No, not Sabrina too!!!

Sabrina the Teenage Witch is all grown up and knocked up with her second kid and unfortunately following in the footsteps of other preggo moms like Demi, Xtina, and BritBrit. Avert your eyes.

Katie's Spread

Katie, ahem Kate, Holmes-Cruise is on the cover of the latest issue of InStyle magazine. She's looks pretty fabulous. Gotta say. But the quotes inside are vomit-inducing. Have a bucket handy:

"I still get like that, 'Whew.' When you fall in love, it's as though time stops. It's all-encompassing. I try every day to let him know how much I love him. It gets better and better. It has made my life."

"Tom likes me in a suit and a mini every now and then. I like it when he likes it. It makes me blush. He'll say, 'You look good. I hope security's going with you.' Now that gives me attitude."

"He knows what he's doing. When he decides to do something, he does it. It's great. It's hot."

"[Tom] by my side the whole time. I couldn't have asked for a more supportive human being. He had the room ready, candles everywhere, pictures in frames. It was very homey and beautiful." [on the birth of Suri]

"I'd love to have more children. But I'm in no particular rush. We're enjoying our time right now."

Upcoming Globes May Be Affected by Writers' Strike

It's a shame, but striking writers and those who support their agenda may not be attending the upcoming Golden Globes (if the strike is still in effect). Even though the Globes are celebrating the achievements of the entertainment industry pre-strike, attendance is still technically considered crossing the picket line. They gotta do what they gotta do, yo. But I'm sure gonna miss the red carpet. :(

Rumor has it that the strike may last well into the spring. Shows like 24 have decided to suspend filming/airing until they can air an entire season uninterrupted. (Which is great for Keifer Sutherland since he's in the clink.) Some Late Night talk shows have been paying their staffs out of their own pockets (namely Letterman, O'Brien and Leno).

You know, they don't want much -- and that's the irony of the whole thing. Yet these corporate leeches have no real desire to comply and end this thing swiftly. I guess they think they're gonna take it with them when the shuffle off this mortal coil. Bastards.

Here's a compiling of what some celebs have had to say:

"I'm not crossing the picket line, not unless I'm contractually obliged to do, which, for the Golden Globes, I'm not."--Katherine Heigl

“It would be very hard for me to cross a WGA picket line. Everybody will have the same problem. It’s very unfornuate and an issue that won’t go away."--David Cronenberg

“I would never cross a picket line.”--Glenn Close

"I don’t know about whether or not I'll be attending because to be honest with you, I don’t know a lot about the rules and limitations of what is happening. I need to look into it. Writers are kind of these unsung heroes. People don’t see how much these guys work and they're just trying to cover their bases for themselves and for the future. I hope they get what they deserve and I'll do anything I can to help that."--Jeremy Piven

Paula's Pee Pee Pilfered & Marilyn's Manhood Maintained

In truth-is-stranger-than-fiction news, today was a virtual goldmine of bizarre stories... Here's a couple to ponder on:

American Idol judge Paula Abdul once experienced theft at the hands of an obsessed fan, after a medical employee stole a sample of her urine. The 45-year-old was shocked when her doctor asked her to provide a second urine sample, because the specimen she had previously provided was taken by a member of hospital staff. She recalls, "Well, this is gross, but I was once at the gynecologist and my doctor said, 'We asked you to do a urine sample, so where is it?' "I told him that I'd left it out in reception, and when he came back he said, 'This is really embarrassing but a man who works here is your biggest fan and he stole it.' Needless to say he got fired. In hindsight it's a funny story." [newswatch 50, ny]

Not doin' it for ya? The pee pee stealing fan? No? How's this grab ya?

MARILYN MANSON is hoping to one day make a fortune from a childhood souvenir his foreskin. The shock rocker's mother, Barb Warner, has long been rumoured to have kept the foreskin from his circumcision in a small jar - and Manson admits it is all true, even joking about the potential value of such an item. He says, "It's in more of a contact lens case, kind of like a shriveled up Lifesaver.... If she ever came here, she would wave it around. We're hoping Sotheby's...one day." [pr inside]

My work here is done.

I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT

I always had this feeling that Tony Parker was nowhere near as into Eva Longoria as she was into him. He hardly ever showed up at her events. She hung on him like a rented tux. And she does all the damn talking -- he's just scenery.

Call me psychic. Check this shit out:

Cheating rumors are nothing new for San Antonio Spurs superstar guard Tony Parker and Desperate Housewives pint sized hottie Eva Longoria. This time they involve red hot model Alexandra Paressant...The 26-year old 5'10" French model claim to fame has so far been that she is soccer star Ronaldinho's girlfriend, though he wound up suing her for her claims that they were hot an heavy during the World Cupand it affected his play... Now Paressant tells the photo agency that the two carried on a secret relationship for about two months after tony and Eva's wedding. The website report: "According to Alex, she and Tony were introduced by superstar French soccer player Thierry Henry at the huge July 7 nuptials last summer. They exchanged phone calls for a couple months and then saw each other in Paris at the end of September (while Tony was in town to receive the Legion of Honor) and in San Antonio in October." Te online report claims that Alex has given X17online samples of what she says are text messages with Tony exchanged at the end of September, just after the two slept together. Wild claims from the model, expect denials from Tony soon. [nat'l ledger]

from us weekly:

"We had room service. He said that Eva, sexually speaking, does not want to do certain things," she said.

