Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Cruise: We Are Not Alone



More insight from TC:

Asked in an interview with the tabloid daily Bild if he believed in aliens, Cruise said: "Yes, of course. Are you really so arrogant as to believe we are alone in this universe? "Millions of stars, and we're supposed to be the only living creatures? No, there are many things out there, we just don't know." [Reuters]

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Just to recap...



Since Scientology has been in the news so much as of late, due to TomKat's recent declarations...I thought it relevant to recap a recent statement made by a semi-high-profile Scientologist. Jenna Elfman made a bizarre statement in Jan. 05 and kind of just dropped off the the face of the earth. Here's the quote, from Scientology's publication: Celebrity...

"I intend to make Scientology as accessible to as many people as I can. And that is my goal," Elfman said. To do this, she says, it is my "duty to clear the planet." By "clearing"” she means to rid the world of '“body thetans'— aliens who Scientologists believe inhabit the earth from a nuclear explosion 75 million years ago."[MSNBC]


Yeah, that sounds perfectly reasonable. --Joan

PDA Central...


At the NYC premiere of War of the Worlds. She might consider tossing her heels for flats. I'm convinced TC is a midget. There has to be at least one woman who doesn't tower over him. --Joan.

At this rate, they'll be celebrating their Golden Anniversary tomorrow.



It gets 'curiouser and curiouser'...

"The besotted pair that are Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have made another proclamation of their love - with Tom declaring that he wants kids with his fiancee. He didn't beat around the bush when he was asked whether he wanted children with her, confidently replying "yes". "We would have to talk to our families about it," he added." [Sky Showbiz/sky.com]

I don't understand this... Why would they have to talk to their families about having children? They're adults. And, correct me if I'm wrong here, but isn't planning to have children something that's between the couple -- and no one else? So, I'm not clear... are they seeking permission? Are they requiring something else from their families...like DNA? Rumor has had it for quite some time that Cruise is infertile, which is why Nicole Kidman and he decided upon adoption. Furthermore, there were rumors that Nicole became pregnant -- thus proving her infidelity and leading to the ultimate dissolution of their marriage. Tom was quoted as saying: "Nic know what she did wrong." Even still, these rumors died down quickly enough...giving them less credence.

Should Tom and Katie decide to adopt or conceive by other means, other than the conventional kind...then it's safe to assume many, if not all, of these rumors have been confirmed.

We'll keep watching. --Joan

Friday, June 24, 2005

Celebrity Idol? Yes, please :)



Breaking news on the Idol front, from E! Online:

"Instead of watching gifted nobodies battle for fame and glory on American Idol, fans of the talent search may soon be able to watch their favorite stars duke it out on the newly minted Celebrity Idol. ... Ten famous folk would make up the cast, pitting their vocal stylings against one another for a $1 million prize, which would go to the winner's charity of choice...there would be no embarrassing auditions to determine who made the cut. The show would reportedly be broadcast as a 10-episode miniseries of sorts over a two to three week period. Viewers would still vote by phone to determine which contestant would be eliminated and the results would be revealed on the next performance show. Producers are working on attaching Idol judges Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson, as well as host Ryan Seacrest, to the project. Fox exec Mike Darnell told Daily Variety that the plan was "to go for the biggest talent possible," in terms of the celebrities who would make up the cast. "We're looking for people who can sing but aren't known for singing," Darnell said."

God knows, Melissa and I will be glued to the screen. ;) --Joan

Armchair Preacher



As if you thought the Tom Cruise freakout couldn't get any weirder, Cruise sat down with Today show host, Matt Lauer to discuss the recent events in his life, and -- oh yeah -- push that new movie he's in. Such a multi-tasker, that Level 6 Operative Thetan. Cruise proceeded to be downright condescending to Lauer in what was an uncomfortable segment for the usually light celebrity spotlight. Here are some of the more awkward moments, as stated in the CNN wrap-up [http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/TV/06/24/people.cruise.ap/index.html]:

On Katie and Love:
"I have never worried ... about what other people think and what other people say." ... "I have to tell you. It's just a great time in my life," ... "I'm really happy. And, you know, I'm engaged. I'm going to be married. I can't restrain myself." The actor, whose marriages to Mimi Rogers and Nicole Kidman ended in divorce, declined to say what Holmes has brought to his life that wasn't there in the past." I don't want to compare things," Cruise said. "It's that thing where you just -- in life when it just happens. ... You meet someone. And it's -- I can't even describe it."
On Katie and Scientology:
"When asked if he could be with someone at this stage in his life who doesn't have an interest in the Church of Scientology ... "Scientology is something that you don't understand. It's like you could be a Christian and be a Scientologist."It is a religion. Because it's dealing with the spirit. You as a spiritual being."
On Brooke Shields, anti-depressants and psychiatry:
When Lauer mentioned Cruise's earlier criticism of Brooke Shields for taking anti-depressants, Cruise told the "Today" show co-host he didn't know what he was talking about. "You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do." ... "Matt, Matt, you don't even -- you're glib," Cruise responded. "You don't even know what Ritalin is. If you start talking about chemical imbalance, you have to evaluate and read the research papers on how they came up with these theories, Matt, OK. That's what I've done."
Phew. Hard to read. Even harder to watch, I presume. So glad I didn't have to catch this en vivo. I would have gotten that "embarrassed-for-him/feel-like-i'm-hanging-off-a-cliff" feeling I always get when someone is making a complete ass of themselves in public.

To CNN's credit, they posted an interesting poll alongside this story. Here are the results so far:
Tom Cruise calls psychiatry "a pseudoscience." Do you agree?

Yes 21% 8745 votes
No 79% 33434 votes

Total: 42179 votes

© 2005 Cable News Network LP, LLLP.
A Time Warner Company. All Rights Reserved

--Joan

Blood is thicker than water...



Does anyone have trouble believing Lindsay's career may end up being the focus of a Very Special Episode of Jerry Springer? --Joan

"Lindsay Lohan's uncle Paul Sullivan has been arrested for allegedly misusing a government loan. Sullivan's company the Ropa Group acts as exclusive agent for the Hyundai Motor Company to the United Nations, but vital trade was lost after the September 11th terrorist attacks - leading the business mogul to apply for a $1.5 million loan in an attempt to revive the company and its subsidiaries. The Ropa Group was granted a loan of $647,000 on the understanding that $98,000 would be used for working capital and $548,300 for outstanding debts and liabilities. However, the complaint alleges debtors were never paid, and that their endorsements on the checks had been faked. Sullivan, who was tried at US District Court in Central Islip, New York, was released on a $250,000 bond. Sullivan denied the charges, insisting, "Everything is fine. It's a misunderstanding." [IMDB]

Hermes says: My Bag...



