Los Angeles, CA
Armed with the following signs:
Joan and Melissa headed for:
Upon our arrival, one of the first things we noticed was how much traffic there was in and out of the Center, both on foot and in vehicles. But we found a quiet spot around back that also afforded us a good view of the infamous neon Scientology Celebrity Center sign. And the following ensued:
After Melissa had completed her mission, Joan was getting ready to start her end of the mission when we noticed that a security guard had spotted us. He was walking along across the street when almost as if it was an afterthought, he turned around and started coming toward us. We knew the jig was up! Joan clutched the signs tightly to her breasts as Melissa lowered the camera and put it out of sight. Said guard had shaved head, robotic movements, blank eyes, an even tone of voice and a non-descript accent. He donned a navy blue uniform, much like a cop's, but with a circular patch on the upper arm that stated Scientology Celebrity Center, Security. And the conversation went a little something like this:
Guard: What are you girls up to?
Us: Nuttin'. (Coyly)
Guard: I see you got some signs there. Mind if I see them?
Joan: (Clutching signs even tighter to breasts) Oh, yeah, they're nothing, we're just being silly.
Guard: Are you here to see Mr. Cruise?
Melissa: Maybe, is he in the house?
Joan: He's probably in Italy getting married.
Melissa: Or in Telluride.
Guard: That Vanity Fair article was really nice.
Joan: Suri is a beautiful baby.
Guard: That Vanity Fair article was really nice.
Melissa: Yes, it was very down to earth.
Guard: Tom Cruise is a human being just like everyone else.
(This is when we knew that he had been programmed and we had to adjust our modus operendus.)
Joan: Well, of course. When I was 16, Top Gun came out. That was a bad year for me, I was all over that. [Note: Joan doesn't know why she panicked and said she was 16, she was more like 12.]
Melissa: Oh yeah, I thought he was so hot, humina, humina, humina.
Joan: Can we go ahead and take more pictures around the other side?
Guard: Sure...
(We quickly got our asses back in the car and went around the other side of the compound. The Xenu Mobile.)
Chased from our preferred spot, we had to settle for a spot across the street where Joan continued her end of the mission:
As we were getting ready to leave, Joan snapped one more picture. Bear in mind, this has not been doctored in any way, shape, or form:
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9 comments:
LMAO!!!! You are both my new heroes!! I absolutely love these pics, and the convo with the droid/guard is just priceless! Mad props for sticking it to the crazies in pure J&M style :) Btw, that last pic? CREEPY!
- Helena
LOL nice signs.
16? no. I was gonna say... I thought both of you ladies were around my age, and I was 11.
Palm trees are crazy tall and skinny, aren't they? And just what are we supposed to be looking at in the last pic? Looks like the camera moved a little.
That last pic looks so cool, like some Xenu energy's surrounding you guys. You know what you've done with those signs, right? Just you watch, darn Scientologists are gonna be right and you guys are gonna spend the afterlife dodging angry monkey poop bombs!
Johnny
Helena, guess they don't teach you how to click the publish button just once in law school, huh?
Johnny
That's Helena from Bookspan, not Elena, Teddy's sister!
oh, an editor. it makes sense now :)
johnny
nicole,
why aren't you smiling? are you upset that you didn't get to take pics in the front of the center? that nuray always hogs up the spotlight!
johnny
lol. i thought not smiling would evoke a certain mood.
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