Someone needs a mirror

Um, when did Donald Trump become an expert on beauty? Has he seen himself? Check out what he's got to say about Angelina Jolie -- arguably one of the most beautiful women in the world (up there with Grace Kelly, Liz Taylor and Audrey Hepburn). It's just a fact... you can't really argue the point. Yet this abrasive, creepy fuck is arrogant enough to beg to differ:

"Angelina Jolie is sort of amazing because everyone thinks she's like this great beauty. And I'm not saying she's an unattractive woman, but she's not beauty, by any stretch of the imagination. I really understand beauty. And I will tell you, she's not -- I do own Miss Universe. I do own Miss USA. I mean I own a lot of different things. I do understand beauty, and she's not." [from the larry king show]

Uh, Donald... just cause you got enough cash to own something don't mean you know pretty. In fact, why not use some of that cash for some surgery and a visit to the Hair Club for Men.

Better bulk up on your TiVo

Oh, this ain't good. Not good at all. The last time this happened, Moonlighting was ruined. Let's hope some of today's best shows don't suffer such a fate.

Writers Guild votes overwhelmingly to authorize a strike

In what union officials say is a record turnout, 90% of members approve a walkout if a contract can't be settled by Oct. 31.

Hollywood's film and TV writers are ready to trade their pens for picket signs if they can't reach a deal with their employers by Halloween.

Members of the Writers Guild of America voted by an overwhelming margin to authorize their leaders to call a strike if they can't negotiate a three-year contract with the major studios to replace one that expires Oct. 31. Of 5,507 members who voted, 90% favored granting a strike authorization. Guild officials said the turnout was a record for the union, which has nearly 12,000 members. [la times]

Hey, I'm a writer...and a guild supporter and all for a union (CALL ME NORMA RAE). So, I totally don't blame them for needing to strike. Who I do blame are the friggin' greedy-ass producers who can't find a way to stop this from happening, because they're too worried about lining their own pockets. So, Hwood big wigs -- get your shit together -- cause you're nowhere without writers. Try it without them. You'll see.

How's he gonna get himself out of this?

Abra Cadabra ain't gonna do it this time for David Copperfield. The magician has found himself in some hot water after being accused of sexual assault, as well as evading the IRS by keeping a cool 2 mil in a private safe. If only he could make himself disappear.

A dozen agents from Seattle carted away a computer hard drive, a memory chip from a digital camera and close to $2 million in cash during a late-night raid Wednesday on the famed magician's Sin City storage space....The Las Vegas Review-Journal...reports that the seizure was "connected to an investigation of possible sexual misconduct by the illusionist" that originated in Seattle.

Copperfield's attorney issued a statement confirming that the search took place. "We understand there is an investigation, [we] are in touch with the investigators, and are respecting the confidentiality of the investigation," lawyer David Chesnoff said.

As for the possible sexual misconduct, Chesnoff issued an additional statement Friday:

"It is important these allegations be put into perspective. An unidentified woman has made serious allegations against David Copperfield. Although authorities have not revealed her identity to us, we know these allegations are false because David Copperfield has never forced himself on anyone." "Unfortunately false allegations are all too often made against famous individuals. But we are confident the investigation will conclude favorably," Chesnoff told the Review-Journal. [e!]

I ain't buyin' the sexual misconduct charge... only because this guy was able to bag Claudia Schiffer for like a gazillion years, and has been linked to many a high-profile super model -- a fucking magic act if ever I saw one, considering that mug of his.

Barack Obama Completely Ruins Reputation...

...by going on the Tyra Banks Show.
Just what the fuck is he thinking? Doesn't he have PR people?

Why George Clooney is probably the greatest guy on Earth...

By now, y'all heard about the accident Georgie boy had while tooling around on a rented motorcycle. (George, I love ya, but you're too old for this shit.) Well, he and his new gal pal had to visit the hospital after said accident. During and after his visit, it seems the staff (some of whom had absolutely nothing to do with his case) got curious and helped themselves to a glance at his medical records. (LOL. Aww, who could really blame them. Shit, I'd probably have done the same damn thing if I was a nurse. Actually, if I was a nurse on staff that day I probably would have found a way to give him a sponge bath, but I digress.) Anyway, the hospital administration didn't find the snooping too funny. They ended up issuing suspensions. To which George responded:

"This is the first I've heard of it. And while I very much believe in a patient's right to privacy, I would hope that this could be settled without suspending medical workers."