It would appear the world's most famous talk-show host can't even get a friggin Hermes bag... which means Melissa and I don't stand a snowball's chance in hell. This comes from the people at IMDB:
" Oprah Winfrey isn't likely to return to any of Hermes' stores in the near future after being humiliated by store bosses in Paris, France. The luxury goods company was forced to issue an apology to Winfrey earlier this week, after the talk show host was turned away at the door of the Paris store last week, while she was shopping for a gift for pal Tina Turner. Security staff informed Winfrey that the store was closed for a public relations meeting, but the TV star's best pal and traveling companion Gayle King insists Oprah was treated badly. King says, "People were in the store and they were shopping. Oprah was at the door and she was not allowed into the store... It was one of the most humiliating moments of her life." Winfrey's pal also states that Oprah is upset by the Hermes' apology because "it implies that nothing offensive happened". Winfrey has called the president of Hermes in America, Robert Chavez, to inform him she will no longer be shopping in his stores. Oprah has also cancelled a bag she had on order from the store."
Now, I understand's O's gal pal feeling the need to defend her friend...but, "one of the most humiliating moments of [Oprah's] life"??? I think that's going a little too far. -Joan

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Come on, come on, come on, come on...take it...take another little piece of my heart now, baby

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

First of all... Sunglasses should never be that large and round. She looks like a bumble bee. 2nd... Is that the woman "Rodriguez" who is "coaching" her? Or is it his sister? --Joan

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Ugh...


she is so damn talented, but has no goddamn fashion sense. damn. --joan

This dress is awful for her body type. --Melissa

Batman Begins and Ends for Holmes...



Seems like Katie Holmes' On-Cloud-Nine romance with Tom Cruise is affecting her career...negatively. This from IMDB.com:

Christian Bale, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman have signed to star in a second Batman movie, but love interest Katie Holmes has been dropped. Movie bosses are thrilled with the response to Batman Begins - it took $46.9 million in its first weekend at the US box office - and have snapped up the film's stars for a sequel. Bale as Batman was the first to put pen to paper, followed by Caine as butler Alfred and Freeman as Bruce Wayne's business associate Lucius Fox. But Holmes won't reprise her role as district attorney Rachel Dawes - reportedly because Warner Bros is angry her engagement to Tom Cruise has stolen media attention away from the movie. A source tells Pagesix.Com, "Everyone is in agreement that the movie's strength is with Christian Bale, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman." Adding of Holmes, "She won't be in the sequel... the next romantic interest will be a much stronger actress. Warner is happy that people are now focusing on who'll be playing the Joker rather than Katie and Tom."

I wonder if that woman's face froze like that

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Butterscotch Stallion...

[This is all over the blogs this morning: Owen's nickname is The Butterscotch Stallion. We need to know why and how it came about.]--Early on 6/21/05

Mystery Solved... Sorta. The well-known blog Defamer seems to have coined the term "Butterscotch Stallion" in reference to Owen's blonde locks and rustic charm. Melissa and I, search as we might, were unable to find any other derivation of this nickname...to prove what was heard on this morning's Stern show. Per Stern and his cohorts, the NY Post's Page Six column mentioned Wilson's nickname and a story that has him engaged flagrante delecto w/a woman, who claims he "licked her ass for 2 hours straight." Thus, coining the nickname. Wilson denies this story. Until there's more to tell...that's all there is. --Joan, later on 6/21/05

Monday, June 20, 2005

Jennifer Garner is a very lucky woman, part two

Jen G. waits for B.Aff to unlock the door for her while he's sucking his ciggy on the other side.




Also see the original Jennifer Garner is a very lucky woman.

Well, this couple gets my vote to replace Britney and Kevin as this year's BEST IN WHITE TRASH. First of all, she shouldn't be drinking anything from Starbucks while she's pregnant. And him... who the f smokes anymore? I mean, get a friggin' life... at least he's not smoking in the car, w/the windows up, w/his pregnant girlfriend next to him. I predict these two will have their own reality show in a few months time -- PREGNANT: WITH BENNIFER2. --Joan

Joan, I cannot even believe that after all this, you'd still take Ben over Matt. From day one that these two came on the celeb scene, I was always about Matt and will forever be. He's just so much hotter and seems the smarter of the pair and more put-together. Joan, you disappoint me with your Ben preference. And judging from the length of that ciggy, it looks like he just lit it...Jen's gonna be waiting for a while before these two drive away, if he indeed isn't going to smoke that cancer stick with her right there. --Melissa

Everyone's Wondering...

...has Tom Cruise flipped his nut? Here's some interesting insight from Richard "Two Thumbs Up/Down" Roeper:
Earlier this year, though, Cruise fired his longtime and fiercely protective publicist Pat Kinglsey, and replaced her with his sister. I don't want to lay all this on the sister-publicist, but something tells me Kingsley would have at least advised Cruise against making out with Holmes on red carpets; acting like a 15-year-old by hopping on a sofa and doing an I'm-in-love-dance with Oprah; ripping Brooke Shields on "Access Hollywood," and getting into all sorts of debates about Scientology and its crusade against psychiatry.

Can you imagine a 43-year-old Clint Eastwood falling to his knees, pumping his fists, holding hands with the host and dancing on Merv Griffin's chairs to declare he was in love?

Yeah. Me neither.

To read the rest, go here:
http://www.suntimes.com/output/roeper/cst-nws-roep07.html

His most recent press appearance at the London premiere of War of the Worlds had him soaking wet:
Tom Cruise was squirted in the face by a man posing as a reporter. Four men were released on bail after being arrested and were ordered to return to a police station Monday....

Cruise initially appeared to laugh at the incident but then asked the prankster: "Why would you do that?"

As the man gave a barely audible excuse, Cruise said: "Do you like thinking less of people, is that it?" The prankster tried to walk away but Cruise reached across the metal barrier, held his arm and said: "Don't run away. That's incredibly rude. I'm here giving you an interview and you do that ... it's incredibly rude." [yahoo news]



Go here to see the video of him reprimanding the guy who did it!

And, Melissa has this to add:
Did you hear the latest? I don't know if this is the real reason or a rumor but it's juicy nonetheless. You know how Scarlett Johannson was picked to play opposite TC in MI3? She just recently dropped out cause supposedly TC gave her a three-hour spiel on Scientology on the set and then took her upstairs to a dining room where high-level Scientologists were gathered, waiting to have dinner with TC and SJ! She left the set and then dropped out of the film.

To which I replied:
Get the frig outta here!!! I heard she dropped out, but didn't know y. I also heard they're thinking about replacing her w/katie. Big surprise!!!

What's really going on? Who knows... But we'll be on it when the next outburst bursts!

--Joan


For more info on the TC/SJ debacle, go here. According to this article, TC is on a rampage trying to find new blood to recruit. When SJ didn't return his phone calls, he turned to other young Hollywood stars. GET A LIFE, TC! --Melissa

Friday, June 17, 2005

Katie, Do you take this Level 6 Operative Thetan?

