The Lost convo

Joan and I are obsessed with Lost. We talked about it today.

Me: Have you been watching Lost? I'm utterly and completely obsessed.

Joan: Omg. Tell me about it. Didn't it get way friggin creepy fast right at the end, w/those "others" coming out of the jungle waving weapons!!! Omg. Amazing.

Me: OMG. It was like the Night of the Living Dead. Holy, I just cannot get over how freakin' good that show is...

Joan: I know. I'm so hooked. What's the deal w/the guy in the "fallout shelter"?

Me: He's the same guy that Jack encountered in the stadium way back in the day when he was racing up and down the stairs. But what he's doing there??? Who the F knows.

Who's your fave character? Locke is mine for his mind and the way he handles things. Sawyer, for completely different (carnal) reasons.

Joan: Yeah, Sawyer's pretty damn hot. Some bod on him. Woo. But I like Jack. He annoys me on the show a little, but he's so cute. And I like the chemistry between him and Kate. I could deal less w/LOTR guy. Enough already.

Me: Holy moly. Sawyer with his bod and his dirty face and hair. I'm not one for the greasy, dirty look but Sawyer with his aggressive, but sometimes softie, ways is really damn hot.

I like Jack too. Definitely a cutie pie. But annoying sometimes with his way of dealing with things or not dealing with them.
 
Kate's ok. I'm pretty neutral toward her.
 
I liked the LOTR dude in the first season before he got obsessive about taking care and protecting the preggers girls. True, enough already with the "I'll never let anything hurt you ever again" crap.
 
I'm liking the Korean guy, Jin, more and more even though he started off as an asshole.
 
Joan: I think Jin is hot. But he's a total dick. He's getting better though. That one episode redeemed him, when he expliained why he was going on the raft.

Me: He was an ass in the beginning but he truly does love and care for his wife. I'm not totally hating him now. But how frustrating is it that he was captured by The Others and can't tell Sawyer and Michael about it?!?!?!

Joan: I think, as aggravating as that is, it was such a clever plot device on the part of the writers. There is such amazing detail... Have you seen this craziness??? The Lost Numbers

Me: I want to open that link, but will it give anything beyond last night's episode away. Any spoilers? Cause I don't want to see any spoilers!

Joan: Nope. It's just a count of the times the numbers have appeared...

Stick-Figure in a Box...No assembly required

Nicole Richie is the new Halloween skeleton decoration.





And Joan, with her insight, totally nailed it... Her response to the Richie pics:

"She’s ripping off tori... And I no likey."

And it's true:

D-List is for D-vorce

Holy shit, who else is it gonna be??? --Melissa

ET has learned that comedienne and self-proclaimed "D-list" celebrity Kathy Griffin has filed for divorce from her husband of four years, Matthew Moline. The papers were filed in L.A. Superior Court on September 23 and cited the ever-popular "irreconcilable differences."

The Chicago-born funnywoman married the computer consultant in February of 2001 (although the court papers cite the date as 2/14/91) and ET was there to capture the ceremony in which Brooke Shields, Kathy's "Suddenly Susan" co-star, was her maid of honor. Kathy also recently came to ET to film her adventures in cosmetic surgery and to share her story about how she might lose the sight in her right eye due to a rare condition called epithelial ingrowth, which she developed after her third LASIK surgery.

Known for her great passion for reality TV (she won "Celebrity Mole" on ABC and hosted the NBC reality series "Average Joe" as well as the MTV series "Kathy's So-Called Reality"), the former sitcom staple's most recent TV project was the "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List" reality series on Bravo, which featured Moline as himself. The couple have no children and Kathy is requesting that the court terminate its ability to award spousal support to Moline, with property rights to be determined. [ET]

BushMurray: It's Ova

Looks like another one bites the dust. --Melissa

Chad Michael Murray, 24, and Sophia Bush, 23, have separated after five months of marriage, PEOPLE has learned. A spokesperson for Bush confirmed the split, but offered no further details on the relationship between the couple, who star together on "One Tree Hill."

"This is a difficult and unfortunate situation," said Bush in a statement. "I am glad this is being resolved sooner rather than later."

"I am saddened to announce that Sophia and I are separating," said Murray. "This is a very difficult time for me."

Murray and Bush exchanged handwritten vows during their wedding on April 16 at Santa Monica's Hotel Casa Del Mar before 200 guests.

The couple got engaged in May 2004 in Australia when Murray popped the question on a tennis court adorned with 20 bouquets of roses and 500 lit candles spelling out a special message for Bush. "It's a really, really important moment for a woman, so I wanted to do what I could do to make it special," Murray said at the time.

