ARGH, the flannel shirt is back

Just when we got used to seeing Johnny Depp without the 90s flannel shirt tied around his waist and without his zillion accessories and gold teef, the flannel shirt RETURNS!

The Truth is...in his pants.

OK. Laugh all you want. Laugh it up. Yes, yes... you know about my lust for the Duchovny... which is why when Miss Jen and Melissa clued me in about this breaking story... I had to rise from my slumber to blog it out. Ladies and gentlemen... Without further ado... David Duchovny is a sex addict.

David Duchovny has entered a rehabilitation center for sex addiction, his lawyer, Stanton "Larry" Stein, tells PEOPLE exclusively. "I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction," the actor says in an exclusive statement. "I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family." [people]

Now, just exactly what IS a sex addict? What is the criteria for being labeled a sex addict? Well, here goes:

...there are ten specific criteria of addiction:

1. Recurrent failure (pattern) to resist impulses to engage in extreme acts of lewd sex.
2. Frequent engaging in those behaviors to a greater extent or over a longer period of time than intended.
3. Persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to stop, reduce, or control those behaviors.
4. Inordinate amount of time spent in obtaining sex, being sexual, or recovering from sexual experience.
5. Preoccupation with the behavior or preparatory activities.
6. Frequent engaging in violent sexual behavior when expected to fulfill occupational, academic, domestic, or social obligations.
7. Continuation of the behavior despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent social, financial, psychological, or physical problem that is caused or exacerbated by the behavior.
8. Need to increase the intensity, frequency, number, or risk of behaviors to achieve the desired effect, or diminished effect with continued behaviors at the same level of intensity, frequency, number, or risk.
9. Giving up or limiting social, occupational, or recreational activities because of the behavior.
10. Distress, anxiety, restlessness, or violence if unable to engage in the behavior. [wiki]

I dunno, seems like an awful lotta work to me. Just rent some porn and have at it. Sheesh. And yes, Miss Jen... you cannot write this shit.

It's the pits for J.Lo

Someone is going to be in big shit for letting J.Lo out in public with sweat pits. The wrath of Skeletor alone is scary enough.

50 lbs at 50 years old?

MJ has resurfaced, looking ever more like the scary clown puppet from the Saw movies. He's gonna be 50. Above is what he looks like now, below is what he could have looked like if he left it all alone.

This is gonna be a good season...

Makes up for last season's Dancing with the Stars, which was a yawnfest. Here's the new cast, lined up for the Sept. 22nd premiere...

(and SYTYCD fans, look for Lacey to appear as one of the professional dancers... Fab!)

• - Kim Kardashian how are they gonna get her ass into those costumes?
• - Lance Bass please... no N'sync tributes... please...
• - Cloris Leachman hey, frau brucher's got pep
• - Ted McGinley well, he's been on everything else, he might as well show up here.
• - Brooke Burke she's probably gonna pop out another kid while doing the passo doble.
• - Toni Braxton my early bet for winner!
  
• - Misty May-Treanor who da what what?
• - Maurice Green who da who who?
• - Jeffrey Ross mark my words, this will be a train wreck.
• - Rocco DiSpirito i do enjoy a little rocco. but watching him dance will most likely give me douche chills.
• - Warren Sapp football players do incredibly well on this show... my bet -- he makes it into the top 3.
  
• - Cody Linley who who what?
• - Susan Lucci careful erica kane, don't break a hip.

Idol adds a 4th Judge...

Clearly, they're edging Paula out. Well, can you blame them? I mean, ya never know what's gonna come out of her mouth. Then again, that is half the fun of watching...

Paula Abdul has mixed feelings about Grammy-nominated songwriter Kara DioGuardi being added as a fourth judge on Fox's American Idol. On Phoenix's 104.7 KISS FM Johnjay & Rich radio show Monday, she said she was excited but added, "I am concerned about the audience and acceptance. Time will tell. We'll see."She said producers hired DioGuardi because they "wanted to try a change. "They always tried for a fourth judge because it followed the format of the original show, Pop Idol," Abdul said. "We haven't had much luck with that working, but we're gonna give it another try." Asked if she, Randy Jackson and Simon Cowell have sat down with DioGuardi to test their chemistry, Abdul replied, "Nope," and laughed. [us weekly]

Hollywood's new crop of well-adjusted kids...

Some new birth announcements coming off the wire... Start saving for therapy now.

Charlie Sheen and his wife, real estate investor Brooke Mueller, are expecting their first child together. “Brooke and I are thrilled! She’s the best stepmom Sam, Lola and Cassandra could ever hope for," Sheen, 42, tells Usmagazine.com, referring to his daughters Sam, 4, and Lola, 2 (with ex-wife Denise Richards), and Cassandra, 23 (with ex-girlfriend Paula Profitt). [us weekly]

Adult film star Jenna Jameson is going to be a mommy. “Yes, I can confirm I’m pregnant. It’s still early, so I’m being cautious. I’m resting as much as possible," she tells Usmagazine.com exclusively. "I'm so happy!" [us weekly]

Some things are better kept family secrets...

Apparently, mom McConoheyhey is just as loose-lipped as her son. Seems she's willing to kiss and tell:

If you think Matthew McConaughey is a character, wait until you meet his mom. In her new book, I Amaze Myself! (iamazemyself.com), Kay McConaughey dishes on everything from her son Matthew’s conception to how her husband died in a compromising position with her! “On Monday mornings, he and I often said goodbye by making love,” Kay, 77, says exclusively in the latest issue of Us Weekly. “But one day, all of a sudden, it just happened. "I knew that something was wrong, because I didn’t hear anything from him. Just nothing," she says. "But it was just the best way to go!” And when her man couldn’t be revived, she made sure he was taken from the house in the buff. “I was just so proud to show off my big old Jim McConaughey — and his gift,” she says. [us weekly]

um, clearly the grief-stricken widow. ooof, what a piece of work. well, alright alright.