Well... it's official: The engagement that is. Tom and Katie are gettin' hitched. Yahoo News provides the scoop:
"Cruise said he and girlfriend Katie Holmes are engaged, after he popped the question early Friday morning atop the Eiffel Tower....

The couple often shared smiles and blushes as Cruise turned to look at her, with a massive diamond ring on her finger.

"It was early this morning at the Eiffel Tower, so I haven't slept at all," he said. "Today is a magnificent day for me, I'm engaged to a magnificent woman."

Asked why he chose the famed Paris landmark, he said: "I've never been to the Eiffel Tower. It's Paris, it's a beautiful city, it's very romantic."

Cruise said no date for a wedding has been set: "We haven't discussed that — one step at a time," he said. "Let's see. We're not sure." ... Holmes did not speak to reporters, but at one point, Cruise whispered to her: "Are you OK?" Afterward, the two hurried into a car before leaving for a promotional event in Marseilles, southern France. ...

Holmes was in London earlier this week to promote her new film, "Batman Begins." She had also dismissed accusations that the couple had staged a relationship for publicity.

Holmes said then that she was embracing Scientology — Cruise's religion."
[By SOPHIE NICHOLSON, Associated Press Writer]
And, there you have it. Together, they'll save the world. --Joan

I gotta put this out there...the proposal on top of the Eiffel Tower, although it's probably one of the most common and played out, is also sooooooo romantic! But that aside, these two are bananas, like Gwen S. says, "b-a-n-a-n-a-s." --Melissa

Here are some pics of the ring, I'm sure Xenu helped TC pick it out...



"Hi, I'm Tom, I just asked Katie to be my pretend wife. I'm so high on vitamins right now. Holy cottonmouth."

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Xenu! Yeah, I Said It! And I'll Say It Again!


Tom Cruise with David Miscavige, Chairman


Well, this thing with Tom Cruise just keeps getting weirder and weirder. While driving in to work this morning and listening to Stern, as I'm wont to do, a whole new world was opened to me: The World of Xenu.

What, pray tell, is Xenu? Well, I hope you're sitting down for this... According to the convo on Stern's show this morning (and backed up by the site: www.xenu.net, Operation Clambake)... Xenu is a Space Monkey. And, not your average run-of-the-mill Space Monkey either (That's him up in the right-hand corner of the above picture). See, the story goes like this:

75 million years ago, Xenu came to Earth to deal with the over-population problem. He placed Earth's population near all of the volcanoes and set off H-Bombs simultaneously. But the thetans, or souls, remained. And... well... it's really quite convoluted. I suggest you go to xenu.net to read the rest...

What does this all have to do with Tom Cruise? Well, this is the core belief of Scientology. And, being a mid-level Scientologist, Tom is able to "control energy and affect space and time." It's his mission, as for all Scientologists, to free the world from Xenu's control. I shit you not. From xenu.net's FAQ on Celebrities and Scientology, a court testimony/statement states the following:

 
127.  The purpose of auditing at the OT III level, such as Tom

Cruise has received, is to contact and audit the bts and clusters so

that the bts and clusters leave the body of the auditor. The purpose of

this is to free the person from the determinism of the bts and clusters.

However, the bts and clusters that are released by the solo auditor are

now back at the beginning of their implant which they received 75

million years ago. Survival then retriggers the basic implant which

then picks up a body, or attaches to one that is already occupied, and

re begins the whole cycle.
 128.  The ultimate goal of auditing is the return of self

determinism and abilities of the person being audited. In other words,

to return the person to the state they were in 75 million years ago

before Xenu handled the over-population problem.


 Go here to read the rest of this testimony: http://home.snafu.de/tilman/faq-you/celeb.txt

Now, as for Katie. Well, she is being chaperoned at her publicity events by a woman who is on the same level in the church as Tom Cruise. They are "grooming" her as she accepts Scientology into her life. (As heard on Stern this morning.)

--Joan

Jennifer Garner is a very lucky woman

From being married to the sweet Scott Foley to bearing the child and being betrothed to the frattiest of frat boys...
Actress Christina Applegate still can't believe Ben Affleck deliberately displayed his genitals to her while shooting a movie scene. The 33-year-old was working with the eccentric heart-throb on Surviving Christmas last year, when she saw more of him than she expected. She says, "They were doing a shot of a briefcase and Ben put his stuff on the case. It was gross." And Applegate is not the first Hollywood star to witness his racy humor, director Kevin Smith had to endure Affleck's favorite prank - resting his scrotum on the back of the movie maker's neck during breaks on the set of movie flop Jersey Girl. [IMDb]

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Jesus Juice anyone?



Melissa: Well, well, well...another day of utter disappointment in our country’s judicial system, more so our jury system, which I’ve always have been uncomfortable with. I’m just not confident enough that 12 Joe Schmoes starring at the face of one Michael Jackson, international superstar, child molester or not, Jesus Juice provider to the underage or not, can properly decide the fate of such a deviant mind (and I truly believe he is deviant). Someone who has defiled young children is now free to walk the planet along with the likes of OJ who murdered two people. On the flip side, Martha who pulled out of her stock based on an inside tip, went to jail for it. While that is wrong too, it is money, M-O-N-E-Y. With the MJ thing, we’re dealing with people--children. While I can’t rant totally on MJ for what he did, which is wrong no matter who was at his house or in his bed (YUCK!), the parents of these children are absolute retards for letting them sleepover at this freak’s house in the first place. No way in hell would I ever, ever let my 10-year-old stay over at a 47-year-old man’s house unsupervised. For what??? What can a 47-year-old man possibly want with 10-year-olds sleeping over??? That is a gigantic red flag. Obviously, something is wrong. But you know why these parents let their kids sleepover? Cause it’s MJ. Had it have been any other 47-year-old man, these parents would have been like, "Ew, get away from my child, you child molester freak!"

Joan: Melissa, I can’t agree w/you more. This entire freakshow is really just the most ridiculous fiasco I’ve seen recently. The fact that this jury of MJ’s peers exonerated him only gives him license to go ahead and do it some more. He will, no doubt, continue this abhorrent behavior – and probably to a much higher degree. How many times can one man be tried/brought up on similar charges and not have to pay for his crime? If I had a nickel for every person who has said: Oh, well…he’s sick. He doesn’t know what he’s doing is wrong. Bullshit. He knows full well what he’s doing is wrong – for crying out loud – he built his estate into a kiddy park to lure them in! The only adults this man deals with are the ones he employs and his shady family. Another thing I hear is: Oh, you can’t send a man to jail just cause he’s weird… Um, it’s not just cause he’s weird – cause if it was he’d be serving 20 consecutive life sentences. It’s because, as he admitted on national TV, he SLEEPS W/BOYS!!! My God – has the idea of celebrity colored people‘s minds so much they are incapable of seeing what’s obvious??? How is it that celebrities, like OJ, Robert Blake, and MJ, don’t get put in prison when they commit crimes against humanity – but Martha Stewart gets put in prison for stock fraud. Just goes to prove that the laws of this land do not protect women and children... Money, my dear Melissa, is much, much more important and held to a higher degree than life.