See, like I said, coolest guy around. ;)

I sincerely hope he's wearing a boutiniere!

If that's not a tux and they ain't gettin' hitched, I'ma gonna beat Darren Star down.

Take me to your leader...

Bitch is an alien from Planet Dumb. Nuff said.

Where's Stacy and Clinton when you need them?

This bitch needs a makeover. On the list of clothes she should be allowed to wear -- only catsuits (full-body leotards)... because this dope don't know how to button, zip, latch or wear undies.

AVERT YOUR EYES... AVERT YOUR EYES...

I warned ya...

Can I just...

WOW!
I need a cigarette...

With guns blazin'

Well, well, well, looks like it's been confirmed that our favorite puffy, orange, leathery rock star is back for more frolicing with hos and skanks! Bret is booked for the second season of the delish Rock of Love! Joan and Melissa will be blogging the play by plays for sure next season!

Last month’s announcement of open calls for Rock of Love 2 kicked off widespread speculation on which rocker would rule the house — names like Tommy Lee, Mark McGrath and Dave Navarro batted around the Internet buzz. Now, the VH1 Blog exclusively can reveal that Rock of Love 2 will star none other than Bret Michaels, who’s ready to give reality TV dating another shot after things fizzled with Rock of Love winner Jes.

Expect more girls (20, to be exact), more challenges, more turn-ons and more diabeetus in the second season of Rock of Love, which is coming…well, sooner than you might think! [VH1]

Clooney gheys it up

What's with the strut???


OK, Joan, you can HAVE Clooney but he's got the Kid n' Play hair. Plus he's lugging around the Liberator, coming from Sarah Larson's house over to yours...

The Hoff is off...

The wagon, that is. It appears that he had a relapse and is now hospitalized. Let's hope we don't get a replay of the hamburger-eating video from last time. Ooof.

David Hasselhoff has relapsed and is hospitalized, according to his rep Judy Katz. "David had a brief relapse and immediately recognized the importance of addressing it with the assistance of his doctors," Katz tells TMZ.com in a statement. "He is doing fine and will be back home in the morning."

In May, a videotape surfaced of the former Baywatch actor extremely intoxicated while attempting to eat a hamburger in a Las Vegas hotel room. Shortly thereafter, the actor issued a statement saying he is battling alcoholism.

"I am a recovering alcoholic. Despite [the fact] that I have been going through a painful divorce ... I have been successfully dealing with my issue," Hasselhoff said. "Unfortunately, one evening I did have a brief relapse, but part of recovery is relapse." [People]

Ach du lieber Gott!

Damn, how messed up could it have been to have to do an entire reshoot? We know Tom's a bad actor, but this is a bit much:

After months of negotiations and controversy, Tom Cruise finally won permission to shoot his movie at a key historical location in Germany. Now the Valkyrie team has to do it all over again. "A majority of the film material is unusable," a spokeswoman for the production company told the German newspaper Bild. "We have to film it again."..."The production company told us that there were problems with the negative development in Arri Munich, one of the top post-production companies in Germany," Colin Ullman, a spokesman for the company that delivered the film, told Bild. "The images were wiped away." And the images cannot be recovered, but will need to be re-shot. According to a report by the local daily, Tagesspiegel, the film was treated with the incorrect chemical and ruined. [people]

Give Him Something to Believe In

Cause man, did his ass get reamed tonite. Damn, I'm not even a fan -- but this was some good-ass TV. If you missed it, I'm sure that VH1 will run the Rock of Love Reunion special ad nauseum. Don't worry. When you do catch it, don't miss the last 15 minutes.

Watch Heather and Bret reunite after 6 months hiatus of tonsil-touching-spit-swapping escapades and note the obvious chemistry these two dirt bags still possess. Mind-numbingly ironic, especially since he went against what his penis wanted and did what his brain told him to -- which was to pick Jess. (Am I the only one who thinks she bears a slight resemblance to CC Deville? Could be a sister or cousin, perhaps... I digress).

