Strange Bedfellows

I don’t know about you, but this coupling makes me nervous. There’s no telling the amount of mischief and STDs this friendship will spread. No one’s safe. Protect yourself at any cost.

“Spears is the latest star to give people a glimpse of what's usually covered up, a trend that asks the question: What value, if any, does culture place on modesty today? On Nov. 22, cameras caught Spears, the recently separated pop star and mother of two, in a leopard-print minidress so short it revealed her underwear. Two days later, Spears was photographed getting out of a car in a hiked-up miniskirt. This time, her underwear was nowhere to be found.” [ABC]

Where was this new crop of Hollywood starlets raised? In a friggin’ panty-less barn? Do they not know there’s a whole industry out there that was created for the purpose of covering up your hey-nanny-nanny? [Looks like Paris is copping a feel in that pic to the left...] And what can they possibly have in common, these two: A bohunkette from the South with trailer park taste and a champagne pocket and a rich debutante who never worked an honest day in her life, yes still manages to fall ass backwards into earning a living at doing precisely nothing? And, judging from these pictures… Britney’s now entrusting her child to Paris’s care. That, trust me on this, will end badly.

What must a conversation between the two sound like…

PARIS: Like, Britney, you have a baby... that is like the coolest new accessory. I heard that LV is making a bag that you can carry your baby in. I have to get one of those...
BRITNEY: A baby?
PARIS: Yeah. And the bag to carry it in. So, was birth, like hard and all?
BRITNEY: It hurt a lot. But this jowly little bastard was worth it. I just love his chubby cheeks!
PARIS: Maybe I don’t have to like have have one. You know?
BRITNEY: You can adopt. Like Angie and Brad...
PARIS: Yeah... But those countries they adopted from don’t have Tiffany’s and like any running water.
BRITNEY: Well, take it from me. Being a mom is super cool. Once you learn how to hold the baby and not get all emotional and stuff when you drop it a few times... it’s a great feeling.
PARIS: Oooh, look at this new Chanel lip rouge... Raspberry Merlot. I heard LV is making a lipstick holder that comes in genuine crocodile baby skin.
BRITNEY: Oh, girl. Hook me up.