The pair met on the set of their WB show and began dating in 2003. [People]

Goodbye Brad. Hello Geoff.

When Jennifer Aniston announced she was ready to start dating again on the premiere of Oprah's new season, she should have said she's been ready and is dating...

Jennifer Aniston has reportedly fallen for her latest onscreen love interest. The former Friends star, who split from husband Brad Pitt at the beginning of the year, is dating hunky actor Geoff Stults, who plays her boyfriend in new movie The Break-Up, according to US tabloid National Enquirer. A set source says, "During the final weeks of filming in Chicago, she (Aniston) flirted outrageously with Geoff. Everyone couldn't help noticing the sexual undercurrent between them... At a buff six foot three (inches), Geoff looks like a super-sized version of Brad." [IMDB]

Coo-Coo-Cah-Choo Mrs. Robinson -- Geoff's a mere babe... Born in 1977. For those of you who think Geoff looks familiar... He's of 7th Heaven fame. (I think Melissa might actually torture herself by watching this on occasion.) "Celebrity" runs in the family, his brother George is also an actor. The two did an episode of Trading Spaces some time back (which I tortured myself by watching). --Joan

How do you spell stupid?

Answer: Sienna Miller.

Jude Law whisked Sienna Miller off for an evening at London hotel The Savoy last night [9/15], sparking fierce speculation their romance is back on. The pair were photographed coming out of the Wyndham's Theatre holding hands after Miller's performance in As You Like It, before they leaped into a waiting car which sped them straight to the glitzy hotel. An onlooker tells London newspaper the Evening Standard, "The two of them came out looking very relaxed and happy, hand in hand. When they left she looked really coy but pleased and he basically looked very happy with himself - like he'd finally won her back. Jude whisked her off to the Savoy." [imdb]

...and they said it would last forever

Jesus. And she had the nerve to do a special on E! about celebrity weddings, including her own. Sometimes, I think these people have weddings just to throw a party...

"Tori Spelling has split from her husband Charlie Shanian, after just 14 months of marriage. According to Us TV show Entertainment Tonight, Spelling and Shanian, who met while doing a play together three years ago, have been living separately since early last month. The couple exchanged nuptials on 3 July 2004 at Spelling's expansive family home in Los Angeles. Spelling's father, TV tycoon Aaron Spelling, walked her down the aisle while a reported 400 guests looked on. The lavish affair cost a reported $1,700 a person. [imdb]

This week's installment of: WTF?

So it would seem that Kenny Chesney is too busy for marriage. Hmm. Well. Maybe, he should take off the hat once in a while, since it appears to be cutting off circulation to his teeny, tiny brain.

"Kenny Chesney believes he had "too much" on his hands to make his marriage to Renee Zellweger a success....Chesney admits he struggled to balance his personal life with his hugely successful career [that's debatable --joan]. He tells Country Weekly, "I'm all right. I'm good. There have been better times, but I'll be okay. I hit everything so hard this year [connotation intended --joan]. I had the biggest tour I've ever done, I had a record to finish that was real important to me, and, of course, I had something new in my personal life and I was trying to do that too [note he used the word "something", not "someone". interesting. --joan]. It really ended up being too much. I'm tired right now, but by next year, I'll be excited to get back to it [back to what? marrying women for 4 months and then getting an annulment? --joan]. And it'll be about the music again, not about the sideshow." [oooh, "sideshow' -- wow-- that's harsh. comparing her to a circus. yeesh. --joan] In court papers, Zellweger listed "fraud" as the reason for the break-up. [IMDB]

Smell that? Someone's making excuses...

So THAT'S how she stays so thin!

Hey Melissa, Your favorite store is looking for a new spokesmodel...

Heroin Sheek Supermodel swaps crank for blow...

"Swedish fashion chain H&M have dropped disgraced supermodel Kate Moss after a British newspaper published photographs of the beauty allegedly snorting cocaine. The photos in Thursday's Daily Mirror newspaper appear to show Moss indulging in the hard drug during a recording session with on/off boyfriend Pete Doherty and his band Babyshambles in a London studio. Despite Moss' apologies to H&M and their initial acceptance of her regrets, the clothing store have now decided to remove Moss from their $1.8 million advertising campaign. A statement from the company reads, "H&M is strongly against drugs and for many years has actively supported the drug preventing organization Mentor Foundation. After having evaluated the situation, H&M has decided that a campaign with Kate Moss is inconsistent with H&M's clear dissociation of drugs."[IMDB]

See what happens when you leave Johnny Depp... Tsk. Tsk. Advice to Kate: EAT SOMETHING, DAMMIT.

Oooh, that's harsh...

