The Batman Dilemma

Did Christian Bale abuse or not abuse his mum and sis just days prior to the release of the latest megablockbuster in the Batman series from director Christopher Nolan. He was released on bail, but not charged. And there is no evidence of physical assault, according to the police. It appears the fight was a verbal disagreement and someone, no one knows who, called the cops. Recent reports state that his mum badmouthed his wife and Bale heatedly defended her. Also, Bale's sister asked for $200,000 in cash to help her raise her kids. So, was this extortion? Who knows.... But Bale has been estranged from his mother for years. He went to live with his dad when the couple divorced years ago. But, I think VH1's Best Week Ever really sums it up in their report:

Consider this piece “Abuse, Explained.”

But we think we’ve figured all of it out. Why Christian has such vengeance and hatred for his own mother. Everything can pretty much be explained by the following sentence, taken from the UK newspaper, The Sun:

Mum Jenny, 61 — a part-time clown — is said to have claimed she was pushed over during the row, which broke out in –

Hold on, hold on. Repeat that first part again?

Mum Jenny, 61 — a part-time clown.

I see. Christian Bale’s mother… IS A F**KING CLOWN. And please, allow us to remind you:

The Joker? Also a clown of sorts.

So let me see if I get this straight: A method actor plays a superhero who battles a demented clown. This actor is also in the stages of mourning the death of said clown actor. And this same actor, exhausted from working constantly, now lashes out against his mother, who is also a clown, after she talks sh*t about his wife?

In other words, Batman:Joker::Christian Bale:His Mom The Clown. And really, can you blame him? Clowns are goddamned terrifying. We’re amazed he was able to restrain himself so well. Christian Bale is still a hero, folks! Sleep easy tonight.