Golden Globes 2012: Worst Dressed

Better late than never. It's that time. Time to investigate just WTF some H-wood starlets were thinking when they got dressed for the 2012 Golden Globes. This year's WORST DRESSED, in no particular order, are:

ANGELINA JOLIE in Versace. I do not, I repeat, do not care who put her on their Best Dressed list -- because they're obviously smoking the ganga. Like I said the night of, it looks like someone let Jolie get into Julia Sugarbaker's closet. The stark white against the red is just so damn 80s -- and not in a fun, ironic way. The severely pulled back up do and the red, red lips -- just tooooooo much. Dial it down, killer!

JULIANNA MARGOLIES. Here's another one who ended up on the Best Dressed list. Pardon? She looks like a big purple mummy. It's horrible. Just horrible.

PIPER PARABO. Oh, boy. Someone's stylist is out of work now and might need to switch careers after this giant, cream puff of a fiasco. And, rightly so. 

SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR in Monique Lhullier. Yes, you read that right. Monique Lhullier, usually associated with the cream of the award show gown crop, is responsible for this hot mess. This is obviously from Monique's Blue Period. And, I hope she gets over those blues STAT!

ZOOEY DESCHANEL. The main problem here? She listened to the clang of people telling her she needs to portray a more glamorous side and ditch her playful quirkiness. WRONG. The reason she's not pulling off this dress is simply because it's not Zooey. Hope she goes back to who she is and what she does best.

Live Blogging the 2012 Golden Globes Red Carpet

A lot's riding on this red carpet. Let's hope H-wood brings it, unlike the last few nights of award show red carpets. And, now -- since George Clooney's super early and got things rolling to a fast start, let's get this party started:

Kelly Osbourne. I...kinda...like...this. I'm still deciding. It's a great color (though nothing goes w/that odd shade of grey she's dyed her hair). The lines on the sleeves may make it a bit unbalanced, but overall, pretty good.

Piper Parabo. Um, that's a whole lotta dress right there. 

Julianna Margolies. She needs to shake things up. I'm getting bored of this sleek, pulled back look.

Claire Danes. Front and back, since this dress is dramatically different from one side to the other. The back is much, much better. She should back into the auditorium.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but Nicole Richie looks great. Something about this beaded silver number and her hairstyle is just working. Go figure.

Jessica Chastain. This reads much prettier on camera, but falls flat in stills. If you look closely, it has a really lovely pearlwork design. Not crazy about the high neck, though.

Octavia Spencer. One of my favorites so far. Really lovely muted lavender. The silhouette is perfect for her and the draping is really flattering. 

Melissa McCarthy. Again, a really good silhouette. Great neckline, but I'd love if this were a different color. Maybe a jewel tone. Something rich. This color is just drab.

Sarah Michelle Gellar -- oh, this is rich. You'll love this. Her 2-year-old daughter helped her pick out this dress -- and it shows! She said she didn't try on many dresses for the event, and clearly she should have. This is a hot mess and contender for Worst Dressed. It's only 6:46pm. Ooof.  I don't think Buffy would even fight her way off the Worst Dressed list this year.

Sarah Hyland in vintage Dolce and Gabbana. This is adorable. Nuff said. Love the lace. Love the sash. Love it.

Gotta say, Stacy Kiebler's got some plain taste. But, I guess when you got George Clooney on your arm, that's the only accessory you need.

Sofia Vegara. I seriously don't know how she's walking down the carpet in this Morticia Adams getup. Holy crap, her knees much be chafing something fierce. 

Diane Lane in Reem Acra. GOR-G-E-OUS. So feminine, so glittery, lovely lines and detail. Her hair, so Veronica Lake-retro. Just really well done. Definitely a Best Dressed contender.

Shailine Woodley. You can't see it in the image, but when that overskirt is lifted or floats away from the underskirt, the beadwork on the shift beneath is outstanding. The dress sits a little too low on her frame, but the detail at the neckline is just exquisite.