Looks like it wasn't marriage that put Rebecca off, but John himself.

"John Stamos has given his ex-wife Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell's wedding plans his blessing. Romijn and O'Connell announced their engagement earlier this week - just seven months after she divorced Stamos, officially ending their six year union. When quizzed by PageSix.com, Stamos said, "I wish them nothing but the best." [IMDB]

That's gotta suck.

Holy shizzz....someone's lookin' H-O-T

Joaquin, Joaquin, Joaquin...

2005 Emmy Fashion Rundown

I really don't get all the hype around Eva Longoria. I don't think she's all that cute or hot. And this dress is kinda tacky.

You said it, Melis. She had this dress created just for her... Which basically proves she's tacky and tasteless. Once a soap star, always a soap star. --Joan



I love the color and the dress is wispy and flowy. Well done.

Couldn't agree more. While I've been sick to death of the sight of her, this was a refreshing change. --Joan.



Ok, what the hell is going on here? Why does Macy Gray choose to look like shit time and time again? With all her money and services at her disposal, it blows my mind why she would want to look like this. And does she think this looks good?

That dress it...it...hurts me. But I have to say, I'm digging the hair. --Joan.



I love the empire waist and the color of this. Very classy. And it doesn't make Teri look like the skeleton we've been seeing her look like lately.

I don't know what it is... but I can't stand her. For five minutes, I liked her. Then she got on my nerves again. I hope I can watch the new season. Cause this perky bitch is rubbing me the wrong way. --Joan.



Awwwww...cute Summer. Love the metallic dress. She's so tiny yet the dress doesn't overpower her.


I like this dress although I think it's a little too orange. It makes it look like Mariska OD'ed on the self-tanner this morning. But otherwise, an interesting and bold color choice.


Love, love, love this. The gorgeous, rich, deep green against her light skin and radiant red hair is an awesome color combination. Plus her tall stature really carries this well.

She's the worst bitch going, but she looks fab. Extremely well done. Her stylist should be proud. --Joan.



Very pretty. Love the contrast of the dark hair, dark eye makeup, and the richness of the red. Great red.


One of my favorite dresses of the night. Love the color and the halter neckline is beautiful. The lace and the sash are just divine.

Love the color, and style -- but her boobs need a little more support... --Joan.



Awwwww....Dollface! Stunning dress and she's got the height and slimness to pull it off despite her young age. But the color is a little too light for her coloring. Light people should wear deep, rich colors. This dress in a copper might have worked better.

One of the prettier dresses of the night. Pretty from far away and close up... Fab. --Joan.



Blythe, so classy, so appropriate for her age.

This broad's a class act. And her speech was fabber. :) --Joan.



As stunning as she is, this dress shortchanges Charlize. It does absolutely nothing for her. It takes away from the height and classy beauty she has. But Stewart is hot.

Ugh, she looks like "who did it and ran." --Joan.



Oy...Debra What-A-Mess. Awful.

This s/b 3 different dresses, and they should all be in the trash. --Joan.



Awwww...Kirsten from The OC. This is what I mean by a rich, deep color on a light colored person. How gorgeous is this contrast? Beautiful simple dress. Great hair.



And now for my favorite dress of the night...Felicity Huffman. I love the color and the lines of this dress. The shoulders are great and the simplicity is just gorgeous.

My pick for best dressed, too! GORGEOUS! Everything here is perfect. --Joan.

From the Red Carpet...

OK. Here's my problem with the E! award-show coverage: STAR JONES & KATHY GRIFFIN. Neither of them would know fashion if it was a giant brick hitting them in the face. I'm sick to death of Star Jones's personal anecdotes -- like anyone watching gives two shits about her gay husband (Hey Star, if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck -- it’s a fucking duck). How she got this gig will forever mystify me. Plus, the velvet purple number she's sporting makes her look like a train wreck. If she's so proud of the fact that she lost weight, why on earth would she wear something that accentuates every flaw on her body. She looks like a cross between Morticia Adams and Grimace.

Kathy Griffin: between the grating voice and the excuse to riff using unfunny material, I've about had it. At least she cleans up better than Jones.

One good thing, they got rid of that sham of a fashion expert, whose name escapes me, in favor of Carson of Queer Eye fame. Finally, senior management at E! makes a good decision. Let’s hope he doesn’t disappoint.

But I digress...
On to my fashion report:

Eva Longoria and Felicity Huffman: oh-oh...caught at the same show in the same color? Girls, don't you know to call each other before picking out your dresses? Can you say faux pas? But Felicity gets my pick for better dressed...

