbled right off the red carpet onto the sand at the Ocean Drive Magazine/Market America bash on Saturday night. A spywitness tells us the cause of the fall was a missed step at the end of the carpet, but the red-faced Reid immediately blamed her friends. Said our source: "They were at least 5 feet away from her but she yelled 'You guys f-g tripped me.' Everyone was speechless." Later in the evening, Reid ran into more problems when she insisted on entering the VIP area behind the stage at the Pontiac event where Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony were relaxing. She was denied outright. [NY Daily News]


LOL. ahh, sweet, sweet Schadenfreude.

Mile High Club

This story made me freak the frig out... Now I'm wondering, why didn't I pursue being a flight attendent as a career choice? This certainly would have gotten me over my fear of flying a helluva a lot sooner...

A QANTAS flight attendant faces the sack after being accused of having sex with British actor Ralph Fiennes in an aircraft toilet while flying from Australia to India....In a confidential report to Qantas management obtained by The Sunday Telegraph, Ms Robertson is accused of chatting to Fiennes during the flight and being seen exiting the same toilet moments apart. She claims Fiennes, 44, became "amorous" towards her in the toilet... Qantas staff who were aware of the incident said last night the couple were caught after crew members waited outside the toilet. [news.com]

Damn... Damn... Damn... That lucky-ass bitch. Well, seriously though -- what the hell else are you going to do during a gazillion house flight to Aussieland? I mean, I bet the entire plane was one giant clusterfuck. People gotta pass the time. Damn.

Anna Nicole... RIP

One of the last pictures taken,
during an Entertainment Tonight interview,
prior to Anna's untimely death.

The Trimspa site has a nice tribute up to the unforgettable and controversial blonde bombshell, stating:

Whippany, NJ, February 8, 2007 – Today, Anna Nicole Smith’s grief stricken and tumultuous personal life came to an end. Anna came to our Company as a customer, but she departs it as a friend. While life for Anna Nicole was not easy these past few months, she held dear her husband, Howard K. Stern, her daughter, Dannielynn Hope, her most cherished friends, beloved dogs, and finally, her work with TRIMSPA.

Anna knew both the joy of giving life, and the heartache of losing a child. We pray that she is granted the peace that eluded her more recent days on earth, and that she find comfort in the presence of her son, Daniel.

-- Alex Goen, CEO and Founder, TRIMSPA

...but how can she RIP? As if Anna Nicole's life, especially the latter part, wasn't filled with controversy and tragedy -- so has her death been filled with drama and unanswered questions....

...three men are set to battle it out to prove their paternity of Dannielynn - a baby that holds the key to a potential $475m (£247m) fortune...Even before Smith's death, two men - her former boyfriend Larry Birkhead and her attorney-turned-lover Howard K Stern - had claimed to be the child's father. On Friday, just hours after the Playboy model's death, Prince Frederick von Anhalt, the husband of actress Zsa Zsa Gabor, became the third man to claim paternity rights. A birth certificate currently lists attorney Stern as the girl's father, but his paternity has been challenged by Birkhead, whose lawyer asked that DNA be taken from Smith's corpse to resolve a paternity case. While a judge in Los Angeles refused to order the DNA test, he ordered that Smith's body be preserved until a hearing on February 20. Experts say the decision over who receives custody of Dannielynn could determine the child's inheritance....Smith's death, like her life, remains shrouded in mystery. An autopsy on Friday did not reveal what killed her, although police have admitted they found no signs that her sudden death involved a crime. [the scotsman]

I tend to think the baby is Larry Birkhead's...hands down. At the very least, he should be granted the paternity test he's been fighting for. And how the hell this Prince Federick guy enters into it...well, I simply can't process. One thing is clear: It's totally outlandish to expect anyone to believ that Howard K. Stern is Dannilynn's daddy. Then there's this:

A family law expert tells TMZ that disposition will get sticky depending on what happens with the paternity suit and whether or not Anna and Howard's Bahamian commitment ceremony is deemed legally binding by a probate court. One complex issue is that Howard cannot legally be the executor and a beneficiary of the will. [tmz]

What happened here?