Well, Jess comes out on stage and the body language is so friggin' telling -- she is not digging her Rock of Love one bit. They sit on the couch together, but they might as well be rooms apart. She practically leaned over the arm of the couch to get away from him. But it's what she said that shocked everyone who tuned in: She said he should have chosen Heather and she doesn't understand why he chose her... Then left the stage to hug Heather and say:

"I don't care what America thinks. I gotta tell the truth."

I guess the idea of being Bret's choice was so utterly repugnant to her that she had to strip herself of the title she earned. (Ick, what'd she have to do for it in that hot tub???) Dang. Bet VH1 wasn't expecting that outcome. I have one question only: When's Season 2 airing???

Read more in detail here!!!

Now THAT'S rich!

I bet Donald Trump knows how many he's got.

Mariah Carey is living the life. Her 12,000 square foot triplex in NYC’s Tribeca district is so big she doesn’t know how many bathrooms she has. “I don’t know! Do you really want me to try and think about it?” she says in the new issue of Glamour magazine. [us weekly]

LOL. Gotta love it. Mariah's got so many bathrooms, she uses one to store her Hello Kitty collection. Don't laugh, Melissa...you know you want one, too. ;)

Cat's out the bag

Seriously, she might as well have made an announcement officially -- because registering for your baby on what is perhaps THE most conspicuous street in LA for celebrity sightings is just about as good as shouting "I'M PREGNANT" from the rooftops. (Well, that and the obvious baby bump girl got going on.) Shit, she shoulda just topped the day's event's off by strolling down to the Ivy a few stores down. Not that there would be any paparazzi around to take pictures or anything like that. Nah...

A shopping spree in West Hollywood is nothing unusual for Christina Aguilera...With her husband Jordan Bratman, her mother-in-law and her sister-in-law in tow, Aguilera spent two hours picking out items for her baby registry at the posh Robertson Boulevard boutique Bel Bambini. ...Aguilera, who has never officially confirmed her pregnancy, told the staff that she was expecting – and revealed the gender of her baby, but asked to keep it private. With the help of her in-laws, the couple picked out a selection of items for her upcoming baby shower, including blankets, diaper bags, bottles and clothing. [people]

She Done Did It!

Pamela Anderson tied the knot...AGAIN! In the fashion of Alexis Carrington Colby Dexter, Pamela Anderson Lee Rock Salomon chooses not to let grass grow under her feet when it comes to staying single. It's clear she's the marrying kind. Now, let's see if she's the stay-married kind. I give it 6 months, tops. Care to wager your bets?

Pamela Anderson has said "I do" for the third time to longtime pal Rick Salomon. The pair tied the knot Saturday night in Las Vegas at the Mirage Hotel before Anderson's children and members of her family, sources confirm to PEOPLE. A conventional marriage it wasn't, as the nuptials actually took place in an hour-and-a-half between Anderson's two magic shows. Anderson, 40, donned a white denim Valentino dress [there's an oxymoron for ya: denim and Valentino] at the small ceremony. Wedding guests included Tobey Maguire, Lukas Haas [who da what what???] and magician Hans Klok. After the nuptials, it was right back to work for Anderson, who made no secret that she had just gotten married. "Hello, I just got married…I did," Anderson said after performing in the second magic show of the night. "I'm distracted. It's a big day. A big day at the office." [people]

We interrupt this blog for a BSA

God, she's done it again:

***WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG FOR A BSA: Britney Service Announcement***

Britney, in recent months you have displayed actions revealing the fact that you do not know how to get into and/or out of a vehicle without showing the world your cooch, your yin/yang, your hootinannie, your lady bits... Therefore, here's a step-by-step guide that will help you enter and exit your automobile like a true pro:

• Step One: Avoid wearing shirts as dresses. This will immediately alleviate any of the aforementioned problems.
• Step Two: If wearing a dress on the short side, it's imperative that you wear underwear. You know, panties...or skivvies, as you may call them. And no, even if you have them on -- it's still not OK to show us all your goodies. This counts for bras too. Cover that shit up.
  
