Hannah Montana is the hawtness

So Johnny and I fled San Diego on Monday morning just as the fires reared their ugly heads and headed for the mountain-clean air of Salt Lake City. The fire that broke out near us caused our neighborhood to be evacuated and we weren't able to return nor drive anywhere to escape the soot and ash that was falling from the sky as if nuclear winter had descended upon us. We went to Johnny's workplace about 20 miles from our home in the hopes that the air conditioning system there would have filtered out the soot and ash but it was still pretty bad. And driving out of state was out of the question since all the highways leading out of SD were packed with evacuees. Catching a flight was really our only option so we high-tailed it to Salt Lake City.

On our second to last night there, we went over to the Energy Solutions Arena where the Utah Jazz play. Being that Johnny is a NBA fanatic, we needed to check out the digs but when we arrived, swarms of little girls had taken over the place. The entire perimeter was teaming with signs and shouting and moms and their little girls. The Disney Channel was there and apparently Hannah Montana was in town for a concert at the arena. We couldn't get in but we stuck around to check out all the commotion. It was surreal... Huge posters saying "I heart Hannah Montana" and "Miley Cyrus rocks" were everywhere. After about two seconds, we got out of there and decided we'd come back the next day.


Next day, at about 2 pm. We got off the tram at the arena and still swarms of people surrounded the arena. Apparently, Hannah was playing two nights in Salt Lake City. Geez, what a fanbase this girl has... The Disney Channel bus was still there and more little girls and signs and shouting. We checked out the doors to the arena and discovered one that hadn't been closed all the way; the carpet had gotten snagged under it. We got in and started walking around. The t-shirt sellers were restocking their kiosks and the occassional security person didn't give a rat's ass about our presence there. After walking through the corridors of the place, Johnny tried one of the doors leading to the seats and stage area, it opened and out poured music. We went in and grabbed a seat and was treated to the dress rehearsal for that night's show! Now, never having watched Hannah Montana, I didn't really know what Miley looked like. I had seen her at the Nickelodian's Kids' Choice Awards and she was a brunette. So I thought one of the brunette girls onstage was her. But then a blonde girl came out who started singing and dancing and I realized that was Miley. WTF? Miley and the back-up singers did their thing for a few songs before Johnny and I left. We sauntered around some more, still more security personnel not giving a rat's ass about our presence within the arena.

When we got to the hotel later on, I decided to do some research to edumacate myself on Hannah and Miley. Turns out, the show Hannah Montana refers to the name of the pop star Miley Cyrus plays on the show. It's kind of the Jem and the Holograms deal. Like no one but her best friend and dad knows that Miley is actually Hannah Montana by night. And even weirder? The name of the tour is Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Tour. And the poster features her picture as both people. So bizarre. She performs songs as Miley and then performs others as Hannah Montana. At 30 years old, I'm a little baffled by all this. How can this make sense to the 8-year-old girls I saw running around?

--Melissa