"She does not want to make love in front of a mirror, does not like [a] certain position and thinks that sperm gives acne."

She told x17 that Parker felt obligated to wed Longoria, 32, because "everybody has to get married at a point, but [for him] it is still time to enjoy life."

When asked if Longoria knew about the fling, Paressant said, "I don't think she knew about it. She seems quite jealous."

I'm so confused...

Peruse this picture like the back of Highlights magazine, if you will... Spot all the things that are wrong with it. Let's discuss:

• Is Pammy seriously giving Rick head in public?
• Or, is he just scratching his junk in public? (Also not acceptable)
  
• Is that their dog about to drop turd?
• Or is that someone else's dog snatching a glimpse at their antics and telling them just what he thinks of them?
• Who the fuck owns and wears a McDonald's t-shirt?
  

Ponderous. Fucking ponderous.

Dude, step off...

I cannot find a better source for this claim, other than Transworld and some other blogs. And it's totally counterpoint to what he said about their friendship on the Howard Stern show. So, take this with a grain of salt... but if it's true: FUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCK HIM.

David Arquette is reportedly fed up with his wife Courteney Cox and her pal Jennifer Aniston and has given Cox an ultimatum: “Me or Jennifer Aniston.”...Arquette allegedly feels as if he is “married to two women” and says he has to share his wife with Aniston. “Somewhat understandably, David’s now saying it’s him or Jennifer. He’s had enough and is drawing a line in the sand. He’s asking that Jennifer’s visits become less frequent and that there are no phone calls between midnight and 8 am,” a source says. “David is now telling friends that it feels like he is married to two women.” Since her divorce from Brad Pitt and break up with Vince Vaughn, Aniston has even reportedly been spending every holiday with Cox. “He likes Jennifer but, since she’s been single, she and Courteney spend so much time together that it’s not surprise he’s feeling left out,” the source adds. [transworld]

Oh, what a fuuuuuccccking baby. Courtney's being a good friend... your best friend in the world has the shittiest couple of years in her life and you're expected to abandon her because your husband's feeling a little left out? um, grow the f up, you big fat baby! She's your wife, of course -- but if you're so threatened by her loyalty to her friend -- then that sorta makes you a shitty husband. And for the record... you're also a crap-ass actor. Suck on it.

For the record: if this turns out not to be true... Sorry David. Bygones. *Wink*

My two dads

This weird-ass canoodling between TC and Will that we've been seeing for the last few days are enough to confuse an adult like me, never mind lil ones like Will's kid here. Seriously why is TC all up in Will's grillz with the promoting of WILL'S movie??? Did the Church fund this flick? Somethin's definitely up.

The Fantastic Fallopian

Jessica Alba's knocked up...

Jessica Alba is pregnant with boyfriend Cash Warren's child, her rep tells PEOPLE exclusively. "I can confirm that Jessica and Cash are expecting a baby in late spring, early summer," says rep Brad Cafarelli. Alba, 26, has dated Warren, 28, since the fall of 2004 after they met on the set of The Fantastic Four, on which Warren was a director's assistant. [people]

It's time to play:

Guess who's the A-HOLE?
(As if we don't know)
Girl's got some issues.

Baby Daddy

I think the baby is now stealing his life's blood now, too.

The douchebagging needs to end

Geez, TC and Will Smith hamming it up again at the I Am Legend premiere. I've truly had enough of this. Just make out and get it over with. You know that's what TC wants anyway.

Goldfinger

Hey, remember that urban legend that the character in the James Bond film Goldfinger died after being painted with gold paint, because there was no uncovered area left for her skin to breath...?

Yeah... I think you know where I'm going with this...

The sexy socialite [Paris Hilton] has created a new line of champagne, and PageSix.com has exclusively obtained images from the accompanying photo shoot. Clad only in gold paint, the heiress is shown crawling through the Mojave Desert. Toward a mirage of her Rich Prosecco spirits, we guess? [page six]

We will not be feeling the noise any longer

So, the truth outs itself, thanks to Quincy MD. Kevin DuBrow, of Quiet Riot (some of you are far too young to recall the cheese factor that was Quiet Riot) died of an apparent drug overdose. Whenever the first obits read: Undetermined Causes -- you can be pretty sure the cause is drug-related.

The death last month of Kevin Dubrow, lead singer for the 1980s heavy metal band Quiet Riot, has been ruled an accidental cocaine overdose. Clark County coroner spokeswoman Samantha Charles confirmed the cause Monday after toxicology results were received Monday. Dubrow was found dead Nov. 25 at his Las Vegas home. He was 52.