Melissa: Oh for crying out loud! I cannot believe there are MJ supporters crying out of joy that this mofo’s been cleared on all charges. I cannot wrap my brain around the fact that there are supporters and true believers in this freak of a man. And those who think that he doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong are warped, sad human beings who would hand over their children to him so they can "play" with MJ. Give me a break! I’m just so baffled. There is not a doubt in my mind that MJ is completely sane and knows exactly what he’s doing.

Joan: Such is the state of our population… And I blame the press, too. They can’t multi-task. This will be on TV for another week to come—at least. Legal analysts from around the globe are gathering to discuss the intricacies of this case…and meanwhile, the world’s going to pot. The headlines on CNN don’t fairly represent the true breaking news happening that this moment... And frankly, I’m sick to death of it.

And, on that note...

I heard Katie Holmes is embracing Scientology...

Melissa: ...And that Paris has decided to give herself two more years in the limelight before bowing out. Can't happen soon enough, IMO.

T is for Tom Thumb

Hi, I'm Tom. I love women and Scientology rules.

Monday, June 13, 2005

We know TC luvs the younguns...

...but this is just ridiculous.


Of course, the FUG girls do it best.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Something's going on...

June 2004:


June 2005:

Thursday, June 09, 2005

You.Will.Never.Forget.

TomKat made another appearance at the Batman Begins premiere in LA the other day. Of all the photos of the premiere HERE, more than half are of TomKat and there are barely any of Christian Bale, who, um, actually.............plays BATMAN.



Wednesday, June 08, 2005

G'day, Mate... No, really... Relax, Mate.

If you've been following the news of late, then you're aware that Tom Cruise has lost his mind... Here's yet another Cruise-flying-off-the-handle incident, courtesy of IMDB...

"Tom Cruise displayed a darker persona during a recent interview with an Australian TV reporter when a journalist quizzed him about his relationship with ex-wife Nicole Kidman. The Top Gun hunk, who famously grins and giggles through tough questions, wasn't smiling when Peter Overton's probing questions "crossed a line". After berating Overton for poking fun at his chosen religion, Scientology, Cruise got serious when the reporter asked one too many questions about his family. When Overton posed, "Do you have a relationship where you talk... a parenting relationship and talk professionally about each other's work?" Cruise glared at his interviewer and stopped him dead in his tracks. The movie star said, "Listen, here's the thing, Peter, you're stepping over a line now... and you know you are." When Overton insisted he was only asking questions the public wanted to know, Cruise shot back, "Take responsibility for what you want to know... This is a conversation that I'm having with you right now. So I'm just telling you right now, OK, just put your manners back in." Overton was quick to apologize to his guest. "

Happy birthday, Joan!

72 years young!



72? IN DOG YEARS.... Jeezy Creezy, Melissa...could you find an older picture of me? I look like I'm being strangled by the 80s. What's the difference anyway...better this picture than one of me now... I am single-handedly keeping Botox in business. Can we talk? --Joan

Set those VCRs, DVRs, TiVos, whatever...

Tom Cruise on Leno tonight. Hopefully, for our entertainment, he will act insane. And perhaps pluck Katie from the backstage area?

Monday, June 06, 2005

Friday, June 03, 2005

Oh SNAP!

The words between Brooke Shields and Tom Cruise are heating up. Here's the latest from Brooke's mouth:
Actress Brooke Shields and Tom Cruise's ongoing feud has intensified - after the Suddenly Susan star mocked the16 year age-gap between the actor and his new girlfriend Katie Holmes. Cruise - who has helped people fight drug addictions through his controversial Scientology religion - recently attacked Shields for becoming dependant on anti-depressant Paxil, following the birth of her daughter Rowan. And Shields has continued her war of words against Cruise following his "dangerous" comments, by offering him a child ticket so he can take Holmes to see her in hit London musical Chicago. She says, "If he wants to see Chicago, I've left him two tickets - one adult, one child." The actress recently took a swipe at Cruise's religious beliefs, by saying she wouldn't take advice from someone who devotes his life to aliens. [IMDB]

Thursday, June 02, 2005

She's pleading for your help...



If you're interested, you can order here.

You have to love good old fashioned American ingenuity...--Joan

Tom Cruise is crazy



First this:
May 29th--KATIE Holmes is not sporting a ring yet, but she is engaged to Tom Cruise. Just a month after the two started publicly canoodling to express their "love," Holmes packed her bags and moved in with the star and, pals say, she's accepted a marriage proposal. We also hear that Holmes, a Christian, is converting to Scientology. One pal said, "She had her initial meeting with Tom
at the Scientology Center in L.A., and she goes with him now a lot. She is converting.
" Holmes has also switched agents at the Creative Artists Agency - from her longtime rep to Cruise's rep. Cruise's sister/rep, Lee Anne DeVette, was traveling and didn't return calls. [Page Six]
Now this:
June 2nd--TOM Cruise continues to impose his Scientologist views on Katie Holmes. She was set to star in "Factory Girl," about doomed Andy Warhol protégé Edie Sedgwick. But Cruise told Holmes to nix it, insiders said. "Edie was in and out of mental institutions and on all sorts of psychotropic drugs," said our spy. "Tom doesn't believe in those drugs because of Scientology." Another insider said, "Tom didn't want her to take the role because it portrayed her as a victim and he said she should only take strong roles." Holmes' rep said: "Katie is not attached to that project." [Page Six]

George Carlin put it best: "A CRAZY PERSON DOESN'T REALLY LOSE HIS MIND. IT JUST BECOMES SOMETHING MORE ENTERTAINING." Ain't that the truth.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Calling all John Hughes Fans...

All of you Breakfast Club fans...listen up. In case you haven't heard, here's the scoop...courtesy of IMDB.com:

"The stars of cult 1980s movie The Breakfast Club are set to reunite at the upcoming 2005 MTV Movie Awards this weekend. Molly Ringwald, Ally Sheedy, Judd Nelson and Anthony Michael Hall have agreed to reunite for the awards show at the Shrine Auditorium. Emilio Estevez wasn't confirmed for the Movie Awards get together as we went to press. Meanwhile, pop punks Yellowcard will perform Simple Minds' hit single "Don't You Forget About Me," which was the theme from the 1985 John Hughes movie. Mariah Carey and Eminem are also scheduled to perform at the show. Rockers Nine Inch Nails pulled out of a performance last week over a disagreement about a President George W. Bush backdrop they intended to use for their set."


What's Emilio's deal? I think we can all agree, Hall's career is more happening than his at the moment. -- Joan.