Marcia Cross: She may be an insufferable bitch, but hunter green on a redhead...always a good pick. She looks fab.

Lauren Graham: Nice dress, but shut the f up. Even a train comes to a stop.

Jennifer Love Hewitt (or did she drop the Hewitt?): Instead of altering her surname, she should drop the homage to Audrey Hepburn. It ain’t working. BTW: what’s she doing there anyway? Party of Five was ovah a looooong time ago. Get over it.

Portia de Rossi: Pulling off the Grecian goddess thing well, but the color’s a little too bright. Coral can be tricky. But it should compliment her gal pal’s quasi-femme tux well enough.

Eric MacCormack: Could he be any cuter? But his wife… and I’m quoting my mother here: ‘She looks like one of the stepsisters.’ [My mom is also very good at pointing out the women who have brought their new “friends” with them. “Friends = Recently augmented breasts.]

Jennifer Garner: Looks like a sausage in the black satin sheath. When pregnant, always opt for the empire waist…not only is it more comfortable, but it’s flattering, too. She came Benless. Hmm. Trouble in paradise? And that bun in the oven must be a girl, cause it’s robbing her of her “beauty”: she looks like who did it an ran…

Well, it’s almost showtime, folks. I better run to make sure no D-list actor steals my seat. Ciao!

--Joan

Joan said it...

Well, it looks like after 4 measly months, the union of ZellwegerChesney is ova. The awesome thing is the fact that Joan rightfully predicted 4 months when her and I first wrote about this atrocity on Joan & Melissa: see HERE.

From Yahoo:

Wednesday in Los Angeles, Zellweger checked the paperwork box marked "fraud," and filed for an annulment from her country star husband of four months. "The reports are true," Zellweger rep Nanci Ryder confirmed. "There are no further details."

Zellweger, 36, and Chesney, 37, wed May 9 on a beach in the Virgin Islands. The bride wore a strapless Carolina Herrera; the groom, a black Stetson.

The ceremony, held in front of friends and family, came about 5 months after the couple met at a tsunami relief benefit in January.

"I am incredibly happy," Chesney said at the time. "I may well be the luckiest man alive. To be so in love with someone who is so perfect for me. It's just hard to imagine that I'm not going to wake up." Three days later, Chesney resumed his Somewhere in the Sun tour.

By late July, E! Online columnist Ted Casablanca was reporting on buzz that had the newlyweds splitting up. At the time, Ryder told Casablanca, "I just saw her [Zellweger], and I'm sure it's not true."

Last week, Britain's Daily Mail estimated that Zellweger and Chesney had spent 15 days together since their wedding. Caught by the newspaper on the red carpet for the London premiere of Cinderella Man, Zellweger, who attended the event solo, batted away rumors of a marriage in swift decline.

"I'm happily married," Zellweger said, per the paper, "but I don't talk about it because I want to keep my precious things precious."

Word of their pending annulment was first reported Thursday afternoon by People magazine. Later, Los Angeles' City News Service dug up the filing, and the "fraud" declaration.

In the pantheon of short-lived Hollywood marriages, Zellweger and Chesney's four-month-long union lasted an eternity compared to those of Zsa Zsa Gabor (one day, in 1982) and Britney Spears (55 hours, in 2004).

Tori, San Diego, CA, Wednesday, September 14, 2005 at Bayside at Embarcadero Marina Park South

For all the fairy shit she spews, there's no doubt this woman has found a fountain of youth that she frolics around with otherworldly creatures......cause there is nothing more unbelievable than watching Tori conjuring and creating what has to be some of the most beautiful sights and sounds you will ever hear.



The setlist
Original Sinsuality
Amber Waves
China
Goodbye Pisces
Spark
Way Down
Virginia
Rattlesnakes

Tori's Piano Bar
People Are Strange (The Doors cover)
We Belong (Pat Benatar cover)

Sweet Dreams
Doughnut Song
Black-Dove (January)
God/Running Up That Hill
The Beekeeper

1st Encore
Here. In My Head
Sweet The Sting

2nd Encore
1000 Oceans
Putting The Damage On

Although she didn't talk much and share her vivid stories and wacky antidotes, Tori did show off her knowledge of the current events of San Diego. She made a few references to the scandal involving the deputy mayor accepting a bribe (the bribe had something to do with revoking a "no touching" rule that was in place for San Diego strip clubs) and eventually having to resign. She professed her support of the strippers and in her witty way said that she knows what the strippers are going through because she has to deal with the record labels. Continuing her running joke, during Sweet Dreams she said, "No touchy." in between one of the verses. She also called SD "the dark horse." She said, "LA has nothing on you guys. They come down here, steal your storylines and go back up and make movies out of them."