Zooey Deschanel in a one-of-a-kind Prada that's a one-of-a-kind disaster. Not.a.fan.

Viola Davis working that high-cut slit. Great color. Great lines.

 Charlize Theron in Dior. Incredible. The image  doesn't do it justice. It's perfection on camera. From the jeweled headband to the flourishing bow at the waist. Gorg.

Selma Hayek. Again, another dress that doesn't photograph well. The detail is amazing. The plaits of gold in the bustier and the vertical beading in the skirt, just amazing.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Yes, I'm glad she's not wearing black. But this dress feels so 80s, like she stole it from Julia Sugarbaker's rack on the Designing Women set. I dunno. Love the midsection detail, but otherwise, it's skeezing me out.

Evan Rachel Wood. Now, this is just the opposite. Looks like shit on camera and gorg in photographs. I'm not a big fan of feathers but the iridescence is just so dreamy.

Holy shit, I'm about the eat my words. Tilda Swinton is rocking the red carpet! I cannot believe my eyes! She ditched the pant suit for a feminine silhouette in a color that totally compliments her skin tone. I'm stunned.

I think this might be one of my worst dressed. --Melissa

Golden Globes 2012 Nominees: Our Picks

Best film, drama: The Descendants, The Help, Hugo, The Ides of March, Moneyball, War Horse.
 
Best film, comedy or musical: 50/50, The Artist, Bridesmaids, Carnage, Midnight in Paris, My Week With Marilyn.

Best actor, drama: George Clooney in The Descendants, Brad Pitt in Moneyball, Ryan Gosling in The Ides of March, Michael Fassbender in Shame, Leonardo DiCaprio in J. Edgar.

Best actress, drama: Glenn Close in Albert Nobbs, Viola Davis in The Help,  Rooney Mara in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Meryl Streep in The Iron Lady, Tilda Swinton in We Need to Talk About Kevin.

Best director: Woody Allen for Midnight in Paris, George Clooney for The Ides of March, Michael Hazavicius for The Artist, Alexander Payne for The Descendants, Martin Scorsese for Hugo.

Best actor, comedy or musical: Jean Dujardin in The Artist, Brendan Gleeson in The Guard, Joseph Gordon-Levitt in 50/50, Ryan Gosling in Crazy, Stupid, Love, Owen Wilson in Midnight in Paris.

Best actress, comedy or musical: Jodie Foster in Carnage, Charlize Theron in Young Adult, Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids, Michelle Williams in My Week with Marilyn, Kate Winslet in Carnage.

Best supporting actress: Berenice Bejo in The Artist, Jessica Chastain in The Help, Janet McTeer in Albert Nobbs, Octavia Spencer in The Help, Shailene Woodley in The Descendants.

Best supporting actor: Kenneth Branagh in My Week With Marilyn, Albert Brooks in Drive, Jonah Hill in Moneyball, Viggo Mortensen in A Dangerous Method, Christopher Plummer in Beginners.

Best animated feature: The Adventures of Tintin, Arthur Christmas, Cars 2, Puss 'n Boots, Rango.

Critic's Choice Awards 2012: Red Carpet Showdown

By comparison, The People's Choice Awards and The Critic's Choice Awards (and the upcoming Independent Spirit Awards) are far more casual affairs than the Golden Globes and Oscars. That being said, it doesn't mean it's OK for stars to show up as if they've just rolled out of bed. The trend for 2012 red carpet fashion seems to be: I don't give a shit.

Case in point:

 Oh, Diane Kruger. I love how you consistently get it drastically wrong all.the.damn.time. This whole "taking chances for high fashion" thing really has to stop. Everything from the messy up do to the strangled bust line to the positively vom-inducing color combination is pure disgusting perfection. Well done, as always.

OK. First things first. Tilda Swinton should NEVER stand next to Charlize Theron. Tilda "my body rejects anything but a pant suit" Swinton is a hard sell. I've seen her look good once, and even that is a hazy memory, on the red carpet. As for Charlize, this dress is weird. The choppy details and brash edging make it look tough and not soft. Not sold.