Note: Kudos to NIN.
411Mania.com lends the scoop:

"As Reznor stated on the band's website: "Nine Inch Nails will not be performing at the MTV Movie Awards as previously announced. We were set to perform 'The Hand That Feeds' with an unmolested, straightforward image of George W. Bush as the backdrop. Apparently the image of our president is as offensive to MTV as it is to me.'"


There goes MTV's rep as being cutting edge and a voice for the youth. Nice going. Really.
--Joan.


Why am I not shocked?

Angelina Jolie is a sex maniac? Nooooo. You have to be kidding me. Sure, she's cleaned up her act. But everyone must remember the cutting-herself-during-sex/wearing-billy-bob's-blood-in-a-vile-around-her-neck days, right? Come on... it's not that long ago. I have shoes older than her divorce papers. So, really, this news from IMDB.com should come as no surprise:

"Angelina Jolie dumbfounded Mr. And Mrs. Smith director Doug Liman with her eagerness to make sex scenes in the movie as eye-watering as possible. Liman instructed the sexy 29-year-old to perform the kinkiest sex acts he could think of, just to shock her - but none of his suggestions were new to the saucy star. He says, "I suggested she should perform the most graphic, crazy sex act I could imagine for the love scene just to try to shock her. Like 10 steps beyond anything I'd consider doing in my own life. She starts furrowing her brows. I'm like, 'Oh, never heard of that one?' She's like, 'No, actually I'm just trying to figure out whether I've done that one.'"


Now, I ask you...does anyone believe Pitt and Jolie didn't...you know...do I have to spell everything out for you? --Joan.

Oh god, you know they effed.--Melissa

What were the odds...

...of her finding, dating and marrying a man who shares her name? Is this shit for real? And what crazy bastard would marry her...? More from Hollywood.com:

"Heiress Paris Hilton has got engaged to her Greek shipping heir boyfriend of eight months, Paris Latsis.

Latsis, 27, proposed to Hilton, 24, on May 25 after she returned from a three-week trip to Europe to promote her new movie House of Wax--and they marked the engagement on May 29 with a barbecue for 75 friends at their Hollywood home."

Paris is quoted as saying: "I'm happy to have found someone to spend the rest of my life with." Hmm. If you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you. --Joan

Katie Starts Damage Control

...when she must clearly realize, she got robbed... Who wants the crazy "old" Tom Cruise...when you could have had the pre-flip-out Tom? This from Hollywood.com:

"Actress Katie Holmes has angrily hit out at accusations her burgeoning romance with Tom Cruise is a publicity stunt....Holmes is hurt by the criticism, insisting she is genuinely in love with the hunky actor. She says, "I couldn't be happier. I'm so happy. He's the most amazing man in the whole world.""


Well, she has to say that...what else is she going to say? Ride that gravy train, girl! Ride it hard! --Joan.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

14:59 Minutes and Counting...



From Walter Scott's Personality Parade(R) in the 5/29 issue of Parade Magazine:

"Q: I was disappointed when my favorite American Idol, Mikalah Gordon, didn't make the Top 10. Does the 17-year-old have any plans for a music career?--Ren Smith, Brooklyn NY.

A: She has plenty of plans, but with her weak voice, we don't expect her to go very far as a singer."
OOOOOOOh, harsh...and so very true. ;) --Joan.

HA! Joan HATES Mikalah! --Melissa

Someone Got Their Christmas Goose Early



From this week's installment of What-da-Fuck? comes, Christian Slater's involvement in a groping incident. Now, Slater has a new film coming out soon...but, surely, this is stooping to an all-new level for beefing up publicity pre-premiere. This from Reuters:

"Slater, 35, was accused of groping the woman, a stranger, at a small store after he was seen arguing with his girlfriend, prosecutors said. The victim called police and identified the actor, who was arrested shortly after 2 a.m. in Manhattan's Upper East Side, they said.

"The victim, a stranger, was at a bodega buying a soda when he grabbed and squeezed her buttocks. His girlfriend yelled 'Stop. What are you doing?' The defendant walked away," said assistant district attorney Vanessa Puzio at Slater's bail hearing.

Local media reported that Slater, who is appearing on Broadway in "The Glass Menagerie," appeared intoxicated."

Read the rest and decide for yourself here:
http://today.reuters.com/news/newsArticle.aspx?type=peopleNews&storyID=2005-05-31T234651Z_01_PUZIO-SAID-SLAT_RTRIDST_0_PEOPLE-CRIME-SLATER-DC.XML

It's official...He's lost his mind!

And no, we're not talking about Dave Chappelle. Between his recent Oprah appearance, to his lip-locking Katie every chance he gets, Tom Cruise is clearly off the handle lately. Now comes this, from the NY Daily News:

"...in an exclusive interview to be aired Thursday on "Access Hollywood," Cruise tells host Billy Bush that Shields was misguided when she took the anti-depressant Paxil to fight her depression after giving birth to daughter Rowan - which Shields recounts in her memoir, "Down Came the Rain"

Cruise, who zealously preaches the Church of Scientology's hatred of all mind-altering drugs, tells Bush: "Here is a woman, and I care about Brooke Shields because I think she is an incredibly talented woman. You look at, where has her career gone?'"

and more....

""These drugs are dangerous. I have actually helped people come off," Cruise maintains to Bush. "When you talk about postpartum, you can take people today, women, and what you do is you use vitamins. There is a hormonal thing that is going on, scientifically, you can prove that. But when you talk about emotional, chemical imbalances in people, there is no science behind that. You can use vitamins to help a woman through those things.""
Hmm, judging from Cruise's recent behavior, he might benefit from some medication. But, to Sheilds' credit, her statement comes off the AP:

"Brooke said that she is disgusted by Tom's comments, which she labeled "dangerous." She also poked fun at Cruise, saying that she "wouldn't take advice from someone who devotes his life to creatures from outer space.""
Fabulous, Brooke! You go, girl! --Joan

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/312036p-266946c.html


I love how Brooke so blatantly put it out there that the Scientologists believe in and are ruled by a space monkey! --Melissa

Friday, May 27, 2005

So good, it needs to be served on a silver platter



Go here and click on "Constantine Takes a Fall" for the full-length, larger size with audio version.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

It's been grand, folks

Joan: Well, "it's over, Johnny." And what a finale it was. I have to say, I didn't realize how much I wanted Carrie to win until that final moment. She just looked like she wanted/needed it so bad... And Bo, Bo's so laid back... Not to mention Clive Davis wants to sign him ASAP...so, he'll probably wind up having a better career and be able to explore his true potential without the American Idol people getting all up in his business. So...overall...I'm happy with the results. Melis?

Melissa: You are totally right. I was disappointed that Bo didn't win. He is just so gracious and seems so nice. But yes, I hadn't thought of it the way you stated above, without the American Idol contract, he will be a lot freer in taking his music in the direction he wants it to go. And yes, Clive Davis did want to sign him up and even Randy said it a few times that he would love to produce Bo's album and work with him on stuff. Carrie will put out the LeAnn Rimes-type CD but I don't think she'll have the fame that Kelly Clarkson and Clay have. I think she'll disappear into the woodwork like Ruben and Fantasia. Oh well. What do you think, Joan?