She never ages, her hair is a perpetual radiant red, her shoes are divine, and her dresses evoke bellowing weightless curtains that move like waves when the wind blows. The Embaradaro is an awesome place to see a show like Tori's: intimate, quiet, beautiful, and outdoors by the water. The stage, located only a hundred or so feet from the edge of the harbor's water, the gentle breeze coming over the stage would set the smoke from the smoke machines in swirls, enveloping Tori, decked out in her black and royal blue wispy dress. The breeze kept a constantly dynamic movement of Tori's dress and her wavy Botticelli-esque red hair. Quite a sight to behold.

Finally!

"Sheryl Crow and cycling legend Lance Armstrong are engaged. The couple made the announcement...following Armstrong's proposal during a visit to Sun Valley, Idaho, last week. No date has been set for the wedding, but a spokesperson for the seven-time Tour De France champion hinted the happy couple are considering exchanging vows next spring. Armstrong and Crow met in 2003 - Armstrong has three children from his first marriage but it will be Crow's first time down the aisle." [IMDB]

...and Xenu, do you take Katie to be your lawfully wedded Level 6 Operative Thetan?

Just when you thought TomKat were laying low...

"Katie Holmes is planning to do what neither of Tom Cruise's past two wives did when she weds the movie star - take his name. The tradition-loving actress plans to deviate from Nicole Kidman and Mimi Rogers' example and go by the name of Kate Cruise, both personally and professionally, when she exchanges vows with her fiance, according to American magazine In Touch. A source tells the publication, "Tom calls her Kate, so he suggested she start going by that professionally." The surname change is something old-fashioned Holmes has always been keen on. [IMDB]

How friggin' obnoxious-sounding is the name: KATIE CRUISE. Yick. --Joan

A Sucker's Born Every Minute

Pah-lease... A picture's worth a thousand words... --Joan

"...socialite Paris Hilton insists she has a low sex drive and frequently snubs steamy sessions at home...she is adamant her titillating image is a product of her sexy sense of style, and in reality her boyfriends have commented on her less than rampant libido. She says, "I'm sexual in pictures and the way I dress and my whole image. But at home I'm really not like that. All of my ex-boyfriends - not Paris, of course - would be like, 'What's the matter with you? You're so not sexual.'" [IMDB]

Mama must be so proud.

The world welcomes Baby White Trash Jr.

And the world shudders in terror... --J

My Brush with Fame, Part Deus

9.6.05. Coldplay. Madison Square Garden.

Joan: When we sat down, we noticed a blonde woman carrying a blonde child about Apple’s age. But it wasn’t Gwenyth, since this woman was heavier. The blonde child began playing in the gated section on the floor, just in front of the sound-mixing equipment. Not long after, Gwyenth showed up (we now figured the other woman to be her nanny). A little while after, we noticed Blythe Danner was sitted next to Gwyneth. They stayed the entire time, and left during the 2nd to last song, or thereabouts. I didn’t see Apple again, I think the Nanny took her her backstage some time during the show... It had to be very weird for them, sitting in the middle of it all... Surrounded by people pointing and waving. She didn’t seem to even take notice. She seemed very comfortable, like it was just another day at the office. And her mom was really getting into the show. It was nice to see.
The show was good, although I think I preferred the Jones Beach show (Rush of Blood Tour)... Just after the 2nd cd came out. But there were some really neat things about this show... Namely the “Take a Picture” segment and the Yellow Sparkle Balls during “Yellow”. “Clocks” was amazing... In any case, it was a good show... And out seats weren’t as bad as we thought.

Melissa: That is freakin’ awesome. That’s like an A+ list sighting. So how did Gwennie look in person? And Apple??? Did she have those cool ear muffs things on?
Good to hear that your seats were good! That’s always a pleasant surprise. They also did the “Take a Picture” thing and the yellow balloons during “Yellow” here (San Diego) as well. Martin kept saying that he’s waiting for all the balloons to pop. There was one left toward the end of the show and he had thought they all popped until someone yelled out and directed his attention to the one that was left. He said he thought they had all popped and to hide it from him. So the crowd just hid it below the level of heads. His stories are pretty funny, he spoke a good amount at the SD show, which I love!

Joan: Apple didn’t have on the ear muffs, I think because the show hadn’t started yet. She was really having fun though w/the little boy she was playing with. I wasn’t surprised to see Gwennie and mom, since NY is their hometown. It was nice to see her mom getting in on the vibe though. Being supportive. But Gwennie is really striking in person. Much prettier than in photos.

I'm soooooo jealous! --Melissa

Have a yummy 3-day weekend!