Xenu! Yeah, I Said It! And I'll Say It Again!

Tom Cruise with David Miscavige, Chairman


Well, this thing with Tom Cruise just keeps getting weirder and weirder. While driving in to work this morning and listening to Stern, as I'm wont to do, a whole new world was opened to me: The World of Xenu.

What, pray tell, is Xenu? Well, I hope you're sitting down for this... According to the convo on Stern's show this morning (and backed up by the site: www.xenu.net, Operation Clambake)... Xenu is a Space Monkey. And, not your average run-of-the-mill Space Monkey either (That's him up in the right-hand corner of the above picture). See, the story goes like this:

75 million years ago, Xenu came to Earth to deal with the over-population problem. He placed Earth's population near all of the volcanoes and set off H-Bombs simultaneously. But the thetans, or souls, remained. And... well... it's really quite convoluted. I suggest you go to xenu.net to read the rest...

What does this all have to do with Tom Cruise? Well, this is the core belief of Scientology. And, being a mid-level Scientologist, Tom is able to "control energy and affect space and time." It's his mission, as for all Scientologists, to free the world from Xenu's control. I shit you not. From xenu.net's FAQ on Celebrities and Scientology, a court testimony/statement states the following:

127.  The purpose of auditing at the OT III level, such as Tom

Cruise has received, is to contact and audit the bts and clusters so

that the bts and clusters leave the body of the auditor.  The purpose of

this is to free the person from the determinism of the bts and clusters.

However, the bts and clusters that are released by the solo auditor are

now back at the beginning of their implant which they received 75

million years ago.  Survival then retriggers the basic implant which

then picks up a body, or attaches to one that is already occupied, and

re begins the whole cycle.

 128.  The ultimate goal of auditing is the return of self

determinism and abilities of the person being audited.  In other words,

to return the person to the state they were in 75 million years ago

before Xenu handled the over-population problem.

Go here to read the rest of this testimony: http://home.snafu.de/tilman/faq-you/celeb.txt

Now, as for Katie. Well, she is being chaperoned at her publicity events by a woman who is on the same level in the church as Tom Cruise. They are "grooming" her as she accepts Scientology into her life. (As heard on Stern this morning.)

--Joan