Joan: Bo will be just fine. In fact, I have a feeling he will maintain longevity. Especially if he's able to keep that down-home-grown feel. Carrie, I think she may do very well…if they market her like Faith Hill, she may be able to crossover into the mainstream. I think she will do much, much better than Fantasia. Plus, she's adorable...I see her getting snapped up for make-up endorsements and oodles of other spots. I tend to agree with Simon when he says, she's the most marketable one yet. I will say this much for the finale though... WHO'S THE IDIOT WHO GAVE MICKALAH A MIC!!??

Melissa: If Carrie can achieve the Shania Twain, LeAnn Rimes, Faith Hill crossover, then she may be fine as far as radio-play goes. But unfortunately she'll never become a Martina McBride or Loretta Lynn, Bonnie Raitt-type performer. But yes, she is cute so I can also see her doing endorsements for Noxzema or something and appearing in Seventeen Magazine. Bo may achieve longevity, especially if he collaborates with rock 'n' roll greats. It'll be interesting to see where each of their careers go! I'm very curious to hear Bo's original stuff.

Joan: See, now, I don't know if I wanna hear his original stuff. I'm so used to the covers. But I have a feeling it's better than Constantine's crappy-ass "Pray For the Soul of Betty" material. He, btw, was God-awful on the rendition of "Walk This Way." I heard that Steven Tyler and Joe Perry started freebasing again after hearing that cover. Whoof. Let's just say: The right rocker was picked to reach the finals. [Note: All comments made by Joan are meant to be offensive on every level, but in no way are shared by management and the people associated with blah-di-blah-di-blah.]

Melissa: Nice cover, Joan. Yeah, Constantine does and continues to embarrass himself any chance he gets. And I do not, in any way, shape, or form, want to hear his "Pray for the Soul of Betty" bullshit. The right rocker did advance to the end. Can I get an Amen??!!?! I do want to hear Bo's original stuff. Thing is, if he only did covers, what kind of artist would he be? People would lose interest after a while and I don't think Bo's own personal conscience would be happy just doing covers. He is in a band and I think they do original stuff in addition to covers. And LOFL at Mickalah doing the red carpet interviews. Holy smokes, someone put a muzzle on that girl!

Joan: Good point. I'm sure he's chomping at the bit to do his own stuff. Well, one good thing did come of this... Mickalah didn't win. Phew! Well... so ends another year of American Idol. Will we be able to wait until January? Only time will tell...

Joan & Melissa--OUT!

And this is from USAToday.com. It echoes my thoughts to a tee. --Melissa
As for Idol, like someone mentioned in my chat yesterday, maybe it's for the best that Bo Bice isn't tied down to watery songs and a potentially suffocating record deal. Whoever these Carrie Underwood fans are, I hope they enjoy her. Personally, I can't say her name without letting out a little yawn.

He may be insane and full of himself...

...but he's hot.



SO DELICIOUS, ya gotta love life for shit like this



[Gallery of the Absurd: Gossip Fueled Art]

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Is that what this is all about...?

Can this be the reason Tom and Katie are inseperable? It's not unheard of for Hollywood agents and studios to cook-up a little romance to sell a film... This from IMDB:

"Holmes Set for 'Mission: Impossible 3'?
Dating Tom Cruise is starting to pay off for Katie Holmes, if internet reports are to be believed - she's set to steal a Mission: Impossible 3 role from Lindsay Lohan. According to website Ananova.Com, Holmes has become the hot favorite to replace Scarlett Johansson as Cruise's love interest in the action movie sequel. Holmes and Lohan aren't the only girls in contention for the two parts left vacant by Johansson and Carrie Anne Moss' departure from the project - Keri Russell and Elisha Cuthbert are also reportedly in the running."

I'm Not Crazy, Bitch!

Poor, Chappelle. Looks like after his stint in the South African facility, he'll be taking some much needed rest. This from Hollywood.com:

"But the funnyman insisted he was just "stressed out" and needed a break.

Now, Chappelle has returned to his hometown of Yellow Springs, but his agent Matt Labov insists there's still no signs that he'll return to making his show and he has been told not to book any live performances."


Read the rest here:
http://www.hollywood.com/news/detail/article/2440868


The Power Of Xenu Had Him in Its Grasp...

...that's the only explanation for Tom Cruise's bizarre behavior on this week's Oprah spot. If you didn't think the relationship between him and Katie Holmes was strange before, you will certainly think so now. Nuray, ahem...Melissa...dished it out on her Sister-Blog, Celebirity... go here to read the post:
http://celebirity.blogspot.com/2005/05/crap-should-have-dvred-this.html#comments

and this from ContactMusic...

"Smitten TOM CRUISE forced his new love KATIE HOLMES to run away from him when he tried to convince her to meet OPRAH WINFREY on a recent taping of the daytime show.

After declaring his love for his new lady and fielding questions about a possible marriage, Cruise headed backstage to persuade the shy actress to come and sit with him on the show, stating, "She's freaking out. I'll go and get her".

But Holmes wasn't worried about facing the audience and TV cameras with her new beau - she's a massive fan of Oprah's and couldn't face meeting her heroine on live TV.

As cameras followed Cruise backstage, his new girlfriend ran away from him.

The Cruise interview airs on the Oprah show on Monday (23MAY05)."

The showdown has arrived...



Joan: Well, Meliss... it's finally coming to a close. It seems like just yesterday we were ranting and raving over Scott's mysterious appeal, Nadia's terrible Mohawk and Anthony's Clay-like resemblance. But, all good things must come to an end. Just one final performance night to critique: What were your thoughts on last night?

Melissa: I thought Carrie rocked it really well on the second song, I think it was a Martina McBride song? And the on the last one, she really displayed her vocal skills. But I've said it before, country just does not appeal to me and although I can recognize her talent, I have no interest in the genre she will be cultivated in when she puts an album out. Bo did really well too. The first song was a snooze-fest but he really redeemed himself on the second and third songs. It seems to be a pretty equal split among them so it'll be interesting to see who wins it tonight. I'm hoping for Bo, but both will undoubtedly get record deals for sure. What did you think, Joan?

Joan: It was very clear they were nervous... It showed in each performance. I've always thought the venue change for that last night is too much for them to handle. More people, different room, different acoustics – plus the stress of it being the last competition. Overall, they redeemed themselves in the end and did equally well. I was surprised that Simon said Carrie had a chance of winning. I just see this going to Bo, regardless of my own wishes. But, what I like about these two is that they are not competing style-wise and can therefore have equally successful careers. She'll do her thing; he'll do his. And there will be no back biting involved. Overall, I'm happy with any result.