You don't say...

Is anyone really shocked? I mean, they've been there and done that already. I'd have been more shocked if they actually made it to the altar. Pah-lease:

Nicollette Sheridan and Michael Bolton are again going their separate ways, a rep for the actress tells PEOPLE exclusively. "Nicollette Sheridan and Michael Bolton have amicably ended their engagement," said Nicole Perna. "They appreciate your respect for their privacy in this matter." The couple's relationship originally started in 1992, and lasted for five years. [people]

Not "making it work"

According to Tim Gunn, Katie Holmes is a hot mess. And not the good kind. Her recent choice of denim-only wardrobe choices has set the fashion world into a tizzy. Where's the glam Katie everyone was just getting accustomed to? She moves to NYC and goes all Levi's on us...

Tim Gunn is never shy about his opinions on Project Runway ... he expressed his disapproval of Katie Holmes’s recent penchant for fall’s new baggy jeans. “I have to say, Katie Holmes has become so much more sophisticated in so many ways, but I think she’s in a dip right now. I can’t explain it.” Gunn actually sees the adaptation of the new look as a move back towards her younger look, saying “She ascended from this tomboyish waif look to an incredible sexy sophisticate. We realize how much style she’s capable of. I don’t get it.” [people]

Ciao...

Brad and George at the Venice Film Festival... George looking more and more suave as the years pass. Always fine in a tux.

Ellen and Portia's Wedding Album

Really lovely pics from Ellen and Portia's wedding day...
exclusive shots from People mag

It started with the hair

Now they wear the same exact jeans.

Something to ponder

I wonder if Seal and Heidi Klum think to themselves: "WE R FUCKIN' SEAL & HEIDI KLUM!" as they turn their camera onto themselves in a recent trip to Paree?

Apparently Katie needs help walking again

TC and Katie were out and about and TC has taken it upon himself to lead Katie around by the arm--again. And their haircuts have never looked the same. It's like they are twins. Are they even dressing the same??? How does Suri tell them apart? May Xenu grant Suri the serenity she needs to make it through these childhood years.

The King of Queens' wife is hot

I knew Kevin James' wife was a model but I never really got a good look at her. Well, here is she and she's gorgeous. Good job, Kev. Women do love funny men.

Good lord, put it away

I don't know how many times I need to quietly pray that Madge puts it away. The geriatric performer kicked off her "Sticky & Sweet" tour yesterday. "Sticky & Sweet"? Do the gods want me to vomit? Shouldn't she have named it "The Only Thing Standing Me & You Is This Mesh Leotard" Tour? Check out these pics of Madge workin' hard fo' her money. She might want to bring it down a notch--she might break a hip, or her pelvic bone.

I loves me a good ass piece of gossip...

...so when Melissa sent me this delicious morsel, I ate it up and didn't care one little bit about the saturated fat!

Project Runway judge Nina Garcia has been the center of drama as the show gets ready to move to Lifetime; she was fired from Elle, but then stayed on as editor-at-large just so Elle could have a presence on the fifth season. She’ll stay with the show for its sixth season, but is now with Marie Claire magazine.

The story of how Slowley [former co-worker at Elle], Garcia, and others got to this point is told in New York Magazine, and it’s fascinating, if extremely dense and insidery. Nina was apparently loathed at Elle, especially as she got more famous; one former staff member said, “They all hate her. And no one really knows why. They just call her, like, ‘the evil one’ or ‘the monster.’”... Nina told the magazine, “The difference between me and Anne Slowey, is that I never wanted to be famous.” [reality blurred]

Send in Columbo

...we've got a mystery brewing in Hwood.

Makeup artist to the stars Paul Starr was found dead in his Los Angeles home on Tuesday. He was thought to be 48. Starr's death is a bit of a mystery at this point. A friend of his said he hadn’t been seen or heard from in several days. After knocking repeatedly on the door of his apartment, the door was broken down and his body was discovered. The cause of death is unknown. [ok]

Here's some of his work...

OK. Let's talk about it...

Generally, we prefer to avoid BritBrit like the plague. And, we've been able to do so of late. (Clearly the 'house arrest' is working. Kudos Papa Spears.) But have you seen these pics of supposed blissful and well-adjusted family life? I mean, did everyone forget that while under her supervision these kids lived on cheetos and soda (which is apparently still happening, see below), were barely strapped into their car seats, and were allowed to play with BIC lighters? Well, we don't.

Really? Seriously?

I'm not sure what they're trying to say here?
But, I ain't gonna be buyin' this beer.

Living la Vida Dos Babies...

It's twins for singer Ricky Martin. But read on, the story gets interesting:

Ricky Martin is a father to twin boys born via a surrogate, his rep confirms to PEOPLE. "In recent weeks, Ricky Martin became a proud father by the birth of twin sons," his rep tells PEOPLE. "The children, delivered via gestational surrogacy, are healthy and already under Ricky's full-time care," the rep said in a statement. "Ricky is elated to begin this new chapter in his life as a parent and will be spending the remainder of the year out of the public spotlight in order to spend time with his children." The boys' names and the location of their birth have not been released. [people]

Hmm. You do the math.