Hey Joan, enjoy a few more...

Some more TomKat wedding pics. YAY, Suri!

That Crazy Borat...

You all know the kind of trouble that Sasha Baren Cohen "Borat" has found himself in recently... well, in addition to all his other infractions, it now seems he's responsible for the breakup of Pam and Kid.

Rock...became furious after watching Sasha Baron Cohen's comedy, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. In the film, Anderson plays a cameo role as the fictional Kazakhstani journalist's dream woman. "[Universal Studio boss] Ron Meyer held a screening of Borat at his house for a bunch of people, including Pam and Bob," Anderson's mate told the New York Post...."Bob [Kid Rock] started screaming at Pam, saying she had humiliated herself and telling her, 'You're nothing but a whore! You're a slut! How could you do that movie?' - in front of everyone. It was very embarrassing....The pal said their relationship "has been icicles between them" ever since the movie screening. [smh.com.au]

Weird. Just too weird. It took him this for him to realize she's a slut? Highly unlikely. I guess he's never seen her body of work. Pun intended.

God we hope this is true...

Melissa heard about this delicious rumor on the radio this morning... so I did a quick search. The Post Chronicle elaborates:

According to US gossip columnist Janet Charlton, a source at Armani said:Tom Cruise had to wear a girdle on his wedding day to fit into his tuxedo, it has been claimed. ... "Tom packed on around twenty pounds in the past few months before the big event. He says he's a 'nervous eater'.

A little too ironic?

Am I the only one who finds this even just a tiny bit ironic? The actress playing the Virgin Mary in the new film, The Nativity, is 16 and pregnant... Art imitating life? Only time will tell if the bun in the oven is the new Messiah.

Keisha Castle-Hughes, the teenage star of a film about the Nativity, has missed its Vatican premiere because she is expecting a baby with her 19-year-old partner. On Friday Pope Benedict XVI turned down an invitation to attend the screening, reportedly because he was embarrassed the unmarried 16-year-old actress is expecting a child out of wedlock. [SFGate]

Why George Clooney Gets My Vote

...as you know, Clooney was voted People's Sexiest Man Alive for the 2nd time. I'm not arguing. He's quite simply, the perfect man: Good looking, talented, intelligent, funny... it's all good.

"He says [paparazzi/tabloid] hassles should be dealt with creatively. ... 'Here is my theory on debunking photographs in magazines...I want to spend every single night for three months going out with a different famous actress. You know, Halle Berry one night, Salma Hayek the next, and then walk on the beach holding hands with Leonardo DiCaprio. People would still buy the magazines, they'd still buy the pictures, but they would aways go, "I don't know if these guys were putting us on or not."'" [Vanity Fair]

Short and serious or long and tosseled?

I can't decide how I like Clay better. Do I prefer the dark and wavy tresses that probably wave freely in the wind. Or do I like the serious shorter do that just seems more business-like?

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt

How much longer are thes two going

to deny they're bumpin' uglies?
Pah-lease.

Strange Bedfellows

I don’t know about you, but this coupling makes me nervous. There’s no telling the amount of mischief and STDs this friendship will spread. No one’s safe. Protect yourself at any cost.

“Spears is the latest star to give people a glimpse of what's usually covered up, a trend that asks the question: What value, if any, does culture place on modesty today? On Nov. 22, cameras caught Spears, the recently separated pop star and mother of two, in a leopard-print minidress so short it revealed her underwear. Two days later, Spears was photographed getting out of a car in a hiked-up miniskirt. This time, her underwear was nowhere to be found.” [ABC]

Where was this new crop of Hollywood starlets raised? In a friggin’ panty-less barn? Do they not know there’s a whole industry out there that was created for the purpose of covering up your hey-nanny-nanny? [Looks like Paris is copping a feel in that pic to the left...] And what can they possibly have in common, these two: A bohunkette from the South with trailer park taste and a champagne pocket and a rich debutante who never worked an honest day in her life, yes still manages to fall ass backwards into earning a living at doing precisely nothing? And, judging from these pictures… Britney’s now entrusting her child to Paris’s care. That, trust me on this, will end badly.

What must a conversation between the two sound like…

PARIS: Like, Britney, you have a baby... that is like the coolest new accessory. I heard that LV is making a bag that you can carry your baby in. I have to get one of those...
BRITNEY: A baby?
PARIS: Yeah. And the bag to carry it in. So, was birth, like hard and all?
BRITNEY: It hurt a lot. But this jowly little bastard was worth it. I just love his chubby cheeks!
PARIS: Maybe I don’t have to like have have one. You know?
BRITNEY: You can adopt. Like Angie and Brad...
PARIS: Yeah... But those countries they adopted from don’t have Tiffany’s and like any running water.
BRITNEY: Well, take it from me. Being a mom is super cool. Once you learn how to hold the baby and not get all emotional and stuff when you drop it a few times... it’s a great feeling.
PARIS: Oooh, look at this new Chanel lip rouge... Raspberry Merlot. I heard LV is making a lipstick holder that comes in genuine crocodile baby skin.
BRITNEY: Oh, girl. Hook me up.