• Step Three: Now, open the car door and whilst standing adjacent to the opening, bend with your knees. (Caution: Do not bend straight over like your picking up the soap in a prison shower.)
• Step Four: With your knees bent, casually swing your backside, i.e. ass, toward the car seat.
• Step Five: Lower your body -- and this is crucial -- while keeping your legs closed... that's closed -- not open... into the seat.
• Step Six: Congratulate yourself, BritBrit -- you're almost there. Now, swing your legs into the car as you swivel your butt in the seat. Remembering to KEEP THOSE LEGS TOGETHER...
• Step Seven: Adjust the hem of your skirt accordingly and proper. And then reach over to shut the door.

That's it. Think you can handle this? Women have been doing it for years. YOU CAN DO IT!

I should feel bad and all

but i don't. Kellie Pickler, perhaps the most annoying American Idol contestant in some years -- besides that annoying brat who thought she was Barbara Streisand (yeah, honey, good luck with all that) -- made news recently when she outed her cheatin' ex on stage. LOL. I do like dirty laundry.

Kellie Pickler ... told fans at a concert on October 1 that she and Nashville Predators player Jordin Tootoo were through. “Jordin knows what he did,” she said ominously. At a September 22 show in Michigan, concertgoers say that Pickler announced that her new theme song is Carrie Underwood’s Before He Cheats, and then added that she hoped Tootoo’s teeth would be knocked out during a hockey game. [us weekly]

Seriously, what self-respecting woman allows herself to date a man whose last name is TooToo?

I have a theory...

It has just occurred to me that Cameron Diaz might be Hollywood's favorite bike. In other words, she'd been ridden more than the average starlet. More colorfully put, she'll probably be buried in a Y-shaped coffin. Need I go on?

Think about it... Sure, she had a few trysts with monogamy (Matt Dillon, Justin Timberlake), but Cam grew tired of the same 'tang day in and day out. Girl needs some variety... Chicks need to mix it up, get freaky...get some stank on the down-low, if you know what I'm talking about. (Damn, I don't think I even know what I'm talking about.)

So, please help me out here -- if you can think of any other men Miss Cam has bedded (potentially, steadily, linked to), please add a comment with your additions and observations. Prove my theory right.

• Matt Dillon
• Jared Leto
• Jim Carrey
• Robbie Williams
• Carlos de La Torre (video producer)
  
• Justin Timberlake
• Djimon Hounsou
• John Mayer
• Jude Law
• That famous surfer dude whose name escapes me
• Chris Angel
• banking heir David De Rothschild
• a British environmentalist
• Vince Vaughn
• and the latest: Bradley Cooper -- the ink is hardly dry on his divorce papers, by the by. ;)

That John Mayer fling? So one month ago...Cameron Diaz, 35, and Bradley Cooper, 32, have been quietly dating for a few weeks and recently spent the weekend together in NYC. During the Saturday Night Live afterparty at Primehouse on September 29...the pair, who at one point stood hand in hand...she and Cooper (whose divorce from Jennifer Esposito will be finalized in November) were spotted the next afternoon strolling through Central Park and, by evening’s end, sitting in a luxury box at the New York Giants game. [us weekly]

Someone's Gettin' Liberated...

Much to my chagrin, George Clooney was caught on camera unloading a giant piece of sex furniture from his car. For those of you unfamiliar with the LIBERATOR, get educated here. (The Liberator is actually a fine product. What I don't need to know is that George and his new fling are having it off on one of those aforementioned fine products. The only way this scenario is remotely OK with me is if he's unloading that thing from his car and bringing it directly into my home...otherwise, I have no need to know this about him. I'll just stay in my ignorant bliss, thank you.)
Those of you with eagle-eyes (and I'm speaking to my fellow editors) will notice that the products in both pictures are indeed the same. Note the tell-tale logo on the side. Therefore, it cannot be misconstrued, as done so by some sites, as a foam wedge for mere sleeping purposes -- to alleviate an ailment, such as a bad back or a case of congestion. No, no... be not confused: It's for sex. Dirty, dirty sex.

Again, I must reiterate... a fine product.

Caught in the act!

