Mohawks and an electrocuted country girl

Joan: Well, Melissa. It's a good thing they re-ran the show...as I missed it. Although I would have gladly missed the following performances: Nadia, "Time After Time" – WTF? Nice hair. Biggggg Mistake. She could end up in the bottom three tonight. Constantine, "I Think I Love You" – terrible. Somewhere in Vegas, David Cassidy is cringing – and that's saying something. Anthony, "I Knew You Were Waiting" – he has officially screwed himself. I'm beginning to think he's incapable of picking a song worth listening to. That song wasn't even listenable when it was on the charts. Nice job. See you in the bottom three. ...and last, and very least, Mickalah, "Love Will Bring You Back" – STOP SINGING THROUGH YOUR NOSE, YOU ANNOYING BITCH! And leave the Streisand impression to the drag queens, OK? She is possibly, THE most annoying person on the planet. She thinks her t-shirt: IT'S MY JOB TO ANNOY YOU was tongue-in-cheek, eh? Well... it may be the only job she's qualified for. Melissa?

Melissa: Ok, Joan, you're gonna hate me even more than you probably do for this, but I find Mickalah charming! I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me??!?!!? I mean, you know me pretty darn well and wouldn't you think Mickalah is the type of person I'd slap upside the head given the chance??? I hated the T-shirt, really tacky, and kinda doing it in for herself cause now the people who find her annoying are going to be annoyed even more and bring the hate big time. I think she's so pretty though. If she didn't talk and just stood there, she's quite a sight. Anyhoo, I'll move on before you somehow deck me from across the country! Nadia, at first, I thought the hair was a nice touch but after watching it again last night, dang, she looked like a freakin' cockatoo. Bo kicked ass, as usual. He so dreamy... Ugh, I'm sooo sick of Anthony. His time has come. He looks so boy-bandish and contrived and cheesy, I can't stand looking at him even before I judge his vocal talent, which is as cheesy as they come. Constantine, oh Constantine, the king of annoying. You're just not that good. You can rock it onstage but only if I have my TV on mute. NEXT! Jessica Big Boobs is good, she's actually got vocal talent, although she looks weird, I can't get past the fact that she's barely got a neck. Oh well. Nikko, count your lucky stars that Mario dropped out and you came back, cause you suck. And who does he think he is: a film noir pimp??? Scott, he's good, but very under the radar, nothing spectacular.

Joan: Well...it's too bad my arm isn't long enough to slap you silly from NY. I really thought, by now, Mickalah would have worked her way under your skin like a terrible, stinging itch by now. How is it possible? Have you seen a doctor about this condition... since it's worsening? She gotta go. But I digress. I don't see your fascination w/Bo either...and this is really freaking me out – since we're disagreeing so much. Odd. I find him very boring. And very wrong for the competition. I would like to see both rockers gone from the show. Jessica Big Boobs and Kerri Underwood were very good... but too made up. Tone it down a little. It's not La Cage a Folles. Sheesh.

Melissa: Yeah, I don't know what's going on with me, either, Joan. I think I'm beginning to freak myself out. Mickalah is so someone I would love to slap normally, but I'm really digging her. And Bo, I think it's the rock thing that I had such a thing for back in high school and early college. I loved 'em rocker boys. But beyond that, I think he's really talented and a seasoned performer since he does it in his regular life. But yes, he isn't typical American Idol material and may not be mainstream enough for the competition and masses. We'll see how it turns out for him. Carrie looked like she stuck her pretty little fingers in an electrical socket. That hair was huge and she looked a little petrified. She's good vocally, but as you know, I'm not a fan of country-ish music so her appeal goes down for me a bit. What did you think of Vonzell and Anwar?

Joan: LOL. Well... I would be concerned if I were you. I don't think there's a person on the planet who hasn't developed a nervous twitch from her annoying banter. You know, I was a hair band addict too… so, I'm not sure why Bo doesn't do it for me. Oh, that's right – cause I liked crap music…like Poison and Slaughter... you liked the good stuff. So, when I look back on my teens I shudder...you can look back and think – hey, I was cool. Not I. Hair was verrrry big. Kept Final-Net in business single-handedly. I thought Vonzell was good – a little pitchy. Great song pick. Anwar – was a miss for me… He should have chosen a different song. Randy was right about Chaka being the only thing you can think of when it comes to that song choice. So... My picks for the bottom three tonight: Anthony, Mickalah, and Nadia. I think Mickalah will be axed. If not her, then Anthony. Melissa, how about you?

Melissa: Bo just takes me back to the chill days of high school when someone always had a guitar onhand and we owned a chunk of our high school lawn under the tree. And considering we were high school kids, whoever had the guitar knew how to strum classical rock songs like The Doors and Pink Floyd and we knew the words. Good times, good times. And Bo's got that stripped down, natural, raw rock thing going. Nothing made-up and contrived like music nowadays, like Anthony's image, and every boy-band and pop diva on the planet. Vonzell was good, the thing about her is that she's just kinda there, I'm pretty neutral to her. I wouldn't care if she gets booted. Anwar is iffy with me, some weeks I love him and others, I couldn't care less. Last night was crap. Way too high, his register hurts my ears sometimes. He's obviously talented but I just don't get his appeal sometimes. I don't know, can't really explain it. But as far as my picks for bottom three for this week go, they are: Mickalah for sure, and two out of the following three: Anthony, Nikko, or Scott. Nikko is so blah that I can't see him having that huge of a fanbase. Anthony gets by just based on the fact that all the 13-year-olds are voting for his boy-band ass. Scott is talented but again, someone who kinda blends in with the background and he's boring. Although Nadia didn't do very well, she's a strong and interesting, dynamic character with a definite and huge following. They will keep her in. I guess we shall wait and see tonight.