Something must have happened to Brittany Murphy's sanity and eyesight that led her to put on this hodgepodge of what can't even be put into words. Is she on crack? She must be going home from the crackden.

Before you get on my ass

About how mean this may be, I found it somewhere and had to share...

Bam gets hitched

...and he got all dressed up, real purty:

We are the shit

Even Wheel knows what's good:

...and the winner of Oddest Couple is:

Matthew Perry and Meg Ryan??? Wha??? How the hell did these two hook up?

Meg Ryan and Matthew Perry have sparked rumors they are romantically involved after being seen getting cozy in Los Angeles...[Perry] has been a regular guest at the actress' gated home in Bel Air, California. A source tells American publication Us Weekly Perry was spotted arriving at Ryan's home on Saturday night at 8:30pm, saying she "had the gates open, just waiting for him." Perry, 37, and Ryan, 45, were also see dining out at The Brentwood restaurant in Los Angeles over the holidays. An eyewitness says, "They sat in a dark corner booth. Meg asked that the spotlight on their table to be turned down." [imdb]

Marc Anthony should be prohibited from going onstage with J.Lo

In order to prevent spectacles like these from happening, it should be in the contract as clause numero uno that Marc Anthony is not allowed to join J.Lo onstage and she isn't allowed to invite him onstage to perform with her as well. Here they are grossing everyone out at some Super Bowl party in Miami.

Jackie Collins has spoken

I can't say I disagree with what Jackie is saying. LA does have some hot looking woman, even if they are fake for the most part, but then again, so is Posh. The woman looks like she's made out of wax, for cryin' out loud. And so she better be on the lookout. I'm sure there are loads o' ladies out on the prowl for the hotness that is Becks.

British novelist Jackie Collins has warned former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham to keep an eye on husband David when the couple move to Los Angeles this summer.

The author, 69, believes soccer superstar David will be approached by hordes of beautiful women if he achieves his ambition of becoming a star in the US, and she advises Victoria to watch out for these “predatorial” women.

David has signed to play for soccer team L.A. Galaxy and he’s rumoured to also be pursuing a film career.

Collins says, “There are so many girls in L.A. that are more beautiful than any on screen and they are predators. If David becomes a movie star, and a lot of people are saying he should, Victoria should know the dangers. You can’t leave men in this town on their own. Not more than a day.” The Beckhams have been plagued by persistent rumours of infidelity during their stay in Madrid, Spain.

I don't think we're ready for this jelly

Harry Potter grew up. He's going to be in the production of Equus in which he tortures horses or something. There has been a mixed reaction to these photos, some people wanna hit that, and some (I'm totally in this group) are kinda grossed out by them. Shouldn't he be studying wizardry under a baggy cloak?





Joan, is this the pic you're talking about? Still, I can't bring myself to think he's even remotely hot.

Muppet hair

WTF is up with Mena Suvari's bangs??? And the outfit? And the nails??? I can't even articulate my snarky comments, it's so bad.

You oughta know that this hotness is single

Let's see if it sticks this time. And let's hope, for his sake, that Alanis doesn't write a song that rips him apart like she did Dave Coulier of Full House fame.

Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morissette have called it quits – and this time, it's official.

Their reps, Dvora Vener and Meredith O'Sullivan, tell PEOPLE in a joint statement, "Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morissette have mutually decided to end their engagement. They remain close friends and continue to have the utmost love and admiration for each other. They ask that their privacy be respected surrounding this personal matter."

Morissette, 32, and Reynolds, 30, had previously split in June, a source close to the couple told PEOPLE at the time, but within weeks they were seen walking in Vancouver, holding hands in L.A. and, on Oct. 1, kissing in New York City.

The singer and the Smokin' Aces actor, both Canadian-born, met in 2002 and dated for two years before becoming engaged in 2004.

They never announced a wedding date. "We're just really enjoying this [engagement] phase," Morissette told PEOPLE in 2005. Added Reynolds, "We feel like we're already married." [People]