Our gal on the street, Meri, in hopes to catch some SATC set action caught something else instead... Here's her latest report from the Manhattan scene:

Hello friends,

So this morning I was walking to work at 9am and walked past Tiffany's. I saw a big wedding-ish set and thought they must be shooting for the Sex and the City movie. Remembering my promise to Nicole to take pictures of this for her website, I go to my purse to take out my cell phone to snag some pix. I look at the bride and groom, and think "These aren't SATC characters. Who are they?" I look up to see Matt Lauer and this other woman (not Meredith Veira) filiming a segment for "Today Throws a Martha Stewart Wedding." Sadly, I did not see my icon Miss Martha. I survey the scene even further and see that there is a camera pointing in my direction (fine, in the direction of the bride and groom, who I was standing directly behind). In front of me, on the other side of the barrier, is the bridal party. So, after taking a few pictures, I went on my way to work and did some research. Apparently the couple had just gotten married at Rockefellar Center, got driven in a cab by Scott Baio (weird, I know) to Tiffany's, and were about to enter for their reception. So, here we go.

How fab ;)

2 1/2 Stoopit

Man, Charlie Sheen is about as stupid as they come. In the style of Alec Baldwin's "Rude little pig" escapade, check this shit out. Recent e-mails uncovered by Denise Richards' legal team cite the following harsh words from Sheen himself:

• "Go cry to your bald mom, you [bleeping] loser," Sheen allegedly says, referring to Richard's mother's ongoing chemotherapy treatments.

• "You are a pig. A sad, jobless pig who is sad and talentless and sad and jobless and evil and a bad mom, so go [bleep] yourself sad jobless pig," he allegedly writes about Richards' apparently nonexistent career prospects.

Denise also claims in her court filing that he told her that by no longer breast-feeding, she was causing their daughter, Sam, to "become retarded."[eonline]

Damn, Charlie. Those Heidi Fleiss days are lookin' pretty good 'bout now, ain't they?

Tee Hee

Imagine waking up to this?

A naked tailor allegedly found inside actor Nicolas Cage's Newport Beach home has pleaded not guilty to felony burglary. Police said Cage discovered Robert Dennis Furo, 45, of San Pedro in a bathroom doorway at 1:30 a.m. Monday, wearing only a leather jacket belonging to the actor. Police said Furo removed the jacket and Cage escorted him outside, where he was arrested. [LA Times]

LOL. Love it.

More from the SATC Movie Set...

Looks like Carrie's gettin' hitched!
But to whom???
No shots of Big in black tie....

Set your DVRs immediately

...to catch this season's most delightful surprise: Pushing Daisies . The hour-long dramedy premiered tonight, and I fear that like its much-colorful, incredibly artistic and absolutely irreverent predecessors Wonderfalls and Dead Like Me, this wonderful show will last a single season. I truly hope to eat these words.

Pushing Daisies relies heavily on the appeal of its main character, Ned (Wonderfall's die hards will remember him as Jaye Taylor's brother. I was too busy drooling over Fall's bartender, I forgot to notice how adorable Lee Pace is). Ned has the uncanny ability to bring the dead back to life with a single touch. One catch... if he leaves them alive for a single minute, someone else in close proximity must take their 'dead' place. Ned's Achilles Heel is that if he touches the person a second time, they die...this time for good. To complicate the plot further -- Ned's decided to bring his childhood love back to life after her untimely death. She's alive, but now what? Tune in to see. You won't be disappointed.

Pushing Daisies is not something America is used to watching. Like Wonderfalls and Dead Like Me, its rich in splendid art direction, smart dialog, and a plot that is just believable enough to kid yourself into being possible. In other words, its joyful escapism at its utmost best. Perhaps the producers should have sold this show to HBO or Showtime -- I fear for its safety on a major network. They tend to pull the plug too quick. What Daisies has going for it, unlike Bryan Fuller's previous collaborations, is a major advertising campaign and a great lead-in slot to the popular Grey's Anatomy spin-off, Private Practice. It was probably best in the 9pm slot, following Practice...but a Wednesday time isn't bad... at least the network didn't bury it on a Saturday.