Let the writer's cramp begin...

Like you didn't see this coming... suckah please. Pammy and Kid are callin' it quits. Makes you wonder... since they went and got hitched in like a gazillion cities worldwide, does this mean they have to get a divorce in all those cities as well??? If so, whatever they're paying their lawyers... it's not enough.

Just four months after they married, Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson are heading to divorce court. "She is citing irreconcilable differences," Hersh [Pam's lawyer] said. ... "I'm moving on. … I feel like I'm finally free. … I'm in love. I'm happy. … I see the light. … Sounds dramatic, but it's true," Anderson proclaimed on her Web site.... This month, Anderson revealed that she had suffered a miscarriage just a few weeks after conceiving a child with Kid Rock. [abc]

What the fuck kind of irreconcilable differences can you have after 4 months of marriage? You're still on your frickin' honeymoon for chrissakes. It's like they have nothing better to do than get back together and break up and get back together and... oh, go f yourselves...

I'm gonna soften this with a hot picture first...

Joan, make of this what you will...

Hollywood star Hugh Jackman has an odd way of preparing for teary film scenes - he tugs at his own pubic hair. The upbeat actor admits he struggles to conjure up tears on cue for movies but has started taking fellow Australian Geoffrey Rush's advice and inflicting pain on himself just before a director calls, 'Action!' The X-Men tough guy reveals he used this odd technique to conjure up floods of tears for one scene in new movie The Fountain. He explains, "I remembered a great story from Geoffrey Rush, who had to cry in a scene in a play, so he was experimenting with different ways. Finally, near the end, just before he'd walk out on stage, he used to pluck out a couple of nose hairs and he'd get that first moment of a tear and then he’d go on and start crying. It’s very technical and it works! Try it at home. Pubes work even better!" [Starpulse]

OK, last TomKat wedding post, I promise...

It's hard to stay away with these cause there is so much to say about it all. First off, better luck next time, Armani. Considering you are one of the most important designers in fashion history, Katie doesn't look all that. She looks pretty average considering they dished out millions and millions of bucks to put this shindig together. I wouldn't be smiling so wide.


Here is the whole family, together FINALLY. FINALLY, I see Katie actually touching one of the stepchildren. It's about time those two were included in something besides soccer games.


And what's going on here is beyond me. I almost don't wanna know. Is this a candid from the honeymoon suite? God, I hope not cause I'm 'bout to puke. It looks like Katie is almost OD'ing on vitamins.

TC kisses the beard...

While standing on a milk crate.





And seriously? If you're buying this shit to "collect," you're a loooooooser. Please get another hobby.

O sticks it to TomKat

On the cover of the upcoming issue of O mag, Oprah discusses the polite and politically correct ways of dealing with social faux-pas and other sticky situations. One of them being...

"What to do if someone...Hears you didn't invite them..."

OUCH!

And a big LOL! O will school TC for no one fucks with The O. Oh no, they did-n't, girlfriend.



Looks like these days are OVA!

It's official!

If there were any doubts that the nuptials were 'faked' in anyway... this picture can serve as solid proof the wacky pair have gone and hitched themselves to one another.

Here are some observations:

• It's miraculous, ain't it? How the photographer managed to cut Katie off at the ankles to make her the same height as Tom?
• Tom's tux is Navy Blue. Um... Eiw.
• The veil is splendid... but the gown, well, didn't you imagine it to be more specatcular? It is Armani after all.
• Are they in some sort of dungeon? Why this back drop for the 1st official wedding pic realeased to the press? There had to be a better background in the fabulous setting.
• Katie's matron of honor was her sister, Nancy Blaylock.
• Tom's best man was his best friend, the head of the Church of Scientology David Miscavige.
• Holmes presented her new husband with a $23,000 watch engraved with an "I love you" message on the back.

So... some funny things about said wedding I heard while watching the MSNBC news coverage:

• Brooke Shields bought the couple a blender as a gift. LOL. Last laugh.
• The kiss apparently was so gratuitous that the guests yelled "Stop!"
• Toms's shirt was cut from the same fabric as Katie's gown. Weirdness.
• Posh's hat upstaged the bride.
• The couple was actually 'legally' wed one week prior to the ceremony, in LA by a civil servant.

The knot has been tied

So TC and Katie have done it, the wedding has taken place and details and photos are flowing in.

Katie arrives with Suri to the castle a little before TC does to start the preparations. In the photos where she's in the window looking down, it's almost as if she's mouthing, "HELP ME!"






Then TC arrives.




The castle is in tip-top shape.



As are the guests, one in particular (ahem...POSH) is in a very questionable outfit. WTF?







The town has taken upon itself to wish TomKat good wishes as they hung signs all over the place.






People has some more of the details:

It's official: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are now husband and wife. The couple exchanged vows Saturday in front of more than 150 guests at the Odescalchi Castle in Lake Bracciano, Italy, their rep, Arnold Robinson, confirms to PEOPLE.