Totally bizarre

So supposedly Beck pulling out of a film that he's saying he never agreed to star in caused the double suicide of the filmmaker and her boyfriend. Read on...

The NY Post has another story in the ongoing ogling at Theresa Duncan's death. The East Village artist apparently "fell into suicidal depression after telling friends that oddball rocker Beck backed out of her movie project." So now we have yet another baffling peek into the paranoid mindset Duncan and her long time boyfriend Jeremy Blake were in when they committed suicide, just one week apart from each other.

In the January issue of Vanity Fair, Duncan's fragile mental health will be further exposed when a friend of the couple, Nancy Jo Sales, publishes a series of paranoid emails blaming Beck (who Blake created the "Sea Change" album art for in 2002, pictured) for the untimely demise of her movie, Alice Underground.

"Beck and I met repeatedly to discuss the film," Duncan wrote to a friend in early 2003. Duncan accused the Los Angeles-based Beck of subsequently backing out of the project, fearing that his Scientologist handlers wouldn't like the movie, Vanity Fair will report.

"[Beck] really, really tried to get away . . . [by] using going to NY to be in 'Alice Underground,' " Duncan e-mailed a friend in late 2006.

"He told me he wanted to leave the cult desperately, and this what they do [sic] when someone knows that."

Her movie, incidentally, was about a troupe of New York prep-school girls who kidnap a rock star and save him from his religion...Scientology. It's like Gossip Girl meets Battleship Earth! Beck, however, claims he was only "casual friends" with Duncan, and when hearing of her email claims, he stated: "That's ridiculous. Totally false. We never met to discuss the film. I did explain to her I wasn't looking to act right then, and with the album, tour schedule, and a baby on the way, it wouldn't be feasible." He added, "Had we been closer and discussed anything as personal as religion, I would have only had positive things to say about Scientology."
Of course, they probably weren't very tight, especially if Beck was hip to the impending lawsuit against him being penned by the couple -- according to that lengthy LA Times article: "In a 27-page chronology written by Blake in October in preparation for a lawsuit against the church that was never filed, he alleges the couple was 'methodically defamed, harassed, followed and threatened' by Scientologists. [Beck] is singled out in the legal document as the person responsible for bringing the couple into conflict with the church." The same article states that Duncan's film was ultimately never made "because the studio and the producers could not agree on a budget and executives remained unconvinced of the film's appeal to its target audience, preteen girls."

Though she did often dwell on the subject, Theresa Duncan's final words are still yet to come -- her pre-scheduled post is set to go live on her blog on New Year's Eve. [Gothamist]

Make the nausea stop: Douchebag Overload

I've never liked Will Smith, in fact, he's always induced violent vomming in me since Fresh Prince. I can't watch any of his movies and these pics have me on the verge of grabbing the toilet. Here's Will displaying over-enthusiasm Tom Cruise-style while he gets his hand and footprints immortalized at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in LA. Someone get the barf bags!

Way to go ruin the Oscars, sh!theads...

God, I hate this little caffeinated monkey... and he needs another gig like I need another love handle. Why, why, why won't he just retire already????

Regis Philbin is giving Ryan Seacrest a different kind of red carpet challenge. The Live host has been tapped for "who are you wearing?" duties during the official Academy Award preshow on ABC Feb. 24. ... "Regis is the perfect guy to serve as host," said Oscar producer Dennis Doty. "He knows everyone and everyone loves Regis! [I DON'T! --ed.] I'm thrilled that he has agreed to be the ringmaster for this year's extravaganza." The Philbin-powered preshow will air immediately before the 80th Annual Academy Awards—the half-hour the Academy exclusively reserves for ABC after all the other red carpet crews, including the E! team led by Seacrest, have to pack up their cameras. [eonline]

Could I BE any happier?

A possible Friends reunion? Yes please...

Friends may have ended in 2004, but the successful series lives on in syndication, and a reunion hasn't been ruled out by one of the Central Perk regulars, Courteney Cox. "I don't think so," Cox, 43, tells Us Weekly in its latest issue. "But I would never say 100 percent no." And what would her Friends character, Monica Geller, be up to now? "She's running her suburb and in charge of the PTA," hypothesized Cox, now the star of FX's Dirt. "She's driving Chandler crazy, and he's probably driving her crazy too." [us weekly]

VP Va-Jay-Jay

Check out these poll results from Us Weekly:

Will Oprah Winfrey influence your vote?

Yes

72.43%

21662 votes

No

27.57%

8246 votes

29908 votes

I just can't believe that people are going to vote for someone just because Oprah says to. She's out there campaigning for Obama like she's gonna be VP. Wait, maybe that's what this is about... Vice President Winfrey??? Oh no, my va-jay-jay's a painin'!

Christmas comes early for Joan

David Beckham's new underwear ad for Armani