In any case, before I bore you much further... PLEASE PLEASE WATCH!!! Wednesday at 8 on ABC. And do yourselves a favor: Rent Wonderfalls and Dead Like Me. Marvel at what good television is supposed to be like. ;)

SATC comes out shooting

If you're like me, you're positively jonesing for the upcoming Sex and the City movie. It's been too long a hiatus for the fashionable NYC gals... The cast is filming feverishly in Manhattan as we speak... Our sassy friend Meri has spyed some on-the-set activity (some pics above):

	FYI, the apt they're using for Carrie's is up the street from Greg. (of course, provided his luck). So he casually stalks the set occasionally. They were shooting both a snow scene and a rain scene the other day. I told him to make sure that he brought proper attire for both climates. I also saw them taping in the Starbucks at Astor Place last week..and last night when I was leaving work, I saw a bunch of lights on cranes, I can only assume they were getting ready to shoot around here.

Is it ever really over?

Now that Rock of Love is over, who will VH1 help crawl out of the gutter to star in the next installment of the show I love to hate so very deeply? Here are some possible contenders:

Vince Neil:

You remember this asshole. Lead singer, Motley Crue. Voice like nails scraping down a blackboard. Had his own VH1 reality show in which he had a makeover that included plastic surgery. Result: Didn't help. He's still fugly.

Axl Rose:

Ahh, everyone's favorite Guns and or Rose. The bad boy of rock n roll, who's had one too many bad days and failed attempts at reuniting the band. The gal who snags this rocker is sure to enjoy a meaningful courtship, filled with chivalrous romance and some form of conjunctivitis.

Ronnie James Dio:

Rock of Love: The Angry Midge. Why not? Little rockers need love too. Don't laugh, you insensitive twits. Show some mercy. Hell, I know I'd be sitting TVside every Sunday night, with my bowl of popcorn -- chomping at the bit to see what Ronnie's gonna make the gals do next! Episode five involves hurdles.

Rob Halford:

Come on... All that black leather and metal spikes... That's fetish baby. And Rob brings a whole new spin to the genre: Rock of Love -- For Men Only. I'd watch it. You know you would too. Groundbreaking...

Lemmy:

Motorhead is doing nothing... what's Lemmy to do? Perhaps the gal who wins his heart will also win the right to lance the troublesome boils on his face. God knows, I've been hoping someone would do so since 1982.

Shit we don't care about...

What passes for headlines these days:

Alyssa Milano Says She's Done Dating Athletes

Exclusive: Tyra Banks Not Engaged

Exclusive: Andrew Firestone Tells Us "I'm Engaged!"

Hills Watch: LC and Brody Kiss

Seriously, I could give a rat's ass.

There's a sucker born every minute

Didn't this dumb ho not just say recently that she was done with marriage? Check this shit out:

The former Baywatch star and Rick Salomon have applied for – and were granted – a marriage license in Las Vegas, according to Access Hollywood. ... Earlier this month, Anderson, appearing on Ellen DeGeneres's show, revealed that she was dating a new mystery man. "I paid off a poker debt with sexual favors, and I fell in love," Anderson told DeGeneres of her new guy. "It's so romantic. It's romance." Asked about her future plans, she said, "I'm not really engaged. I don't know what I am. We may never get that far. We're in love." [people]

Dear God... She'll catch up to Liz Taylor at this rate, quick enough. Oh, and speaking of Liz -- she's on to her 9th.

Boo Hoo for Brit Brit

Seriously, you don't need to be psychic to have seen this one comin'. And, it's probably a good thing. Except, KFed shouldn't have the kids either -- and her mother is questionable too... So, do these kids stand a chance of having a normal life??? Poor things.

Britney Spears temporarily lost custody because she couldn't provide a California driver's license and was accused of not taking a random drug and alcohol test, her lawyer tells PEOPLE. After a closed-door hearing Monday, a judge ordered that, from Wednesday, Kevin Federline gets physical custody of Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1, "until further order of the court."..."Specifically," Trope says, "the judge ordered that by 10 a.m. (Monday) morning, both parties show valid California driving licenses. I've been unable to produce evidence of that."...Trope says another reason behind the judge's temporary custody ruling "was a claim by Mr. Federline's attorney that she had not complied with a previous order the court had made – before I came on board (as lawyer) – about having a random drug and alcohol test." Trope adds: "There's no evidence that she actually failed a test." [people]

Where's Ashton?