"The wedding was absolutely beautiful," says a guest.

With thousands of fans, photographers and TV cameras watching from afar, Cruise and Holmes were joined by family – Katie's dad Martin walked her down the aisle – and a slew of celeb pals, including Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, Brooke Shields and Chris Henchy, Victoria Beckham, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, and Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy, among others.

The sunset ceremony was performed by a Scientology minister, according to a statement from their reps. The wedding party included Cruise's children, Isabella and Connor, the best man was Cruise's best friend, David Miscavige – the head of the Church of Scientology – and Katie's sister Nancy Blaylock served as the matron of honor.

Though initially there were questions about whether Cruise and Holmes's marriage on Saturday was official – the Mayor of Bracciano, Italy, said the couple needed to have a civil ceremony in town in order to make it legal – Cruise's reps say Tom and Katie took care of everything beforehand.

"As is customary for couples marrying outside of the United States, Cruise and Holmes officialized their marriage in Los Angeles prior to their departure for Italy," according to the statement.

Other details released Saturday by the newlyweds:

• The bride: Holmes wore an off-the-shoulder Armani gown with a train in ivory silk cadis adorned in Valenciennes lace and Swarovski beaded crystal embroidery. Holmes also wore an ivory tulle floor-length veil and ivory silk shoes. Armani, which outfitted the entire wedding, also supplied Katie's bouquet of calla lilies, as well as a champagne evening gown, which she wore at the reception.

• The groom: Cruise wore a navy blue Armani tux.

• The couple's rings: Their rings were white gold Cartier with diamonds.

• The meal: After cocktails, guests were served Italian hors d'oeuvres, followed by a multi-course meal.

• The cake: Five-tiered white chocolate, decorated with marzipan roses, and studded with white chocolate chips.

• The entertainment: Italian singer Andrea Bocelli.

Saturday's wedding started on a damp note, with scattered rain throughout the morning. Holmes and 7-month-old daughter Suri were escorted into the castle under a cluster of green umbrellas. A little over an hour later, the groom was escorted from the Hassler hotel in Rome to Lake Bracciano 18 miles away. With the sun going down, candles lit up the perimeter of the 15th-century castle as limousines carrying the guests drove through the gates.

Fans and media were kept at a safe distance from the castle: Police checkpoints prevented anyone unauthorized from getting too close, and journalists were stationed in the nearby town square.

Saturday's ceremony brought the couple's 19-month romance full circle: Cruise and Holmes first stepped out as a couple in Rome in April 2005, with Cruise already referring to Holmes as "amore mio" just a few weeks after their first date (sushi, a private plane ride and a motorcycle trip to the beach). [People]

Questionable arrivals at the TomKat wedding

After seeing some of the photos of who is arriving for this shindig, I got to wondering: Why the hell are some of these people there? Like Jenny McCartney and J.Lo? Huh? Am I missing something? I mean, even Oprah didn't get an invite and TC trampled all over her couch. I highly doubt some of these folks hang out at the Telluride manse and exchange L.Ron-isms, do they? God, I hope not, I like Jenny McCartney and Jim Carrey way too much for them to turn out to be freakin' Scientologists. Well, luckily for me, TMZ has gotten to the bottom of this...

Who knew that TomKat and J.Lo were such bosom buddies? Not us -- maybe not even them.

Given that we thought the guest list at the Cruise-Holmes nuptials in Italy seemed more like a Fellini film, or an episode of "The Surreal Life" -- Marc Anthony? Jenny McCarthy? Jenna Elfman? -- we tried to break down exactly what some of these people were doing all the way over in Bracciano, so far away from home. It should make for some awkward moments during the dinner hour.

Several of the guests -- John Travolta, Elfman and her husband Bodhi, and Leah Remini -- are members of the Scientology tribe, so that makes sense. But what about J. Lo? It turns out that Lopez and Remini are close pals ... and remember that Remini was the first celeb to cop to a Suri sighting, so we know she's in the inner circle.

Now we're pretty sure that Jenny McCarthy and TomKat haven't worked together on anything recently, but J-Mac's squeeze, Jim Carrey, used to go out with Renee Zellweger, who, of course, was Cruise's co-star in "Jerry Maguire." No word from Carrey's rep on whether this rather tenuous connection is the precise reason for his attendance.

Perhaps J.Lo's husband Anthony said it best in a toast he reportedly gave last night in the bar at the wedding hotel in Rome: "To life, to the occasion, and to new friends." Or, as the case may be, complete strangers. [TMZ]

Something went terribly wrong...

Posh and Becks arrived in Rome this morning for this weekend's big bash. Posh is looking like a haggy school marm that will whip you across the wrists if you ate your pudding before you had your meat. And Becks....oy, there really are no words at all. Why does he even own this sweater?

Suri does Rome

I know, I know...I've posted a lot of Suri pics lately but I HEART SURI! I may make fun of her crazy daddy, but Suri is so incredibly cute.