You know this shit ain't true...

....but, God, how I wish it were.
I hope you're sitting:

Osama Bin Laden
had the hots
for Whitney
Houston (pre-
Crack-is-
Whack).

I know. I know.
But just read this first
before you rush to
any conclusions:

In [Kola Boof] autobiography, Diary of a Lost Girl, she writes: "He told me Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen."... "He said that he had a paramount desire for Whitney Houston, and although he claimed music was evil he spoke of someday spending vast amounts of money to go to America and try to arrange a meeting with the superstar..."He explained to me that to possess Whitney he would be willing to break his colour rule and make her one of his wives...."How beautiful she was, what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed..." [daily mail/uk]

Even after all that... this happens to be my favorite "tee-hee" part:

"She also says his favourite television shows were The Wonder Years, Miami Vice and MacGyver."