One of our dear friends just had a A-List sighting of the 3rd kind. Here's her report on what's keeping Ashton Kutcher busy these days (Thanks, Jul!!! You Rock!!!):

...On Fire Island, filming the movie, "What Happens in
Vegas".

I took a hike to the lighthouse this morning. Thought
they were filming some sort of lame FI documentary,
but nope, AK there in all his glory, friggin camera
crews all over the place.

He was sitting on one of the benches outside, not too
many peeps around him. So I sat down next to him, our
legs touched, asked for an autograph (which I never
do, but I figured my kid would kill me if I didn't),
and the guy actually talked to me for a couple of
minutes.

Nice guy! Stunk though, smokin what must've been his
10th cigge, looked like a stoner, eyes barely
focusing, but cute and flirty.

And to think I went to see the deer....

Well, he asked me "what's to do around here".

I replied, "you're doin it."

Then, he asked if I knew of any good BBQ places
around. He told him you could probably get Smokin Al's
in Bayshore to deliver to ya. Told him it was just as
good as Blue Smoke in the city. Talked about more
restaurants. Told him he should check out the rest of
FI cause it's nice this time of year.

Offered my services as a guide; he remarked, "sure
thing, i'll be here tomorrow." Then he shook my hand
and they took him away.

Whew....

BTW, he's a BIG guy!

Hot Damn

Look, I know it's wrong to engage in schadenfreude... I know I shouldn't be glad this hotty is getting a d-vorce. But, I am. Sue me.

Dylan McDermott and his wife of nearly 12 years, actress Shiva Rose, have separated, his rep confirms to PEOPLE. McDermott, 45, and Rose, 38, have been married since 1995... [people]

Xenu is a potential suspect

Weird. I heard that Xenu was being questioned and that the e-meter readings were off the charts!!!

Publicist who tried to blackmail Tom Cruise found dead

LOS ANGELES (AFP) — A man who tried to extort money from Tom Cruise with stolen photos of the star's Italian wedding to actress Katie Holmes has been found dead, US authorities said on Saturday. David Hans Schmidt, 47, "was found dead in his home around 3 p.m. (2100 GMT) Friday" in Phoenix, Arizona, said Lieutenant Anthony Lopez, spokesman for the Phoenix Police Department. The Arizona Republic reported on its website that Schmidt had committed suicide, quoting his brother who said the publicist had suffered from depression. In July, Schmidt was arrested by the FBI after he tried to sell Cruise pictures from the couple's 2006 wedding for at least one million dollars. Schmidt, who admitted to the extortion charge in a plea deal, has been under home arrest since last month. Police went to his house after noticing the tracking device on his ankle had not moved. He was due to appear for formal sentencing in a federal court on October 11. [afp]

Schmidt was a controversial figure, best known for the deals he brokered to sell salacious celebrity memorabilia, including the contents of a storage unit rented by Paris Hilton, topless photos of rescued U.S. Army POW Pfc. Jessica Lynch, nude photos of Jamie Foxx and a score of videos featuring the sexcapades of stars like Colin Farrell, Tonya Harding (the "wedding night" tape), Divine Brown and Dustin "Screech" Diamond, among others. [us weekly]

EXPOSE: Oscar's Stripper Pics

When X17 first released these pics of the Golden Boy donning a body fishnet in seductive poses, Oscar and his people were quick to come out and say that the pics were doctored. X17 stands by the authenticity of the photos. J&M decided to launch an investigation all their own...

First the photos.







If these photos are indeed fakes, the photoshopper is a very gifted one... Star magazine might want to snatch them right up for the stories they make up. Upon closer look, the false nature of the photos does sort of become clearer. Oscar's head seems much larger in proportion to the body and in some of the photos, the cock-eyed angle at which he's looking at the camera makes it seem like his neck is contorted in a weird, almost non-human, way. Whatever the case, these photos are really a good time.