Overall: Snooze-fest

Joan: Well, Melissa... The first showing of the top 12 performers was last night...and my ears are still hurting. For the most part, it was very hard to watch. Thoughts?

Melissa: Hmmm...Overall, it was very mediocre, considering that now these kids have to step it up. Nadia is great, she blows it outta the house everytime. Flawless song selection. The big boobed girl ain't bad. Even though everyone loves Carrie, I'm ready for her to leave. Snoooooze... Mickalah I thought wasn't bad until the judges started bashing her! She was a little too confident and what was up with the hair, makeup, and outfit? She looked like a hooker. Constantine, for once, didn't annoy me. I still luuuuuuuuurve Bo Bice! Anwar is great, very gentle and controlled. Scott is really good too. What did you think, Joan?

Joan: Melissa, I am so over Bo. He doesn't belong in this competition. Nor does Constantine, who, ironically, I thought offered a better performance. He picked the right song, unlike Bo. The best, by far, were Nadia and Nouvell (sp?). Both picked the right songs. Let me say this: it's all about the song... Regardless of what those dopey judges say. When will these people understand, in a vocal competition, you have to pick a vocal song? I don't care if you sing the shit out of "Knock on Wood." It's a shitty song and it always will be. I also am sick of hearing: Well... these kids didn't grow up in the 60s, so it's hard. F that. This is their craft. Learn something about the genre. There are so many great songs from the 60s – and you'd never know it judging by last night.

Don’t even get me started on Mickalah. Except to say: NEVER SHOW THAT BELLY AGAIN!

Melissa: Yes, I'm totally on board with the movement to prohibit Mickalah from ever showing that belly again. She looked really bad last night. Like to a total hooker. I think she's so much better with no makeup, or very natural looking makeup. Anyhoo, do you mean Vonzell? She was wearing the long peach dress? She was really good, I thought too. She was able to hit those high notes and really was able to switch up her voice to hit the wide range of notes that the song dictated. I know you couldn't give a rat's ass about Bo, but I just love that husky, raspy rock thing he's got going. Constantine, on the other hand, has such a high voice that it hurts my ears. But true, his song selection worked for him last night. And I'm sick of the judges dilly-dallying back and forth over what they say. One day, they pimp the concept of picking the right song (which I also happen to think can make or break the performer) and then they will say just pick a song and sing it the best of your ability.

BTW, I’m sooooooooo over Anthony Federov and Lindsey Cardinale. Snoooooze... NEXT!

Joan: Ugh. Lindsey. She stopped being good right after her audition. Why does she always look like she's taking a dump when she sings? She needs to stop with the squatting. Enough. Anthony... I think he's got some life in him yet… But bad song choice. Somewhere in the valley, Neil Sedaka was saying: You are ear delicious...

Melissa: "Somewhere in the valley, Neil Sedaka was saying: You are ear delicious..." Thanks Joan, it was bad enough seeing Neil get all warm and tingly inside while he watched Clay sing his song last year, you didn't need to conjure up that horrid image of Neil getting off on Anthony singing one as well. Ugh!

Anyway, it's totally true that Lindsey looks like she's trying to squeeze out a few bricks while she's singing. I really don't get what's so good about her. Yeah, she can sing, but so can a million other people. She's so blah and boring and there is absolutely nothing interesting about her. What Simon said was right, people did tune out or mute their TVs when she came on, cause I know I did. Couldn't give a rat's ass about her. Anthony, to me, is just so boy-band and contrived looking. I personally don't think he's all that great vocally. Like Lindsey, he's so blah.

Joan: Anthony can sing... but he needs to pick the right songs... otherwise he's boring. Sometimes he blows me away. I think he's incredibly corny. But I did think that about Clay, too...and people liked him – hell – he's doing better than the winner, Ruben. Should be interesting to see who gets cut tonight. I'm sure voters will make a mistake...just like they always do. But I have to say...I care less about this season than all the rest.

Melissa: My guess for elimination tonight is Lindsey. How 'bout you, Joan?
Melissa, OUT!

Joan: If not Lindsey...then maybe Mickalah. Either way... I’m a happy viewer. ;)
Joan, OUT!