Melissa: Yeah, really good observation. They are doing totally different styles so they will make different albums to appeal to various people, no competition in record sales. I alway thought Carrie had a chance of winning, she's very talented and both Bo and her are equally appealing. Both have decent star quality and likeability, unlike that idiot Scott! So it’s a two-hour finale tonight. Talk about stretching it out... Isn’t the AI finale competing with the Lost finale?

Joan: 2 HOURS!!! Jeezy Creezy. I had no idea. I'm going to have to tape Lost. Crap-o-la. They could have done an hour, that would have been plenty. What are they going to do for two hours????

Melissa: SQUEEEEEZE the AI sponge for all it's worth. Not necessary but not surprising either. I've never seen Lost before but I know the premise and was listening to some tidbits on the radio this morning, so I will tape it. I can get backstories from you later cause I know you watch. Seems like an awesome show from what I've seen and heard. Well, Joan, looks like after tonight we'll have to find other stuff to dish on. Till tomorrow, when we reconvene to discuss the results!

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

This is it...



Tonight is the finale, folks. Personally, my vote is for Bo.
--Melissa

Generally, I'd be pleased either way... but I think I want Carrie to win. Sorry Bo. :( Who am I kidding... he's winning anyhow. --Joan


Thursday, May 12, 2005

Good-bye Ukrainian sensation

Joan: Melissa, Melissa, Melissa…it finally went down like it should have all the while. Ding Dong the Nerd is Gone!!! Thoughts, comments...ventings?

Melissa: It was sorta, kinda touching while Anthony was performing and Carrie was crying and then she mouthed that she loves him to him. Interesting....wonder what the deal with that is. Otherwise, yes, it did work out the way it should. Although now there's no question that Vonzell will go next week leaving Bo and Carrie for the final two. Performance-wise, Bo kicked ass on both songs Tuesday night, although the first one was a little boring and slow as Simon said. I wonder what happened to Vonzell when she said she had a rough day and then started crying. I did like Anthony’s rendition of "If You Don't Know Me By Now" way better than Carrie's. And I have to admit, I did enjoy "Sin Wagon."

Joan: I have a feeling there's something more to the Vonzell thing that just nerves. I bet she got some bad news just before show time... something. Usually, she's so commanding of the stage and comfortable up there. But she was so nervous during that first number, it was palpable. And Simon was right, her last number was manic. But good. I'd like her to win... but you're right. She is going next week. In that case, I'd like Carrie to win... but wouldn't mind Bo either. Overall, I'm happy withthe top three. I was totally pissed at Anthony and whoever is back there giving the song-choice OK – for letting him sing the same song as Carrie. I hate that crap. With all the songs to choose, they could have come to a compromise. Sheesh. Really poor organization on the producers' parts.

Melissa: I don't like it either when performers do the same song. That should be a rule, once you do a song or another performer picks it, then you can't do it on the same night or even the same season. It's kinda like cheating in my book. Yeah, I'll bet Vonzell got some bad news or something. The catty gossiper in me was so hoping they would say what it was but unfortunately they didn't. It was so obvious that they wanted the audience to know that something was up with Vonzell when Paula asked her how she was feeling that day and then Vonzell broke down with the crying. Seems a little too planned out like, here's why she may have sucked, folks. But either way, she's still a talented performer so it's not like she needs excuses or is getting a free ride by any means.

Joan: Course, that sympathy card could have worked for Vonzell... since Anthony wasn't actually terrible the night before. And you're right... Paula asking did seem contrived. I really wanna smack Paula sometimes. She cannot speak... spit it out already! I think, maybe, next year they need some new judges. They can leave Simon... but get rid of Randy and Paula. It's getting tired. I heard they might let former winners be judges...which I don't care for. They need to be industry people... with years of experience. I caught Corey Clark on the Howard Stern show... and if anyone thinks he was telling the truth, all they need to do is watch the re-cap on E! – he's a complete con artist.

Melissa: Oh I'm sure the weeping did work, especially coupled with her shout-out to her Daddy every two seconds! Anthony didn't have any tuggers at the heart-strings going for him. I also find Paula very annoying, especially since she's so spaced out all the time and tries to cover up any criticisms she may have and sugar coat them. And Randy with the "Yo, dawg." It's old and O-VA! Corey Clark was supposed to be on a radio station here this morning but I got to work before he was scheduled to call in. But the DJs were playing his new song called, get this, what a freakin' freeloading, cashing-in bastard, "Paulatics." Like politics, 'cept not. Here are some lyrics from it: "Your possibilities have gone to the top/And if you breathe a word you will be dropped/Your personality at first seemed to be so sweet/But then I saw the you that they'll never show on TV." He is a total con-artist and it's so obvious. There's no reason why he should have ever come out with this allegations, even if they are true. It's not like he got kicked off for reasons having to do with his supposed relationship with Paula, he got kicked off cause he's a thug and held back info from the producers. It's plain to see he needs the publicity.

Joan: Well, I think he's on his 14th minute. Hopefully, we won't have to hear from him too much longer. Everyone's on the take – it makes me sick. Well, Meliss... that's another week's wrap-up... only 2 more left? Can it be??? Say it ain't so!

Melissa: Yup, only 2 weeks to go. I'll be on the edge of my seat till the end, fo' sho'! And I'll actually be in town for next week's show so we'll able to dish face to face! :)

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

These just in...



JEEZY CREEZY, DOES HE EVER TAKE OFF THAT GODDAMN HAT??? AT LEAST BUY A WHITE ONE FOR THE OCCASION! And she's worn prettier dresses for the Oscars! --Joan.

I wonder... (Part 2)

...if at first she thought, what the fuck?



Oh, no. No. She looks like Sinead... which isn't bad, necessarily. But... Well... at least her head's not misshapen. --Joan

I wonder...

...if these two woke up this morning and thought, What the fuck?



ET has confirmed that Oscar®-winning actress Renee Zellwger and country star Kenny Chesney have tied the knot! The surprising couple were married on Monday on the beautiful island of St. John in the U.S. Virgin Islands, where the singer has a home. In a short, 15-minute ceremony performed by a female preacher in front of a small group of family and friends, the bride wore Carolina Herrera, one of her favorite designers, while the groom was reportedly barefoot. Both laughed and cried during the ceremony.

The happy couple met at the Concert of Hope tsunami relief effort on January 15 and maintained a quiet friendship that quickly blossomed. Fans first learned of their romance when Renee reportedly brought a margarita up on stage to Kenny during his show in Jacksonville, FL. They were said to have shared an onstage kiss, and were later spotted three days later having Chinese food at a restaurant near his hometown of Franklin, TN. Renee is a bit of a country girl herself, hailing from Katy, TX. In an interview, Kenny once said he thought Renee was sexy.

