Justice and injustice for all...

On last night's American Idol, there were good things that happened and bad things that happened. I'll start with the good. The two most deserved girls got the boot: Amanda Avila, the god-awful singer who somehow won Miss Las Vegas at some point in this here dimension we all live in. My conclusion to that is that the judges must have been blind. I mean, she's not that bad looking but she is irritating as hell, that makes her bad looking, but no pageant-winning material by any means. And she might not have been irritating at all if she wasn't on a singing competition where she beat out millions of other people based on her supposedly vocal talents. Or lack thereof, I think. She's terrible, shrieked out the high parts of "River Deep, Mountain High" on Tuesday night and was barely audible in the softer parts. The other well-booted girl was Janay, the Lil' Kim-clone. With her deer-in-headlights look and petrified glory, she sang herself to the lowest number of votes performing the Selena song "Dreaming of You." The eliminations were down to the last three girls, Janay, Amanda, and Mikalah, whom I happen to really enjoy. At this point, anything can happen as was seen last year when the three divas were the three lowest vote-getters in one of the elimination episodes. So I was nervous that Mickalah would be one of the two getting booted. Fortunately, the masses voted right and Janey and Amanda were sent packing. I expected Janay to give a wise-ass, bratty, "oh, no, you di-in't" response but she was decent and just took the news. Amanda, on the other hand, cried a little. Oh well, that's the way the cookie crumbles, doll.

The bad was the boy who got booted and the one who should have instead. Now, I have this thing for Constantine, no, not like a oh-he's-so-hot thing, but a he-freakin'-annoys-me-beyond-belief thing. He's cocky and smug and thinks he's a rock star cause he's the lead singer of a NYC band called Pray for the Soul of Betty. Whatevs. He's got really bad singing faces when he performs and does this really annoying jerking motion with his shoulder where he flips one side of his jacket open and closed and off his shoulder sometimes. If you watch, you'll know what I'm talking about. If not, then whatevs again. Ryan called both him and Bo down from the benches to the center of the stage and I swear, Constantine totally snickered and had a smirk on his face, like "oh dude, I do not want to get up." I think he may have even rolled his eyes! The nerve...and you wonder why I hate him. Anyhoo, both him (BOO!) and Bo (YAY!) were safe. ARGH! Then the last three boys that were dicked around were Scott, Nikko, and Travis. Travis stunk it up the night before by singing and horribly beatboxing Bobby Brown's "Every Little Step" which really should never be performed or played ever again. Nikko did Ray Charles' "Georgia on My Mind" surprisingly well and Scott did "I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch)." I like Scott, he's good, and Nikko is good too. But with Constantine already freakin' safe, it was going to have to be Travis and either Scott or Nikko. In a world obsessed with looks and body types, Scott awesomely makes it through and Travis and Nikko are out. Scott thanks God again, and again, and again...looking up to the ceiling and sending air kisses to the Almighty above. Travis and Nikko take the bad news well and there are no signs of brooding. Like Scott, thank God.

Back to you, Joan.

Well, Melissa... I have to agree to disagree...on some counts. American Idol voters did make the right choices for the girls. Those two had to go...before I lost my friggin' mind. Why Janay wasn't sent packin' sooner is something I will ponder for the next few minutes...at the very least. But I digress... Amanda -- Miss Las Vegas 2002: Thank God she's gone. That candy-ass, sweet-tooth, no-talent hooch had it coming. Harsh, yes. But she needs to go back to Vegas and don the pasties she was born to wear. Bye, sweetie...don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. Now, regarding Mickalah (or however the hell she spells her annoying name)... My main problem with her is that she's entirely too affected. She thinks she's channeling Babes...and I'm really glad someone (Paula) finally said it. The thing is, when you're a fledgling singer, the last thing you want to do is imitate someone as identifiable as Barbara Streisand. It's reasonable to be influenced by her, sure. She's one of the best singers in the world. But, to imitate is just tack-y. Take that crap to the cabare, sweetie...or leave it to the drag queens... cause no one's buying your impression. I will give her this... she's interesting. I'm always curious to see what she's gonna do. So, if she starts developing her own style and stops copy-cattin' around...she might make it to the top 3...emphasis on might.

The boys...the saving grace of this season. I'm disappointed that Nikko was cut. I thought he showed some class and maturity. Travis...well...that was a no-brainer. Any dope stupid enough to sing a Bobby Brown song in a competition is asking for it. Was he on heavy meds when he made that decision??? (shaking head). So, who should have gone in Nikko's place...one answer: Constantine. That lanky, giant needs to go back to his hurtin' band and make some suck-as music, that will most likely get air-play on k-rock. Go figure. (Pray for the Soul of Betty...yeah, that'll look good on a t-shirt.) There's no accounting for taste these days. There's nothing wrong w/rockers. Nay, on the contrary. But let's face it...they don't belong on American Idol. So...bye bye Bo. Bye Bye Constantine. If you make it through the first 3 weeks... I'll be surprised. I am looking forward to the stupid outfits and silly videos they put you in.

Until Next Time, Melissa...
Joanie--OUT!