Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Joan & Melissa's 2007 Golden Globe Wrap-Up

Joan: Ahh, nothing like a red carpet to get my juices flowing... Last night's Golden Globe Awards were mildly entertaining, but the fashions were something to behold. Some people should really stand in front of a mirror before leaving the house... (Don't these people have stylists?) Melissa, thoughts?

Melissa: Bad Looks 101, a lot of actresses had it going on in that category. Vanessa Williams' hair was outta control. I love an afro but it was a half-ro, the front was straight and the back exploded. Beyonce looked hideous. There are no words. Jennifer Love Hewitt looked like a disaster in that god-awful copper gown she wore. Sienna looked like a butterface. All bad, very bad.





Joan: It really was a suckfest... Sienna Miller is down for my worst dressed. Along with Cameron Diaz (consider another shade of red lipstick, girl) Jennifer Garner (you might want to have the dress fitted before wearing it) and Beyonce (too much is too much). As far as men – well, they were just as bad – but the worst, by far, was Jeremy Irons – who looked like a reject from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. And as far as Sean John – he might have to hand in his design license – cause P. Diddy was Tack to the Y. Ick.




Melissa: Oh, I did forget Jennifer Garner, agreed, awful dress and do your hair a little! And I was disappointed with Cate Blanchette who normally looks so well put-together. I didn't like her plain hair and I don’t think the black lacey, uneven hemmed dress suited her. A little too goth. Evangeline Lilly disappointed as well. I hated that pastel 80's looking gown. I also think Salma Hayek didn't quite pull it off this year when she usually looks so good. I didn’t like the white gown, it basically looked like she took a bedsheet and wrapped it around herself. It was too bulky and made her look bigger than she really is. But I agree with Jeremy Irons. I think he was taking fashion tips from Steven Seagal. Awful. Other than that, I think the men did an overall good job.



Now my bests: Reese. What a breath of fresh air in that bright yellow dress and awesome red shoes. I also loved her straightened hair and bangs. I liked Drew's dress a lot as well.


Joan: I loved Cate's dress, but not the whole look. It could have been done better, I agree. I loved Sheryl Crow. She looked fab...great dress, great color... all good. I also liked Sarah Paulson, very nice in white and Kate Walsh, shimmery in gold. Best male – it’s hard to say – but who can go wrong with Clooney?



Melissa: Best males: Justin Timberlake, Clooney, Leonardo, and Djimon Hounsou all looked delish.



Joan: On to some dirt... did you notice how sullen and moody Angelina seemed on Brangie's first Hollywood-type appearance? She was soooooo cold to Ryan on the podium... She just seemed very above it all – like she was too good to be there. I heard she sent all the St. John dresses back and made them send her something she approved of... Ick. Am not liking this.


Melissa: Angelina was pretty cold, I did notice that and was disappointed by it. Wonder why? Some people would interpret it as her appearing like she was above it all, but maybe she didn’t feel well? Who knows? I didn't hear about her sending the St.John dresses back though. Catty, if it's true.

Onto other gossip, how delicious is it that Justin and Cameron's people had them scheduled to arrive at separate times. I guess they ain't "friends."

Joan: And the separate tables? Imagine the party planners losing their shit – praying that these people don’t break up prior to the show – just so they don't have to rearrange the seating charts. LOL. Oof.

Hey, did you notice that Hurley (LOST) is actually heavier than he was? I mean, how are the writers going to account for this? What is he eating on that island? Sheesh.


Melissa: Yes, good call!!! He did seem heavier. And why can't they get that dude to lose some weight? Seriously, at his size, he can easily shed a good 50 pounds just by cutting calories. Then it would be realistic that he’s losing weight cause HE’S STUCK ON A DESERTED ISLAND. How cute did Jin and Sun look? And Sawyer? Humina, humina, humina.



Did you catch that awkward interview with American Ferrera and Maria whateverhernameis after America won the GG and was just coming offstage??? About a minute after she won best actress for Ugly Betty, Maria Menunos reminds America Ferrera that she wasn't first choice for the role.


Joan: Yes! It gave me douche chills! Yeesh. The funniest moment had to be Sasha Baron Cohen's acceptance speech for Borat:


This movie was a life-changing experience. I saw some amazing, beautiful, invigourating parts of America but I saw some dark parts of America an ugly side of America, a side of America that rarely sees the light of day. "I refer of course to the anus and testicles of my co-star Ken Davitian Ken, when I was in that scene and I stared down and saw your two wrinkled golden globes on my chin, I thought to myself, 'I'd better win a bloody award for this.' And then, when my 300 pound co-star decided to sit on my face and squeeze the oxygen from my lungs, I was faced with a choice death or to breathe in the air that had been trapped in a small pocket between his buttocks for 30 years. Kenneth, if it was not for that rancid bubble, I would not be here today.

Melissa: Yes, very, very funny! And more hilarity ensued with Hugh Laurie's acceptance speech: "Logically not everyone can have the best crew, someone out there works with a crew of drunken thieves. But my crew really does smell like freshly mowed grass."


Joan: LOL. Yes, good stuff. Let's hope the Oscars pull out a more fashionable crowd... Overall, I wasn't impressed. Hollywood: Get your act together... you're on notice.

Melissa: Overall, I wasn't impressed all that much either. Hopefully the SAG's and then the Oscar's make up for what this red carpet was lacking. Till then, get your stylists working overtime!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

sienna and sun looked great! hugh's cool as heck. ugly betty did not look good (boobs were practically in my face) but i thought handled that retarded post-victory interview well.

johnny