oooh, this is some good shit

Someone managed to leak a video of Tom Cruise proselytizing about Scientology on to YouTube. Mysteriously, after the blogs and mainstream media pick up on it, it's pulled off of YouTube. Why? What have they got to hide? Here's a partial transcript of what Cruise has to say about his main man, Xenu:

...I think it’s a privilege to call yourself a Scientologist, and it’s something that you have to earn because a Scientologist does... has the ability to create new and better realities and improve conditions. Being a Scientologist, you look at someone and know absolutely that you can help them.

"Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident... you know you have to do something about it because you know you’re the only one that can really help.

"We are the authorities on getting people off drugs, we are the authorities on the mind, we are the authorities on improving conditions... we can rehabilitate criminals.

"It is the time now. Now is the time... Being a Scientologist, people are turning to you, so you better know it, you better know it and if you don’t, go and learn it, but don’t pretend you know it. It’s like we’re here to help.

"So it’s our responsibility to educate, create the new reality. We have that responsibility to say, 'Hey, this is the way it should be done because we do it this way and people are actually getting better.'

"And let’s get it done. Let’s really get it done and have enough love and compassion and toughness that you’re really going to do it and do it right.

"I have to tell you something – it is rough and tumble, and it’s wild and woolly, and it’s a blast, it’s a blast, it really is fun because, dammit, there is nothing better than the going out there and fighting the fight and suddenly you see things are better.

"I do what I can, and I do it the way I do everything. [laughs] There’s nothing part-of-the way for me."

OK. Obviously he's impassioned. He believes. But WHAT THE FUCK IS IT that he believes in. Did you once, whilst reading that mumbo jumbo, catch WTF 'IT' is? WHAT IS IT??? You know, I don't think he knows what 'IT' is. And seriously, what's the big fucking secret?

According to The Huffington Post, here's the scoop on the case of the disappearing promotional video:

Half an hour after posting this story Sunday at 10 pm, about two hours after gawker's time stamp, Huffington Post was alerted that the video content in the story was no longer there or playing.

Mark Ebner, the investigative reporter, just emailed us links to some Scientology promotional videos. Morton's central claim is that Cruise...is the effective number two of the Church of Scientology...The videos bear out, at the very least, that Cruise is central to the organization's marketing efforts. In this amazing clip, to a background track of theme from Mission Impossible, Cruise explains how Scientologists are "the authorities on the mind", the only people who can bring peace and unite cultures.

Wonder if they pulled it because of the Andrew Morton bio -- worried that the video would lend credence to many of Morton's theories. Hmmm? I think we're on to something.