What's not to love about Emma Stone? This dress, for one. It's a little too South Beach poolside for me. I think it ages her, too. Maybe if it were shorter? I dunno. It's just a miss and not a hit, which she's usually quite capable of mastering.

Stacy Kiebler -- I like the neckline. Apparently George likes the climb. She's a tall one. And as far as his arm candy, he really needs to start dating in his age range. Would it kill him to date a 40 year old? 

Michelle Williams always takes risks. Given. But simply removing that swathe of black at the bottom would have made this dress an A+. Instead, it makes it an F. 
 

Oh, the humanity! For Fanning's sake, that is one seriously bad dress. It's like everything bad about the 70s got drunk and threw up all over her. And by great Olson's beard -- that dress is a PucciPity! And whoever the genius was to have these two pose together needs to be put down. I need to unsee this immediately.

Jessica Chastain, by a very small margin, is  -- well, I can't say Best Dressed -- of the evening. I'll say OK Dressed. The dress lacks balance and her hair is too severe. But, this is head and shoulders above the rest. And, that's not saying much.

Pray the Fashion Gods are called in to work over time for tomorrow's Golden Globes, cause I cannot handle another piss poor red carpet display. WORK IT, PEOPLE!

People's Choice Awards 2012: Red Carpet Roundup

I have one word for last night's People's Choice red carpet: tacky. It was like an S&M convention pounced itself on the Nokia Theatre, trampled on the red carpet and beat all onlookers into submission. There was one shining exception, thank goodness, to claim the title of Best Dressed. So, let's tear these starlets apart, shall we?

Ashley Green donning the subtle S&M look, short form. It's all too harsh. While the cut and design of this dress may be flattering, the stark black makes and sheen of the skirt fabric makes it look cheap, like a $2 whore. Next!

Jennifer Lawrence, who's obviously been caught in a net. Maybe she's up for the Best Cameo on Deadliest Catch? No excuse is good enough for sporting this atrocity.

Juilianne Hough. Much like the ever-classy mullet, this dress was all business in the front and a party in the back -- if that party is at Scores on a Saturday night.

Lea Michelle who apparently didn't have anything to wear and at the very last minute decided to rip off every last tassel from her drapes and lamp shades and fashion it into a makeshift dress. This isn't a Project Runway challenge, sweetie.

I don't even know who this broad is. She's probably DemiVanessaSelena LovatoHudgensLohan for all I care. What I do care about is this God awful schmatte. She's not wearing that dress, that dress is wearing her...in all the wrong ways.

Vanessa Hudgens as Kiss of the Spiderwoman. Really? A web motif? Is it Halloween? No, dumbass. It's award show season. If you honestly expect not to get reamed for this, you're dumber than you look.

Ginnifer Goodwin, THANK GOD FOR YOU! You were the only one who dared to do something different, something bold and something with a classy retro feel with a modern edge. If not for you there would be no Best Dressed this evening.

With a name like that...

Beyonce and Jay-Z are proud parents. Interesting choice of name:

Blue Ivy Carter went home from the hospital with mom and dad Beyonce and Jay-Z early Tuesday, Lenox Hill Hospital officials confirmed to the Daily News and E! News. [yahoo/omg]

Blue Ivy Carter. Well, she's either gonna end up a stripper or write crap romance novels. Either way, great job on the name picking. Two thumbs up!

Looks like my casting job is done

Wanted: three uber annoying douchebags to play the three douches in The Three Douches.

Quick, someone wind her up

PoshBot looks like she's winding down. Good thing Eva Longwhoria was right there to catch Baby Harper before she fell from PoshBot's arms. Someone bring the charger around back and let's bring this robot back to life!

I dunno know who the crazy lunatic is here

But one of these two is a sick fuck. Maybe both -- that's the only reason I can find for why SJP would subject herself to looking like a complete asshole in these Phillip Treacy "hats".