We haven't seen the child's face, but we'll see its shit really soon

This is so bogus that it can only have to do with Crazy Cruise and the Alien Baby. Some artist decided to bronze the first dump of the child and put it in a fuckin' museum. How do you like them apples?

Bronzed baby shoes are out, and bronzed baby poop is in, for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes as they celebrate baby’s "first poop." The commemoration of baby Suri Cruise’s first poop strives to be the evidence of her existence for a public yet to see photos of the superstar couple’s four month old infant. Suri Cruise’s commissioned bronzed baby poop goes on display August 30th at Capla Kesting Fine Art in Brooklyn’s Williamsburg gallery district and will be offered on eBay with the proceeds to benefit the March Of Dimes.

Suri’s bronzed poop is purportedly cast from the excretion of her first solid meal. “Babies mostly breastfeed for the first four months, so a baby’s first meal of solid food may be a baby’s first meal at the dinner table,” said David Kesting, director of Capla Kesting Fine Art. “A bronzed cast of baby’s first poop can be a meaningful memento for the family.” Suri’s bronzed baby poop will be exhibited under a display case until the ebay auction ends, explains Kesting, but he admits they’ve commissioned artist Daniel Edwards to produce a limited edition plaster replica.

Casting of the baby poop with a bronze finish and mounted on a base that includes a brass plate engraved with baby Suri’s name, comes at a time when Tom Cruise is increasingly known for his eccentricity. Capla Kesting assures the trend for bronzing baby poop isn’t so eccentric and simply follows the popularity of the critically acclaimed children’s book, “Everybody Poops”.

The gallery says it supports Tom Cruise’s and Katie Holmes’s decision to withhold images of baby Suri from the public, though gossip magazines speculate the reason may be that Suri may be deformed. The gallery asserts its bronzed baby poop reinforces claims, made after celebrity sightings of Suri, that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have a healthy baby.

Reception for Suri ’s bronzed baby poop and presentation of the proceeds raised by Capla Kesting Fine Art for March Of Dimes will be held September 8th from 6:00 to 9:00 PM at 121 Roebling St., Brooklyn NY 11211. The gallery can be reached at www.caplakesting.com or by phone at 917-650-3760. [Capla Kesting Gallery]