The marriage is a first for both stars, although the 37-year-old Kenny reportedly broke off an engagement to another woman in 1999, three weeks before the wedding. Prior to marrying Kenny, Renee dated White Stripes singer Jack White and her 'Me, Myself & Irene' co-star Jim Carrey. A spokesperson for Renee had no comment about the proceedings.

There won't be much of a honeymoon for the celeb couple -- Chesney's next concert is Thursday night in Little Rock, AR. [Yahoo]

I give it 4 months, tops! -- Joan.

I say 8 months. -- Melissa

Friday, May 06, 2005

Sing us a song...



Very funny and talented Michael Ian Black has written a piece for McSweeney's about what goes through Billy Joel's head while he's on the way to a party... Will the guests ask him to sing Piano Man? And how will he get out of it...? Here's a taste:

"I'm not doing it. I'm just not. I know I say the same thing every year, but this time I mean it--I am not playing it this year. Seriously, how many times can I possibly be expected to play that stupid song? I bet if you counted the number of times I've played it over the years, it probably adds up to, like, a jillion. I'm not even exaggerating. One jillion times. Well, not this year."


Read the rest here: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/4/27black.html

You won't be disappointed. LOL. ;) --Joan and Melissa.

It was at this moment...

Katie knew she had contracted something... Perhaps the spirit of Xenu entered her chaste body. Is she strong enough to fight off the powers of Scientology, especially when it is being channeled through the uber-force that is the toothy Tom Cruise?

Pensive and distracted, Katie continues to play the role she was chosen for: Tom's lady friend, arm candy, no longer Joey from Dawson's Creek but not yet a woman either. Where is this world heading?

"Don't worry, those stars I gave you have healing powers, Katie."

Heal this.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Don't let the door hit you on the ass

Melissa: OK, Joan, looks like our prayers were answered FINALLY. Scott is out, and his ass on its way to Ohio, along with his smug face and thin-ass beard. They can have his ass and let's hope he stays there. How smug was he on Tuesday night's show? But first, did you catch the Primetime Special: Fallen Idol? Ho-hum. BO-RING! That whole hour show was based on about 5 minutes of news that they could have just mentioned on the news that night. That Corey Clark is a thug and a half and him and Scott should be banished to some Thug Island where they can "know what I'm sayin'" each other to the death. Your thoughts, Joan?

Joan: Yes, it was a big week in AI history. The boil on the ass of AI was finally lanced and sent to Ohio a' packin'. Thank God! I loved how Ryan sent the bottom 2 to the couch...and Scott thought he was safe and acted all smug and arrogant. Fab! Really, couldn't have been handled better. As for the Primetime special...1/2 way thru, I fell asleep. That's how boring it was. Like you said, it was essentially 5 minutes of info, stretched over an hour. Anyone who believes this idiot isn't on the take is a fool. He shuts up for 2 years about it then, when his CD is ready to come out, he starts speaking??? Yeah, not at all opportunistic. What complete and total crap. Besides, Paula's been too drugged to pull any of that shit off. LOL.

Melissa: Oh man, it was so delicious when Scott said "Wow, wow, wow" on his way to the couch! I knew the second Ryan said that Vonzell was to stay put on the stage and then sent Anthony and Scott to the couch and Bo and Carrie remained on the stage. Loved it! Now, if we can just banish Anthony next week then the real contest starts. Vonzell will probably go after than leaving Bo and Carrie as the last two. Back to Corey Clark, he's an asshole. I just want to slap him upside the head. What a freakin' smug bastard. I know, it's all a ploy to get publicity now that his CD is coming out and he knows no one is gonna buy that shit, know what I'm sayin'? And he's got the nerve to say, when the reporter asked him if he feels bad coming out with all this stuff now and why he wants to come out with it, that he needs to relieve himself of the baggage and clear his conscious and that he never asked for this and that Paula kept sending him her number until he finally broke down and called her, thus starting the events that supposedly happened between them. That's a mad run-on sentence, yo, know what I'm sayin'? Back to Scott, I relished in the facial expression of shock he had last night. AND on top of that, they cut his song in half at the end. Not like they haven't done that before, but with Scott, it was particularly satisfying.

Joan: I have a feeling this Corey Clark thing will disappear shortly. And I hope Paula and AI sue his ass. I really can't believe Primetime devoted a full hour to that crap. Amazing what we will settle for news these days. Well…I think you're right. As much as I like Vonzell, I don't think she'll make it to the top two. I'm still not sure Anthony will go next week. This has been a very weird season. So, the best I can do is keep my fingers crossed that Anthony gets the boot next week. As far as who will win...it's anyone's guess. Melissa?

Melissa: You're right, it'll be pretty iffy when it comes down to who goes between Von and Anthony. All's I know is that Bo and Carrie will be the final two. Thinking back on it, isn't it some crazy shit that Scott lasted this long? I mean, he really isn't amazing. Same thing with Anthony, nothing spectacular or unbelievable about him either. About the Primetime thing, it's May sweeps and they've been hawking the show for the last week like it's goin' out of style. A lot of people watched it, or at least parts of it, so their mission was accomplished. Corey will disappear and I highly doubt Paula will get fired, like they were originally saying. Well, looking forward to the next three weeks, Joan.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

J & M Picks for AI

Tune in tomorrow for a full wrap-up. Till then, sate yourselves with our picks for the results show:
Joan: My picks for the bottom three tonight:
Carrie, Vonzell and Scott.
Scott will be safe. So will Carrie. And Vonzell will be voted off.
Because that's THE SICK BIZARRO WORLD WE LIVE IN!!!

Melissa: Man, if Anthony doesn't go, then I don't even know what to say. We all know Scott's freakin' safe. Vonzell is good, plus she's got tons of potential. Put her in a studio, tweak the voice and music, and it'll be good. Plus she's cute. Carrie is talented naturally. Bo is great, real talent. Scott and Anthony, ARGH!!! I hate those mofos.
:)

This is the kind of trouble too much sucking face can get y'all in...

I found these pics on a celebrity photo forum. According to whomever posted it: "After returning from her romantic rendezvous with Tom Cruise in Italy, Katie goes shopping in Hollywood with some pretty gross marks around her mouth."

Beats me. All's I know is that this is some nasty shizz. --Melissa

Oh, man...I'd put some Abbrevix on that sh!t. Nast-ay.--Joan


Courtesy of Defamer

Monday, May 02, 2005

Does anyone else smell a publicity stunt?

I've never seen this much public making out and cuddling as I have in the last few days since this union broke into the news. Usually celebrities are caught making out and cuddling through paparazzi photos but these two are making out on the red carpet and wherever they are making appearances together, see here and here. --Melissa





And this we do not need to see:


Well, you know Melissa, rumors have always dogged Tom... Most of his relationships have been deemed publicity stunts. Frankly, I'm not sure I believe the rumors. They just don't make sense. But, just how did these two meet? Was it on set? And if so, I think we have our answer. --Joan.

Too freakin' kool fo' skool